// To grow a beard or to not?
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Anonymous
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« on: Jun 21, 2010 10:09 AM »


Assalaamulaikum,

heres the deal on behalf of another sister whose recently gotten married.

Her husband has started growing a beard mashallah.  This sister doesnt like beards, shes not attracted to them, and doesnt mind if her husband wants to trim the beard so he has facial hair covering his face but she really doesnt like the beard.

Now what should this bro do?

TRIM it for the pleasure of his wife even though he's following the sunnah?

Or ignore the wifes perferance and contine the bead knowing that it she doesnt like it.

Her arguement is that she does her best to look good for him, why should he do the same.  Also just a note, this sister does know its sunnah and the brother didnt have the beard when they got married, he just started about a week ago.

Any advice?


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Christine_1208
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« Reply #1 on: Jun 21, 2010 03:40 PM »

I think he should speak to her and tell her this is sunnah, and see how she reacts. If she loves the prophet  (saaw) and Allah she may change her view. I for one LOVE the beard, my husband does not have one, but anytime he wants one I am ready to support him. I find the dress and beard very attractive, yet that is me. I wish more brothers had beard and wore the Islamic dress. I follow my Lord, I like to see them follow theirs.

I understand her looking good for her hubby, but I am sure she still covers outside for Allah. He respects her for that. She should respect him for wanting to do the same. He can keep it trimmed and tamed. Maybe they can try it and see if she likes it. If not, this is no reason to start an arguement in a marriage. I however, would not want to be the one to put up a road block for my husband to be close to Allah and the prophet (saaw). His taqwa and obedience to Allah is also what will make him a good husband. The sunnah is sub obligatory, if avoided over time it can result as a sin. Atlease, this is how my Imam stated it. If I am wrong some PLEASE correct me.

Allahu Alam.

May Allah bless their marriage and place Mercy and Love between them. Ameen.

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« Reply #2 on: Jun 21, 2010 05:09 PM »

I've always had a beard and have not really faced this problem. However, I do understand that this is an important matter between the spouses, as mutual attraction is something that both should attempt to increase.


Even though this is sunnah, and highly recommended, I'd suggest that the brother in question makes sure that he does not force the matter.

He should let his wife know his preferences, but if she really does not like it, he can go without the beard for a while (women who love you tend to change their mind themselves to support you sooner or later). Insha'Allah Almighty Allah will put it into her hear to support his desire for keeping a beard for the sake of Allah, and to be a step closer to the practices of the Rasul'Allah (SAW).

However, if and when he does keep the beard, he should keep it regularly trimmed.

syid
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« Reply #3 on: Jun 21, 2010 05:58 PM »

is growing the beard sunnah or a command?   'A'isha reported: The Messenger of Allah (saw) said: Ten are the acts according to fitra: clipping the moustache, letting the beard grow, using the tooth-stick, snuffing water in the nose, cutting the nails, washing the finger joints, plucking the hair under the armpits, shaving the pubes and cleaning one's private parts with water. The narrator said: I have forgotten the tenth, but it may have been rinsing the mouth.  (Book #002, Hadith #0502).
Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said "Five things are in accordance with Al Fitra (i.e. the tradition of prophets): to be circumcised, to shave the pelvic region, to pull out the hair of the armpits, to cut short the moustaches, and to clip the nails.'  (Book #74, Hadith #312)
(Allah knows best)


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« Reply #4 on: Jun 21, 2010 07:20 PM »

Salam Alykum Brother Syid,
This is a very controversial topic, with strong arguments from both sides.

People go so far as to say that someone without a beard cannot lead your prayers (as they would not be accepted), and that they are fasiq (i.e. carrying out minor sins by not having a beard).

However, this is one of those things that may differ according to the mazhabs (I'll do some more research insha'Allah and post later).

Also, there are Prophetic sunnahs that were more cultural than divinely inspired. I remind myself to be careful of saying that certain actions are haram or fard without deeper knowledge insha'Allah.

May Almighty Allah give us hidayat to the truth.

I see sunnahs as very important, but there is a practical issue of the happiness of a young Muslim couple, and the best of us are those who are the best to their spouses and family members... and may they both increase in Eman and the pleasure of Allah in their choices.

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« Reply #5 on: Jun 21, 2010 07:23 PM »

ws,

there is a difference of opinion on the beard some i believe say it's wajib so that takes it to a whole new level. but the one who posted seems to go with it's a sunnah. there's so many kinds of 'beards' why not go for a close shaven goatee type style. maybe she's afraid that the beard is gonna get out of control and long etc.

hehe thought this was funny:

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« Reply #6 on: Jun 21, 2010 08:33 PM »

as-salaamu-alaikum, I found this on www.themodernreligion:
     Albani's answer: It is not permissible for the Muslim to remove any hair from the beard except what the Lawgiver has allowed. It is reported from one of the companions who narrated the hadeeth, "Leave the beard and trim the mustaches," 'Abdullaah bin 'Umar, that he used to remove from his beard what was below a fistful. Apart from that, trimming the beard is against the Sunnah, whether or not the man's beard is pleasing to him, and whether or not it is pleasing to others, for all of Allaah's creation is handsome, as in the saheeh hadeeth, where the Prophet (saw) saw a man with a long waist-shirt and ordered him to have his izaar halfway up his shins; the man gave the excuse that he had a defect in his ankles, so the Prophet (saw) said, "All of Allaah's creation is handsome." (saheeh-Ahmad and others. This phrase is actually of Qur'anic origin cf. Sajdah 32:7).


LIVE YOUR LIFE FOR THE SAKE OF ALLAH:
IF IT'S NOT FOR THE SAKE OF ALLAH IS IT EVEN WORTH DOING?
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