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Author Topic: Breaking up with friend (continued from old board)  (Read 1120 times)
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peaceman has no influence :(
Gender: Male
Posts: 38

« on: Feb 19, 2008 08:55 AM »

 peace be upon you


I want to remove myself from harm. I am very close to my friend and love him
like family, but he is a terrible influence on me and my deen. Although I feel a sense of
responsibility towards him, because he is struggling in life right now, I cannot help him
anymore. I feel sad, guilty, and responsible for protecting him, but everytime I talk to
him or to someone close to him, I undergo a serious bout of depression which changes my
attitude towards my own family and my other responsibilities like God, work and family.
We need to suck it in, take it like men, and move on...even if that means moving on from
each other's company forever. He has the demon on failure on his back, which is not
something I feel for myself, and I feel obligated to help him out of it.  But it is really
taking a toll on me. I'm on the brink of getting married and I do not want to start a new
life with this burden on my shoulders, or with his company always lurking in the
neighborhood.  His parents are looking for a girl for him, and they keep threatening me that if I
mention anything about what happened, they will make my life miserable. I really want to
bury the hatchet, and don't want them coming anywhere near my old and new family. I want
to mourn the loss of 2 good friends. My best friend and a member of family. Then I want to
move on.

      Honorable brother,

     Know that if you have repented to Allah sincerely, that Allah erases all
the sins from the past, no matter how great and many they are. The
scholars say there are three conditions for the repentance to be accepted:

1. Immediately stop doing it.
2. Have te regret for it.
3. Having the firm resolve never to repeat it.

   Once you and your friend have fulfilled the conditions for the repentance,
Allah has forgiven the sins, and there is no need to look back on them and
dwell on them.  You both should move on and look to the future, by encouraging
each other in learning the ilm, and discourage each other from sins.
     You and your friend should both go to the imam of your community,
and learn from him , and listen to the knowledge that he conveys, and
encourage each other to attend the programs and classes that are offered
in the muslim community, and increase your knowledge.

    You both should reconcile, and remove the animosity that is placed in
your chests. This animosity is because of ignorance and lack of ilm, and hardness
in the heart, and misguidance that developes when people stay away from the ilm
and places of ilm.

     And Allah knows.


May Allah increase you in knowledge.
Take a look at my site:

Also a good site with several mp3 durus of beneficial knowledge from our ulema, fiqh explaining the book "bulgh Maram" , Q&A,
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