salam alaikum sis,
First off as muslims we are suppose to strive to better ourselves, none of us are perfect, we are opposite of that. If getting to jannah was based on good deeds, one would never enter it even if he never committed a single sin. Hijab is mandatory for muslim women, there is no difference of opinion on the issue. its 100 percent agreed upon. Islam is in the hearts yes not on what you wear wether its hijab or growing a beard. But at the same time we have guidlines and laws we must follow even if islam is in our hearts. For women that is hijab, there is a few ayahs in quran relating to this and many hadith as well. as a muslim you shouldnt be thinking of taking it off, as that is counter productive and openly disobeying Allah. as muslims we need to better ourselves everyday, For some women hijab is hard and difficult, in that case take your time because Allah knows whats in your heart and your struggles to please him. You should be trying to wear it, and if you cant wear it everyday then wear it somedays. because maybe Allah will put love in your heart for it. Also the scholars say if a girl who hits puberty and doesnt put on hijab her parents can force her to wear it, as well as husbands and ext.... im not sure if there is a difference of opinion on that but that is the one i know. We also must be proud we are muslims, because everything we do is dawah, and islamic awareness actually brings people to islam. How will people come to this religion if they dont see it. maybe someone seen you with hijab and that made them read about islam just from seeign you, then a year later they become muslim, you will not know but you will recieve every good deed that person does for help bring them to islam, even if it was you bringing a simple thought to there mind such as maybe i should read about islam. On the day of judgement this will happen. and Allah says in quran, Maybe there is something you dislike and it is good for you and somethign you like that is bad for you and Allah knows best and you do not. Also dont be upset if people look down on you for not wearing it. there is a principle of fiqh in islam and that is we judge muslims based on how we see them and we leave the hearts for Allah. and after 8 years of wearing it to take it off is a huge backtrack. Because once you appear as a non muslim you act like them, and i can testify this myself when i shaved my beard once i lost all my iman and i dressed in designer clothes and all of that, aall because i did one thing most muslims see as insignificant. And remember hellfire is surrounded by desires and ease, and jannah is surrounded by hardships and trials. just remember hijab is fard, there is no difference of opinion, pray 2 rakahs, ask Allah to put love for it in your heart and he will. Hamzah bin abdul Muttalib when he said i am of my nephews religion(muhammad) lied. he wasnt a muslim, but that night he asked allah if this is the truth make me love it, if its falsehood find a way out for me, and that is when he took his shahadah. so ask Allah to make you love it and you will. And its good even if you did it for your husband, because he saved you from things you might not know and sin you might of falling into. and the sin you get for disobeyying the ayah of quran. And for guys hijab is a big deal, i know i wouldnt want to marry a sis who doesnt wear it, because in essence, if she cant follow the most simplest command of a muslim women, how will she follow the hard and coomplicated and normal things. hijab once again is mandatory for you, as your last post seems to say why why why. We dont follow logic as muslims we follow the quran and hadith, we obey it as much as we can. Because Allah says in the quran "Obey me as much as you can".
“And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what must ordinarily appear therof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands’ fathers, their sons, their husbands’ sons, their brothers, or their brothers’ sons or their sisters’ sons, or their women or the servants whom their right hands possess, or male servants free of physical needs, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex, and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And O you Believers, turn you all together towards Allah, that you may attain Bliss.” (Quran 24:31).
“O Prophet, tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks close round them (when they go abroad). That will be better, so that they may be recognised and not annoyed. Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful.” (Quran 33:59)
“O you Children of Adam! We have bestowed on you raiment to cover your shame as well as to be an adornment to you. But the raiment of righteousness, that is the best. Such are among the Signs of Allah, that they may receive admonition.” (Quran 7:26)
These are the verses on hijab, remember when you read them it doesnt say straight out, hijab is fard wear it. But you must understand the tafsir of the ayah. your question on why cant i be modest and show my hair. well for one you can still be modest there is no doubt on that. but you also will be disobeying Allah, when you pray or go to the masjid you are suppose to cover your head, why because thats the requirements in islam. there is no need to question hijab. You do not want to be one of these muslim sisters who say i dont have to wear it islam is in my heart. Because in islam there is sharia, we must follow it even if islam is in are hearts, praying is sharia, fastign is sharia, everything is sharia it doesnt means just islamic law. if you dont want to wear the hijab than thats your choice, but dont say its not required, because then you will be changing the religion of islam with your hands, and you will be going against the consensus of not only the scholars but the sahabah and tabieen who r the ones who explained the meanings of quran to us. Just like praying is an obligation so is wearing the hijab. Also it is a source of honor. you should be proud you wear at, as there is nothing more precious than the muslim woman, but how will we know your muslim if you dont wear it, how will we say salam to you outside. Also its not wrong for you to feel you can still be modest without it. thats normal. but we dont follow our desires or are wants, we follow islam the best we can, if your not ready for hijab then make dua, take your time, everyone at one time loses there iman or is not religious and has struggles so who is anyone to judge. but just know this is somthign required on a muslim women. do your best to wear it and not take it off and may Allah make your path easy and keep you upon the haqq inshallah