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jannah
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« on: Jun 09, 2011 03:35 AM »


This came on our TV today. REally quite funny. I was told by married women "no husband does all these things! (unfortunately)" so bros u can prove them wrong!!




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« Reply #1 on: Jun 09, 2011 11:24 AM »

some brothers are desperately in need to see this video!! why don't we start a thread where sisters could tell  exactly what they want most from their husbands (words, actions etc) and brothers can tell what they want most from their wives. For me I want attention and
 kind words....loads of it from my husband!
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BrKhalid
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« Reply #2 on: Jun 09, 2011 03:26 PM »

Asalaamu Alaikum bro

Not sure about the 'fragile whistles' (Huh?) in the subtitles but definitely some good points here with #12, #31 and #49 being noteworthy.
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« Reply #3 on: Jun 09, 2011 05:59 PM »

salam



some brothers are desperately in need to see this video!! why don't we start a thread where sisters could tell  exactly what they want most from their husbands (words, actions etc) and brothers can tell what they want most from their wives. For me I want attention and
 kind words....loads of it from my husband!


A guy who never ever asks 'What did you do all day?' when he comes home from work, especially if you are at home with young children all day....





Wassalaam
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And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
akhan
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« Reply #4 on: Jun 09, 2011 06:23 PM »

Nothing for the men? Wink
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jannah
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« Reply #5 on: Jun 09, 2011 08:17 PM »

Nothing for the men? Wink

i found one but i personally found it kind of weird. maybe i'll post it and the mens can see if it's true or not!!
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jannah
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« Reply #6 on: Jun 10, 2011 08:04 PM »

wsalam,

ok i finally watched all of these. on tv they only had the first 15. i think they're very cute and i liked them as reminders to both men and women. the best marriages i've seen have so many of these qualities mashaAllah. may Allah allow us to have such marriages full of love, tranquillity and following the sunnah.

the one's i esp liked;  #5 #16 and #55 and yes #31 very sweet

#33 is actually very profound


ps 'fragile whistles' is actually wrongly subtitled, he's saying 'fragile vessels' ie rifq al-qawareer meaning like something glass, delicate and breakable
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akhan
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« Reply #7 on: Jun 14, 2011 11:50 AM »

Pyaar Ka Punchnama - The best scene!
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jannah
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« Reply #8 on: Jun 18, 2011 05:03 PM »

wsalam,

bro i seriously hope ur not takin lessons on relationships from bollywood!! that said, i think i remember writing a 10 lessons u learn from bollywood post a long time ago  Cheesy hmmm i think they were like 1. don't get married angry 2. don't run around fields unless u want it to rain and fall in love ... etc Wink
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Fozia
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« Reply #9 on: Jun 18, 2011 06:50 PM »

salam


Don't dance around in fields unless you want tick bites & get chased by cows....& yeah get rained on. The Bollywood way is not romantic at all.

Unless you're nuts!


Wassalaam
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And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
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« Reply #10 on: Jun 18, 2011 06:59 PM »

ok ok, I get it, I am not mad, I posted it coz I thought it's funny. And FYI, I don't really watch bollywood movies, or any kind of movies for that matter except for maybe one or two a year.
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BrKhalid
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« Reply #11 on: Jun 19, 2011 01:23 AM »

Asalaamu Alaikum bro

So in essence life is far from Hollywood or Bollywood but more like Tiger Woods!!

Please let the Sheriff know, I think I'm moving off to Sherwood Wink
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Say: "O ye my servants who believe! Fear your Lord, good is (the reward) for those who do good in this world. Spacious is God's earth! those who patiently persevere will truly receive a reward without measure!" [39:10]
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« Reply #12 on: Jun 20, 2011 07:10 AM »

Very helpful one. My friend who watched it remarked one has to be angel to have it all...

Nevertheless, my better half is reminding me every other day to watch it completely...  Smiley
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jannah
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« Reply #13 on: Jun 20, 2011 07:24 AM »

My friend who watched it remarked one has to be angel to have it all...

ws,

hey hey it goes both ways u know! much of the advice can be applied for both the husband and wife as an ideal to work on... and mA on ur wife reminding u lol u should watch it together then!

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Jaihoon
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« Reply #14 on: Jun 20, 2011 07:28 AM »

My friend who watched it remarked one has to be angel to have it all...

 lol u should watch it together then!


NO way... that's even more dangerous  Grin
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moderatesufi
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« Reply #15 on: Jul 09, 2011 08:25 PM »

astagfillah, this is so insulting?
Did anyone else notice it?
He is speaking, and what he says is subtitled in English!
I think his English is completely comprehensible.


It was sort of like this:
Subtitled Arab



Anyway I didn't watch it all. It is an hour long, so I stopped it when I noticed he was speaking English and saw it was subtitled in English.
Something else, he uses quite a bit of Arabic and that isn't translated as subtitles?
Why?
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jannah
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« Reply #16 on: Jul 10, 2011 08:09 AM »

Didn't find that video you posted very funny. And they subtitled it because the shaikh is speaking with a heavy arabic accent. Not everyone is able to decrypt accents like Muslims who are used to speakers with many different kinds of heavy accents.

