// friendship between a girl and a boy???
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Question: friendship between a girl and a boy is right in islam???
yes - 1 (16.7%)
no - 5 (83.3%)
Total Voters: 6

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hira
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« on: May 03, 2010 04:19 PM »


Aoa!!
Actually i want to ask about the friendship between a girl and a boy if they are na. mehram.. i had 5 friends who were boys .. out of which two were just like brothers to me.. they took me as their sister and i respct them as my brothers.. we did not meet each other,we did not even touch each other as real brother sister do.. we just had a relation that we talked to each other.
now i have quit talking to them because i came to know that talking to na.mehram is prohibited in islam..
i have read Quran pak.. and what i have understood(may be im wrong) that God has not permitted the relation between a girl and a boy so that He wanted to save us from bigger sins like "zana".. so if our "niyyats" are true towards each other.. then is it wrong that we talked to each other??
so im now confused that either talking to all na.mehrams is wrong or if our "niyyat" is right then we can talk to any one???
so plzz. guide me that i am right or wrong.. n what shud i do so that Allah becomes happy from me..Huh?
waiting for ur reply..plz reply to me in detail so that all my confusions get resolved.. Jazakallah..!!
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« Reply #1 on: May 03, 2010 09:40 PM »

Listen it's like this... we think we know the boundaries, but then emotion gets involved...

This usually happens in late high school or college... we find people, usually Muslims, who we can relate to, who understands the same things we are going through, experiences, struggles and fun...

Fast forward a bit... "business" like discussion sometimes goes further... talked about school, or msa or news stories... then it gets to family, friends... hey lets all go out have hold an event together... this lead to further discussions...

I was there, I was friends with a lot of sisters in University, because I was the "safe" brother. Little did I know that the niyah of some of the sisters changed... in fact it cause harm with my friendship with other brothers because of it, because, later, they didn't want their husbands, which was my friends, to know everything about them... as innocent as it was...in other cases, sisters got different understanding of what friends mean... this happens with bros as well... you find a like minded muslima who is cool, funny, jokes around with you, sudden you see her in a different light...it's one thing if the parents are aware you guys are having the conversation for marriage, before the conversation begins, its another to have to approach them after you have fallen in love...

We joke about movies, particularly, bollywood style movies, but where do they get that stuff? "Your my best friend, yar? (KKHH)" ... the answer is no ...

The MSAs take you to the limit of how much interaction is allowed between a brother and sister... this is what a good grad brother taught me when I was in president of a local MSA... outside of that framework... if your parents know and support the conversation for the intention of marriage... then fine... even then, be warry of being in situation that you may later regret... Islam is a proactive religion, not a reactive religion. One of Imams talks about how many couples he had to marry recently because "they had to" ... because of pregancy or otherwise... and these are (at least externally) practicing muslims... sisters with hijab, brothers with beards, etc...


What, is the purpose of the meeting  - and can  you look in the bros heart and know what their intention is?

Your bro (with a clean intention Smiley)

 thobebro
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« Reply #2 on: May 04, 2010 12:45 AM »

Salam,

What is friendship sister? Colleagues? Working together on a project or organization? Family friends? Growing up in the same community friends and seeing the other at Mosque once in awhile?

Or is it like late night chatting? About this or that? Posting all over their Facebook, commenting about their pictures. Sometimes flirting, sometimes serious. When one or the other consideration's could be 'for marriage'.

It's a thin line. I'd suggest not being "friends" with any guys ie talking to them like you would with your girlfriends, ie calling them, chatting with them, texting them. There's no need and this type of relationship as mentioned above can so easily change into something else even if everyones "niyyat" is true.
hira
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« Reply #3 on: May 04, 2010 07:35 PM »

hmm thanks for the replies..thats why i stopped talking to them.. one of those (brother of mine) suggested me to do so.. as he was taking some islamic lectures.
plz do pray that Allah guide us all n protect us from shaitan.. !!
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« Reply #4 on: May 05, 2010 09:11 PM »

We will pray for you , little sister hira... but don't be so worried...Allah(swt) knows your intention...Anways to cheer you up... here is some girl boy Humour / Humor  - Part 1

Your heart will not truly open until you understand Surah 21 : Verse 92  (Al-Anbiya: The Prophets)

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« Reply #5 on: May 05, 2010 09:12 PM »

some more girl boy Humour / Humor  - Part 2

Your heart will not truly open until you understand Surah 21 : Verse 92  (Al-Anbiya: The Prophets)

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UBAB
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« Reply #6 on: May 05, 2010 09:13 PM »

some more girl boy Humour / Humor  - Part 3

Your heart will not truly open until you understand Surah 21 : Verse 92  (Al-Anbiya: The Prophets)

Help Build the Community! Visit:
Madinat al-Muslimeen > The City > Naseeha Corner > Community Toolbox
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