I was very very lucky, I went to the police near the end, and I also had eye witnesses to the bruises on my body (one being a white girl who I worked with, I feel her race was significant in giving my testimony credibility).
I had a fact finding hearing, where ex's barrister tried to make out I was lying as I had not told anyone about it, my barrister immediately dismissed this as it's well known that women suffering from domestic violence do not tell anyone, they hide it, they are ashamed, it takes a long long time before a woman leaves a violent relationship, this is why two women a week die from DV (or something insanely high like that).
I had to fight tooth and nail to prevent my girls being handed over to ex for unsupervised contact, each time I go to court I pray and make dua that Allah be the judge, he gave me my children, now he protect us.
Alhumdulillah I have found whenever I put all my faith in Allah, it always works out for the best.
In my experience, the women going thro court cases are too timid and polite to say the truth out loud. My experience in court is that unless you say it categorically you are ignored, ex tried to make out I had a forced marriage, as that is the popular bogeyman of Islamic marriages, I looked ex's barrister in the face drew myself up to my full height of 5 foot (almost nothing), and asked in the most contemptuous tones I could muster, 'do I look like someone who would have been forced into a marriage? My father is sitting behind you, he is supporting me thro this ordeal, do you think he would then have forced me into marriage?
'. The Barrister could not look me in the eye.
Actually this stance of ex really lit a fire under me, he was trying to malign my religion, and you don't do that, anyone who knows me knows you do not abuse my faith, that was the only time I really lost my temper, otherwise, I'm used to ex being abusive to me.
The weird thing is, I got the feeling that ex's barrister was ashamed to be cross examining me, he clearly believed me, and that day defending the indefensible he was selling his soul for the price of his fee.
The British court system is awful, it is inherently biased against women and children, and I really really want to help the women going thro this.
I am frequently shocked at the lack of knowledge the women have regarding their legal rights, and what they can do, and their lack of realisation as to the credence placed on for example CAFCASS reports and social service reports, and even letters from teachers and GP's, these can all help you solidify your postion. If your GP has noticed your constantly ill, if the teachers at your child's school have noticed the child's behaviour has become erratic or suddenly changed they can all help you in court. A lot of women don't know that.
A lot of women also have this insane mantra going where they murmur slightly hysterically, but he's a wonderful father, my children love him, I don't want my children growing up without a father.
Anyone going thro this should realise that a man who hurts the mother of his children is NOT a good father, not at all.
And kids IMHO are very resilient, and who knows what Allah has in store for you, your children may yet benefit from a positive father figure in their lives.
When I had left ex, I remember my eldest watching this man playing with his kids, he was carrying his child on his shoulders and the child was laughing.... I was watching Fatima's face, and I suddenly asked her, 'Sweetheart do you miss daddy, do you want us all to be together again?' And I swear to God, had she said so I would have begged him to come back and apologised and done whatever it took. My four
year old looked me in the eye and told me ' I want a daddy, a nice daddy...not that one (meaning ex)' That day I felt my heart would burst from grief for my baby.