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Author Topic: Sisters not returning Salaams  (Read 3167 times)
Blessedgrandma
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« on: Jun 02, 2011 09:58 PM »


I am trying not to take it personal but when I see other sisters in town most nevber return the greeting
when I say Salaam Allaikum, I imagine it's because I am not wearing a scarf and there are very few Muslims in
my community.  Sad
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« Reply #1 on: Jun 02, 2011 10:08 PM »

salam


Hey long time, nice to see you.

Could they be just nervous or shy?

I'm really shy and I do tend to say salaam but can't keep eye contact long enough to acknowledge a reply.

Make eye contact & smile warmly at the same time as saying salam?


Other than that keep at it & don't take it to heart, I read somewhere that when you say salaam & the other person doesn't reply, an angel replies instead. Since reading that I don't mind so much.




Wassalaam

And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
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« Reply #2 on: Jun 02, 2011 10:55 PM »

If I decide to say 'Asalaam Alaikum' to either a sister or brother (which is often), I make eye contact, even when I am on the move. Some respond and some don't. If there is no response, it doesn't really bother me. I am not a hijabi but I wear scarfs.

I have had non-Muslims say 'Asalaam Alaikum' to me because they recognize me as Muslim, mostly in Kenya.

May humble advise to you is that you continue your 'Asalaam Alaikum' whether you get a response or not. In your heart, you know that you have performed your Islamic duty.

Good to see you "around" every once in a while!!!

The Almighty Allah says,

"When a servant thinks of Me, I am near.
When he invokes Me, I am with him.
If he reflects on Me in secret, I reply in secret,
And if he acknowledges Me in an assembly,
I acknowledge him in a far superior assembly."

- Prophet Muhammad (SAW), as reptd by Abu Huraira
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« Reply #3 on: Jun 03, 2011 12:57 AM »

wsalam,

Just came back from the mall where I saw at least 6 hijabi sisters!! I can't believe I saw so many and I didn't know any of them except one. Our community sure has changed! So the first one hurried away to the mall exit after glancing at me. Another one just stared at us from far. The other one's husband with his baby at the play area just looked at us and then his wife came. I said "Salam!" all friendly like to her and she said "walaikumssalam" and turned away. Another one just gave the Muslim nod. An auntie one just gave me a once over and a dirty look. Wink and the last one that I knew didn't even acknowledge me at all! It's kinda frustrating but I guess the days where you saw a fellow Muslim even if a stranger u would actually talk to them for at least a salams, where u from etc. just not there anymore Sad So don't worry sister blessedgrandma, it happens to all of us unfortunately!!!!
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« Reply #4 on: Jun 03, 2011 06:50 AM »

Thank you sisters for your kind words and encouragement.
I did have a sister in the grocery store the other day, when I greeted her, her face lit up, she smile and
returned the greeting but most look at me funny. Maybe it's my graying hair, middle aged American no scarf look  Cheesy
Its just my heart feels happy when I see another sister and kind of feel sad when they don't return salaams.
But will continue to do so, that one sister that lit up and smiled made my heart happy.
Silly as it may sound when I see a sister my heart feels like I am seeing a friend. I'm weird lol   Grin
I don't speak to brothers, just don't feel comfortable talking to men.
Its kind of comical to see non Muslim men reactions when I won't shake hands.
I simply say. 'please do not get offended, I just don't shake hands with men.'
Usually I try to make sure my hands are full with something  Smiley
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« Reply #5 on: Jun 03, 2011 10:27 AM »

Interesting.  I notice women here in Saudi Arabia... they say their "Assalaamu Alaikum" in a loud, clear voice, as soon as they enter a masjid, waiting room, a restaurant, a queue.  And it compels you to reply.  I was really shy with the salaams when I moved here (especially since in Pakistan NO ONE says salaam... it's fashionable to say "hi" and it took some getting used to after there moving from Toronto), so I would kind of mumble a "assalaamu alaikum", and no one would respond, they would just stare at me from their niqaabified vantages, which made me even more uncomfortable (apologies to niqaabi sisters). It takes some practice, but saying it in an audible and clear voice - without the expectation of a reply - is the only way to do it.

