Assalam alaikom everyone,
May Allah send u his blessings and mercy.
I have a question for Ramadan and I am asking for some tips and advice. I want to thank you in advance for dealing with me over the past year and all my growing pains with Islam. You are in my du'a and some of you have come very dear to my heart!!!
So last ramadan, was horrible. I had trouble fasting with my diabetes. I had issues with feeling disconnected and I was alone for 90% of the time. I am actually starting to feel very nervous about ramadan approaching and not looking forward to it at all. I know this year I will not fast due to high-risk pregnancy. I will have my husband to help, but I don't see how that changes anything. If I go to the masjid he will be with his brothers and I really don't fit into the clicks with the sisters. I tried a couple times last year and I ended up sitting outside eating alone, there were no seats and everyone had there groups. When I asked to join they made me feel very uncomfortable, besides they would speak Arabic so I could not join in conversation. I have no idea what to do.. I see my husband getting excited about it and he talks about us going to the masjid. I am starting to feel lost already like I did last year. Last year I felt so far from Allah.. I just don't wanna feel the way I did last year.. ever again.
I am looking for tips and advice. I just don't "FEEL" Ramadan.. May Allah forgive me but Christmas is still my favorite holiday.
I guess cause I spend so much time with family and friends. Not so much presents and stuff. I don't decorate or any of that crap. I just visit and stuff. Alot of my family will have dinners during that time, so we meet and talk and have a wonderful time.
Any help is appreciated. Any other reverts have this? How long did it take to enjoy Ramadan or understand it? I know I will read my english Quran. I am looking for a better one. My husband has noticed some things wrong in it.. or meaning. In Surah the Woman it states a man can not marry his wife.
Also I have no symbols for prostration, he showed me the difference between his and mine. I went through and drew the symbols in my qu'ran.
I just rememeber how much I enjoyed lent, I want the same for Ramadan.. over time Inshallah I am sure I will get there.