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Author Topic: Up hill battle..  (Read 1832 times)
MUSLIMCHICKEN
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« on: Aug 03, 2010 05:51 PM »



Salaam Alaikum,

I am new to this site and am very happy to see there is a "Sisters only" section. Think, hope rather; that someone out there can offer advice. I am a covert, based in London UK, I converted from Christianity about 6 years ago and have to say that it was the best decision I ever made Alhamdulillah. I have been thinking about wearing Hijab for the past two years or if I'm honest my heart has been yearning for Hijab for a long long time; I have read a lot about the virtues of Hijab and when I wear it I honestly feel protected, beautiful, liberated everything that I wished and hoped for.

I am from a very strict Christian background and was a devout Christian from a young age, as one would expect and some may empathise with; my family are quite strongly against me being Muslim. I have spent the past 4 years working really hard on trying to maintain bridges, dispel western (English) media stereotypes and show my family a strong, secure pious image not too distant from the morals and values my Mum brought me up with.

So to get to the point... 2010 has proved to be an awful year for me. My father died in April from a heart attack followed by my best friend taking her life in June (May Allah have mercy on them both and grant them peace and a place in Jannah Ameen). Shortly after losing my dad I decided it was time to stop putting Hijab off and to put it on. I have always been a bit of an outsider in this western society, being from a mixed race background, being a devout Christian as a youth in a Godless society and now being a convert Muslim Hijab in what proves to still be a Godless society.

As many converts have commented on this site, it is very difficult making the transition from modest western Muslim to modest Hijab western Muslim. I have had many doubts as to whether I should have made such a huge rash decision whilst going through such tragic grief. I respect Allah commands I know that I can't go back or take off my Hijab, I’m just worried that the shaytan is whispering too many doubts in my ears... I am certain that the decision I made is for life, I pray Allah will make my uncertainties certain and that I am always aware of what family opinions will be and that I will always be prepared and strong enough to handle criticism from those that I love.

When I called my mum shortly after my dad passed to tell her I’m going to start wearing Hijab, the reaction wasn’t one I wished for. I suppose I am just in need of more sisters around me and more cheerleaders. parts of London are so anti Muslim and coupling that with a family that are so anti-Muslim, it just feels that every day, every interaction, every breath is a struggle. There has to be a way of living my life the way Allah commands me too and sticking to my guns, and having y family close to me as well... I love them too much to distance myself from them yet I love Allah with all my heart and I feel caught between trying to appease family that have no interest in understanding me, and being me without compromise..
Fozia
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« Reply #1 on: Aug 03, 2010 08:38 PM »

salam


Congratulations on taking the step to wear hijab, some of us on here do, and some of us don't, and some of us are considering it, so you will find support and understanding here Inshallah.


I'm not learned in these things, but I have to say, well done you for trying to maintain your family ties, it is an Islamic value we are all commanded to maintain our family ties and to treat our parents with love and respect, regardless of their religion.

I've never been in your position so I probably won't be much help with the advice on how to get your family to accept your decision to wear hijab.

I have however experience of difficult mothers! This time last year was very tough for me subhanallah, as it was my first ramadan after my divorce, and my mother was clearly having a hard time coming to terms with my newly acquired status, so she was I felt pushing me and pushing me. I think she felt responsible in some way as she had arranged my marriage.
I work so I had to rely on my parents for help with child care that year. That ramadan, gosh did I make heartfelt dua, that my mum stop hating me so much that Allah help me and give me support and strength, and gosh I must have wept several oceans of tears... However it is my very own resolve never ever to speak out of turn to my mother, or my father for that matter, and I never said anything to my mother, if she ever brings up my divorce I tell her it was Allahs will, it was wrtitten and never meant to pass me by, and I accept what Allah has written for me gladly, I don't mind all, there is lesson somewhere in all of this and possibly this affliction has deflected some greater one that could have broken me completely...

The point of my waffling? Well before Ramadan ended, I had acquired a wonderful muslim childminder, and this year subhanallah, my mother insisted I come to her during ramadan, and she has been so loving I sometimes want to look over my shoulder just to check she's not talking to someone behind me....

My point I guess is that make dua for your parents, make dua for yourself, inshallah this too shall pass, and because you have taken the hijab for the love of Allah, Allah will take protect you inshallah.
Also if your mum is antagonistic about Islam, just dont talk about it, if she asks you something answer but no need to make every conversation about your religion, and if she says something calculated to upset you, take whatever she says literally, I do the wide eyed innocent reply to rude questions all the time, generally the questioner does not have the gall to repeat their question or remark in more detail!

If you need IM me, I'm in London too.


I'm sure you will get a lot of responses inshallah on here. And welcome to the board.

Lots of love and duas
Wassalaam

And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
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