wasalaam.
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« Reply #6 on: Jun 05, 2011 08:26 PM »

salaam

from what I know, it is an obligation to answer a salaam
repeat it two more times if they don't the first time after that its on them
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« Reply #7 on: Jun 24, 2011 04:56 AM »

Was at Safeway today and when I saw a sister and her husband I said Salaams and it was returned.
My heart was filled with joy. Funny how a few simple words can make a sister smile or another sisters heart happy.
It just makes you feel like you're not alone. It is also making me more yearning to wear a scarf. Sad purplehijabisis
(deep sigh) I can't blame other sisters, what they see is an older graying haired blue jeans and blouse with sneakers (or boots) grandma, they have no idea I'm a sister. And in our community I imagine many are shy and reserved.
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« Reply #8 on: Jun 26, 2011 07:23 PM »

You give salam to people you don't know when you walk past them?
Wow.
It is a good thing you don't live here than, you'd have to say it to every other person you walk past. Or worse still a busy Muslim area like towerhamlets, be continually saying asalam alakum without stopping to breath.

I wouldn't take it to heart, if they don't know you, they probably just thought you were saying it to someone else.
I don't think the way you look has anything to do with it.
If it was they would have responded to your salam with another greeting, or a smile.

Sometimes people feel uneasy speaking to people they don't know and have never met.
They are not used to being given a greeting by someone they don't recognise and is just walking past.
Often they are too busy going about their business to even notice.

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« Reply #9 on: Jun 27, 2011 10:28 AM »

salam



I say salaams to Sr's, yes sometimes it is a constant stream of salaam and smile, I have it returned or profferred first many many times too, but so what, it;s hardly a chore.




Wassalaam

And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
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« Reply #10 on: Jul 05, 2011 10:45 PM »

Was at Safeway today and when I saw a sister and her husband I said Salaams and it was returned.
My heart was filled with joy. Funny how a few simple words can make a sister smile or another sisters heart happy.
It just makes you feel like you're not alone. It is also making me more yearning to wear a scarf. Sad purplehijabisis
(deep sigh) I can't blame other sisters, what they see is an older graying haired blue jeans and blouse with sneakers (or boots) grandma, they have no idea I'm a sister. And in our community I imagine many are shy and reserved.

That's cute sister Smiley Yes I think the Muslim demographic is really changing! I've met so many ppl who "I wouldn't have thought" are Muslim, and even second generation kids that are really interesting combinations, so alhamdulillah !! Wink
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« Reply #11 on: Feb 07, 2013 09:19 PM »

I get A LOT of this where I live in Bolton, UK.
British born, non-hijabi sisters generally ignore me cos I'm a hijabi sister (and proud of it!) and many of them see hijab's as being repressive as that's what their non Muslim friends have told them.
Sisters born overseas (generally Desi-land) either ignore me, just respond with either "Walikum" (no Salam) "Hello" or "Hi" or just look at me as if being on the same street as me means that they are then required to take a shower, because I'm SHOCK!!!! HORROR!!!! a reverted WHITE sister... so obviously I'm not a 'REAL' Muslim.
Brothers born here just ignore me as good brothers should, unless they are my friend's husbands or my husband's friends; in which case it's responded to with either an invitation for me to go to their house for dinner (my friend's husbands) or them inviting themselves to dinner (husband's friends)
Brother's born generally in Desi-land take a simple "Salam" (usually said by them) to be a direct proposal of marriage, even when my husband is RIGHT NEXT TO ME looking at them trying to work out the politest way to remind them that I am NOT for them, just because I'm white. (Unless they are husband's friends or friend's husbands, in which case same rule about as above about dinner invites applies).
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« Reply #12 on: Feb 07, 2013 09:47 PM »

Weird! I guess I look like an 'authentic' Muslim in that my features look rather Arab (even though I'm not) and whenever I say Salam  I get huge smiles and salams all over the place, especially in airports.

The only people that don't say Salam to me are creepy non religious Arab dudes who look horrified to see me - I stand for everything they're  trying to forget or reject.
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