// Marriage ?
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Anonymous
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« on: May 26, 2010 10:50 AM »


A Muslim girl marries a Christian man (Mushrik) and is happy in her marraige. Husband has refused to convert to islam from "very beginning". Wife says its OK as she is happy and they are now planning children. Raise them as Christian and Muslim and leave for them to decide when they grow of age. Girl keeps her fasts, prays, & practises Islam and has refused to leave this man. Any comments regarding Islamic laws and rules for increasing knowledge on this topic or subject. Please comment? Whats the outcome?

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« Reply #1 on: May 26, 2010 11:08 AM »

Salam,

This is a very difficult situation for the girl I'm sure. But since you're asking for Islamic laws and rules, it's true it's not allowed for a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim. The "marriage" in this case is not considered valid. The children would not be considered "legitimate" even though alhamdulillah in Islam there are no sins on the child from their parents. Also the sister would be considered to be "living in sin" and of course relations with someone you're not allowed to have relations with would be considered to be Zina. The girl is not a non-muslim or anything but it's a very difficult situation to be in since Zina is a major sin.

I would advise the sister to try as hard as possible to get her husband to convert and INSIST that he convert. He's OK with raising the kids as Muslim so why not himself? Also, about raising kids as both Christian and Muslim I would posit that no one is actually doing this, they're actually raising them to be neither because Islam and Christianity are NOT the same and diametrically opposed in some major ways.  

May Allah help guide her and her husband inshaAllah.


Ps. Lastly I know this is going to kind of hurt, but happiness is not the measure of something being OK. Lots of people are HAPPY and are committing major sins that they will be accountable for.
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« Reply #2 on: May 26, 2010 11:52 AM »

salam

Regarding children, you will never be able to bring up children as both Christian and Muslim, they will grow up neither. But celebrating the christian feasts because christmas and easter are fun with no hard work involved, I've seen it with friends who have one muslim parent and one non muslim parent.

When the mother decides to teach her children to pray at some point they will refuse on the grounds that their father does not pray five times a day or fasts during ramadan. Because it will seem a chore for them.

The fundemental differences between the two will be stark once children come along.

Also for the mother she has to consider this, she will have children, does she honestly want to bring children into the world who may well grow up as non Muslim?

I have two little girls, and I adore watching them grow up and discussing Allah, it took a lot of duas before they were born, my dua for my girls is that they walk into Jannah ahead of me, as a mother it would be worse than a thousand slow deaths for me to see my girls stray from the righteous path.

I've never ever been in love so it's very easy for me to say this, however in other things, I have and I would again be willing to sacrifice a worldly love purely for the love of Allah.


Wassalaam

And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
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« Reply #3 on: May 28, 2010 06:24 PM »

My children are being raised both Christian and Muslim. Due to the courts and my divorce from my husband who is Christian. It is a HUGE strain. But I thnk God my ex does not practice his Christian faith. The children relate themselves as muslims, but I do run into the .. I don't have to do that at dad's and dad's is more fun.. aka Christmas and Easter. You friend will have to deal with that. Also I don't think she should INSIST that he becomes muslim, if he feels forced it might have an opposite effect, he might hate Islam, or say shahada just to make her be quiet. Perhaps see if he wishes to be more involved in the community and see Islam first hand. Nothing in life is guaranteed. I guess it comes back to her priorities. If God was at the top, she never would have considered a non-muslim man, who would not honor her in her faith and give her Islamic rights.  She had to know that this marriage would not be valid in the first place. Allah knows best.

I believe in Islam like the sun rising, not because I see it but because by it, I see everything else.
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