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Author Topic: Man marries four women to prove ex-wife wrong  (Read 2630 times)
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« on: Oct 10, 2010 05:28 PM »


Can't resist posting this... !!! Wack...Never marry in anger is a what we should have learned from Bollywood Smiley  just leads to misery and pain.. I bet the next day he was like ughhh how am I gonna support 4 wives!!

==================================================
Man marries four women to prove ex-wife wrong
Emirates

A Saudi man married four women at the same time just to prove his ex-wife was wrong when she told him no other woman would marry him.

The Saudi woman had thought her 23-year-old ex-husband was bluffing when he told her he would marry four women at the same night to show she was mistaken, the Arabic language daily Alwatan reported on Wednesday.

“He fulfilled his promise and married four women at the same time and in one night just to vex his ex-wife,” the paper said.

It quoted the unidentified man from the southwestern province of Asir as saying he divorced his first wife because their marriage was a total failure.

“After I divorced her a few months later, she defied me and said that I will not be able to marry again as no other woman will accept me,” he said. “I replied by swearing to her that I will marry four at the same time and in one night.”

Alwatan said the man paid his four new wives around SR80,000 (Dh78,000) as dowry (money paid by bridegrooms to their brides under Islamic law).

The man also paid SR10,000 (Dh9,900) in expenses for his honey moon, the paper added, without making clear if the honey moon involved all the four.

Under Islamic law, Muslim men can have four wives at the same time and such an edict has given rise to polygamy in the oil-rich Gulf.
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« Reply #1 on: Oct 10, 2010 05:47 PM »

salam

Wonder how long he'll be able to stay married for.


Wassalaam

And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
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« Reply #2 on: Oct 10, 2010 06:06 PM »

Saudis are awfully arrogant and hot headed,if not all,most of them are.At least that has been my experience.They never think about the consequences.
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« Reply #3 on: Oct 10, 2010 06:53 PM »

ws,

I wouldn't say all. There used to be many that came here for school and they were all extremely kind, generous and honest!! Dunno about their home life but I think this guy is just being spiteful...and definitely on the "rebound".
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« Reply #4 on: Oct 10, 2010 07:36 PM »

Asalaamu Alaikum bro

What was he thinking Huh?

And equally worryingly; what was wife number four thinking when she accepted???


I wonder how that conversation went down?


‘Will you marry me?’

‘Yes, I’d be delighted, have you been married before?’

‘Oh yes, I’ve gotten married three times already tonight so you’ll be my fourth’

‘Oh okay, that sounds wonderful’



Huh?



I wonder if he actually told any of his new wives what he had done?


InshaAllah perhaps some common sense can prevail in this situation and any actions done in haste can be redressed accordingly.

Just goes to show the wisdom of the hadith which states that deliberation in any matter comes from Allah and haste from Shaitan.

Say: "O ye my servants who believe! Fear your Lord, good is (the reward) for those who do good in this world. Spacious is God's earth! those who patiently persevere will truly receive a reward without measure!" [39:10]
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« Reply #5 on: Oct 10, 2010 09:33 PM »

salam


you know I thought that he married all four women at the same time!

Places like the middle East it's very easy to marry, one two three or four women, with abject poverty suffered by many, and plural marriages being the norm, I doubt thinking past being financially
comfortable (dude sounds fairly well off), and gaining the social status afforded by marriage that any thought further than that.....besides pragmatically speaking, if he's not the best catch in the sea, at least the women can share the burden of him!!!!



Wassalaam

And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
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« Reply #6 on: Oct 11, 2010 01:40 AM »

wow!

this is really sad.  i cannot believe he would find 4 women that desperate to marry him all at one time.

if its that easy to get hitched in KSA, maybe women are just a commodity there.

even in developing countries, its not that easy to get married unless you are really rich, and they are really, really poor.

 
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« Reply #7 on: Oct 11, 2010 01:47 AM »


this is really sad.  i cannot believe he would find 4 women that desperate to marry him all at one time.

if its that easy to get hitched in KSA, maybe women are just a commodity there.

even in developing countries, its not that easy to get married unless you are really rich, and they are really, really poor.


Getting married in KSA is pretty difficult..the man has to be really really rich.
The woman's guardian/wali (almost always the father) asks for money for himself apart from the Mahr to approve of the marriage.
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« Reply #8 on: Oct 11, 2010 08:22 AM »

i thought this was  Cheesy

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« Reply #9 on: Oct 11, 2010 09:34 AM »

salam

So basically women are treated as a commodity in KSA then?

The woman's guardian/wali (almost always the father) asks for money for himself apart from the Mahr to approve of the marriage.

It would be funny, except these are real live people..... I just feel incredibly sad ofr the owmen involved.

But maybe dude's a nice guy (despite evidence to the contrary), and they'll all be happy Inshallah.



Wassalaam

And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
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« Reply #10 on: Oct 11, 2010 09:51 AM »

salam

So basically women are treated as a commodity in KSA then?


You could say that.

The whole marriage process goes like this..
Once the two parties are brought together, the father almost inevitably makes his demands clear.If the groom pays up then its set.Sometimes social and religious organisations intervene on behalf of the groom and ask the father not to be so stupid coz its Haram and all.
Supposing its fixed, first the Nikah happens and then the groom has to set up a house and meet all the demands of his wife (this goes even till the color of the car,Saudi women are pretty demanding).At times this list of demands is negotiated before the Nikah(if the woman is too materialistic).
Once everything is up and running they have a reception(which are awesome!;) great food) and that ends the whole process.

This is how things generally happen in KSA..At least in Jeddah,I am not so sure about the rest of KSA.

The men suffer the most with costs running into millions of Riyals at times.This is why you hear of those holiday marriages and misyar and mutah.
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« Reply #11 on: Oct 11, 2010 02:43 PM »

Asalaamu Alaikum bro

You know this whole episode seemed a bit fishy to me so I did a bit of digging and it turns out that the story may well go back to an incident which happened in 2003.


http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/en/doc/2003-09/30/content_268948.htm

http://www.iol.co.za/news/back-page/rejected-man-takes-four-wives-to-spite-lover-1.113835


It’s interesting how the Reuters quotes from the Saudi Al Watan newspaper are pretty much the same in the two pieces above but different wording is used in the more updated version.


Now of course, they may indeed actually be two different stories.



That said, whether this incident happened in 2003 or 2010, it is still pretty demeaning to the spirit of Islam and marriage but I have to say if it did happen in 2003 I really would like to know how things turned out bro


Just goes to show (if we didn’t already know) that we should take what we read in the press with the proverbial pinch of salt!!!

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« Reply #12 on: Oct 11, 2010 10:11 PM »

 Lips Sealed I better stop saying that to my hubby....  Embarrassed

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« Reply #13 on: Oct 11, 2010 10:19 PM »

Lips Sealed I better stop saying that to my hubby....  Embarrassed


Asalaamu Alaikum bro

What was he thinking Huh?

And equally worryingly; what was wife number four thinking when she accepted???


I wonder how that conversation went down?


‘Will you marry me?’

‘Yes, I’d be delighted, have you been married before?’

‘Oh yes, I’ve gotten married three times already tonight so you’ll be my fourth’

‘Oh okay, that sounds wonderful’



Huh?


All I could do was laugh with you two on this...lol

There should be a waiting period between marriages, it's like he went on a shopping spree, but we all know that bill stings in the end!

OUCH.. No thanks.

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« Reply #14 on: Oct 12, 2010 06:23 AM »

Fozi he may be a nice guy, but
'nice' guys don't necessarily make good husbands.

What it looks like is that he has made marriage a complete joke.
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« Reply #15 on: Oct 12, 2010 09:22 AM »

salam

I was trying to think of a positive spin on the whole mess..... Sad



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And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
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« Reply #16 on: Oct 13, 2010 04:44 AM »

hmm, incredible!!!!! Shocked
a friend of mine almost fell into a trap like that, unknown to her the hubby to-be had arranged another marriage to another lady on the same day as hers, she found out some days to the wedding and broke up with him.
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« Reply #17 on: Oct 13, 2010 10:46 AM »

salam

I'm shocked and disgusted, men do that?

If a man wants to marry four wives, whenever, surely he should have the balls to tell the women involved that they are not going to be his only wife.

NB, is this question on the top 100 things to ask a prospective spouse, "Are you already married, planning to marry someone other than me before, or during marriage to me or in the process of being married to me?"

Ridiculous!


Is it me or has the world gone mad?



Wassalaam

And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
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« Reply #18 on: Oct 13, 2010 07:24 PM »

ws,

Some of the things I hear about are seriously  Shocked Like this one college friend married someone then found out he had a wife and kids back in his home country!? Another girl in this area married some guy who maxed out her credit cards then ran off back to his country. A sister I knew in England met this guy for marriage with his mother and his mother was like "doesn't my son have a nice beard?" (and he had like a huge beard) and she was like "uhhh mmm". Then she found out he was like a drug addict/seller up north! No lie these are first-hand accounts. Sometimes I get the feeling Muslim women should hire private detectives to find out everything about the person before marriage  oldshaykh
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« Reply #19 on: Oct 13, 2010 08:15 PM »

There are people like this all over the place and in every religion. Hypocrites and egocentrics have always been around, yet still Alhumdulillah marriages are taking place where both parties are happy and satisfied. It's just that with the technology of today we focus and spread "news" like this because it's not normal or prevalent in our communities which makes it so much more interesting to read.

lool @ hiring private detectives. How would a private detective know the guy was going to max out her credit cards then run off like a little coward? Jokes aside, that's some scary stuff. I pray that Allah keeps all of us, single or married, away from any major surprises like these.

Assalamu Alaikum
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« Reply #20 on: Oct 13, 2010 08:34 PM »

Wsalam,

I actually think the way we get married now, across states/countries, getting married older etc allows these things to happen more. I mean in the olden days you'd marry someone you and your family knew for generations right Smiley And they'd be right in your community and you'd know almost everything about them on a day to day basis. But now, marrying ppl overseas, or from up north, or a different state, we don't know much about their past, their character or anything else. I think this allows people to "abuse the system" and hide their past and get away with doing stuff like this to women. They just run away to somewhere else and do the same thing and no one knows.

Quote
How would a private detective know the guy was going to max out her credit cards then run off like a little coward?

He would have found out the guy was bankrupt and in debt despite his flashy car and suit and whatever else.
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« Reply #21 on: Oct 13, 2010 10:24 PM »

salaam

That is so true Jannah. There are many men who marry when they come here and who already have wives back home. None of the wives end up knowing till later or sometimes never because noone wants to be the one telling.

Again that is so true Jannah. I wish people would marry more in their community and not be so picky. I think that is the safest solution
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« Reply #22 on: Oct 13, 2010 10:47 PM »

salam


Really you think it's the fault of the women for being picky and wanting the best?

Nobody here thinks the men are at fault for having no honesty or integrity of character???


People keep asking me if I'll marry again, I joke that if a guy with wings a halo and references from god turns up I'll consider it....right now, that is actually rapidly becoming a serious requirement.


There are some scary folk out there, I blame the parents.....




Wassalaaam

And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
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« Reply #23 on: Oct 14, 2010 02:08 AM »

I personally know a married guy who lives in California,but also has a clandestine wife here in India.Apparently he's some rich businessman and this girl married him for the money and he uses her just for some holiday delight.Problem is she had a daughter a couple of years ago and hence wants him to be a proper husband.
I wonder if that kid will ever get a proper upbringing..with stupid parents,I highly doubt it.
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« Reply #24 on: Oct 14, 2010 06:30 AM »

Asalaamu Alaikum bro

Quote
What it looks like is that he has made marriage a complete joke


Indeed, this story together with the one posted below highlights the fact that the institution of marriage comes along with it roles and responsibilities and not just some temporary convenience which can be set aside whenever one wants to.


All these crazy stories above (I mean, seriously, does this stuff happen Huh?) just goes to show we do not really understand our religion well enough and, if so, we should be more concerned about learning our deen before going out and trying to practice it.


On the flip side, however, there are no doubt many marriages where none of this wacky stuff occurs but unfortunately we won’t read about them because good news is not exactly ‘newsworthy’.


It is far too easy to get depressed when we see the news but we need to balance it with the fact it is the minority that generally gets the publicity and as such there is no doubt a skew on reality.







Unable to get family visas, expats go for second wives


JEDDAH: An increasing number of expatriates in the Kingdom unable to bring their wives into the country because they are classed as “ineligible” for family visas are taking second wives.

According to Ulfat, who works as a matchmaker in the expatriate community, many Indian, Pakistani, Indonesian and Bangladeshi expatriates who do low-level jobs and are banned from bringing their families into Saudi Arabia, wish to marry Indonesian women who work as housemaids or are overstayers on Umrah visas.

Sadly, a lot of these men divorce their second wives when it is time for them to return to their home countries. “Indonesian women are seen as the least demanding of expatriate women in the Kingdom, while Pakistani or Indian women will put some conditions,” said Ulfat.
 
In most cases, Indonesian women who are maids or Umrah visa overstayers forfeit all their rights, so a husband doesn’t even need to provide a home for them. They’ll just visit their husbands on their day off.”


According to Ulfat, most Indonesian women who marry laborers are aware of their husbands’ intention to divorce them when they go back home for good.

“Soon after the divorce they remarry,” said Ulfat. “This is their way of surviving until it is time for them to return to Indonesia, as they too stay for several years. Some of them have no way but to abandon their babies when they are divorced.”

Ulfat added that Indonesian women who marry Indonesian men usually do not divorce and they go back to their country together.

“Marriages between expatriate men and overstaying women or maids are normally not legalized in Saudi courts because the couples cannot produce authentic documents,” explained Ulfat.

“Instead, they use the service of unregistered religious scholars from their communities to solemnize the wedding ceremony,” she added.

Pakistani expatriate Hatim, who works as a driver, told Arab News that he remarried because there was no way for him to bring his wife from Pakistan.

“I am going to be working in Saudi Arabia for years to come, so I decided to marry a Pakistani girl here. I will take my second wife back to Pakistan when I leave the Kingdom for good.”


http://arabnews.com/saudiarabia/article158992.ece

Say: "O ye my servants who believe! Fear your Lord, good is (the reward) for those who do good in this world. Spacious is God's earth! those who patiently persevere will truly receive a reward without measure!" [39:10]
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