If you don't like the subtitles click on CC they turn off.

I find it interesting that you turned this off as soon as you saw subtitles and thought it was too long to watch, yet had the time to respond line by line to every of the 60 things mentioned for wives. Again let's note that this video is by a learned Shaikh who presents things in detail with quran and sunnah, and the other list is a compilation that offends more than teaches by a bunch of random ppl.

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Jaihoon
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« Reply #17 on: Jul 10, 2011 08:27 AM »

Are we shifting focus from the topic to the ones who are posting?  Huh?

I and my family and relatives have immensely benefited from the 60 Ways video posted here. And it has to be viewed by even the to-be married guys. Prevention better than cure  Wink
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moderatesufi
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« Reply #18 on: Jul 10, 2011 10:13 AM »

I really don't think his accent is heavy. I actually think the Shaikh is speaking very clearly. What I find hard to understand is American accents, because they are all very irritating. As well as being irritating it is very annoying when they use strange slang words.

 

I'm listening to it. 
But with all due respect to the Shaikh and his knowledge, I think married sisters would be better qualified to answer what actions of their husbands increase their love?

But what he is saying is all useful Islamic knowledge.
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Riat8883
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« Reply #19 on: May 14, 2013 11:42 AM »

Salaam

I got this in my mail today. I don't know if its the same as the video.

60 Islamic ways to get and keep your Wife's Love

1. Make her feel secure; (sakina- tranquillity) QUIT BEING AGGRESSIVE

2. When you go home say 'Assalamualaikum. ' (Greetings) It kicks the shaitaan out of your home!

3. Prophet (pbuh) described the wife as a fragile vessel and said to take care of this vessel that s fragile. 'Remember that there is goodness in this vessel so treat it gently.'

4. When you advise her, do so in privacy, in a peaceful environment. NOT IN PUBLIC as it s a type of slandering.

5. Be generous to your wife- it keeps her LOVED

6. Move and let her have your seat. It will warm her heart.

7. AVOID ANGER. HOW? Keep your Wudu at all times. Prophet (pbuh) said if you are angry, sit down, if you re sitting, then lay down. Follow the Sunnah!

8. Look good and smell great for your wife. It keeps the LOVE!

9. Don t be rigid. It will break you. Prophet Mohammed (pbuh.) said 'I am the best amongst you and I am the best to my wife'. Being rigid and harsh will not bring you close to Allah and neither does it make you more of a man.

10. Listen to your wife-BE a GOOD LISTENER

11. YES to flattering NO to arguing. Arguing is like poison in a marriage. Al zawai said 'When Allah (swt) wants evil for people He will leave them to argue amongst themselves'.

12. Prophet (pbuh) said to call your wives with the best name, any name she loves to hear. Prophet Mohammed (pbuh) called Aisha 'ya Aish' as an endearment.

13. Give her a pleasant surprise. I.e. if she loves watermelon, bring her one out of the blue. It will grow the love in her heart.

14. Preserve your tongue! Prophet (pbuh) said the tongue will throw people in the hell fire so watch what you say and how you say it!

15. All of us have shortcoming. Accept her shortcoming and Allah (swt) will put barakat in your marriage.

16. TELL her you appreciate her. SHOW her you appreciate her.

17 Encourage her to keep good relation with her relative, her mom and dad etc.

18. Speak with her with a topic of HER interest.

19. In front of her relative praise her. Confirm/ realize that she is wonderful, and that she is a good person in front of her family.

20. Give each other gifts. You will love each other more. Prophet (pbuh) said gifts increases love.

21. Get rid of the routine once in a while, surprise her with something, it will get rid of the rust and polish it!

22. Husnul zaan- We have a demand from Allah (swt) that we have to think good of people. Think good of your spouse.

23. Ignore some of her mistakes- pretend you did not see/hear some of her small mistakes. It was a practice of Ali (RA). It s like putting a hole in your memory. Don t save it in your memory!

24. Increase the drops of patience, especially when she is pregnant or when she is on her monthly period.

25. Expect and respect her jealousy. Even Aisha (ra) used to get jealous.

26. Be humble. If your profession is good, respect that she is looking after your children, she is much more than you, she is the leader at home, her strength is your strength, and her success is your success.

27. Don't put your friends above your wife.

28. Help your wife at home. Prophet(pbuh) used to help his wives at home and he was the best of creation. He used to sew his own clothes.

29. Help her respect your parents, you can t force her to love them, but she can be helped to gradually love them.

30. Show your wife she is the ideal wife.

31. Remember your wife in your duaas. It will increase the love and protect it.

32. Leave the past. It brings nothing but pain and grief. It s not your business. The past is for Allah (swt).

33. Don't try to show her that you are doing her a favour by doing something, like buying food for the house, because in reality we are the courier of sustenance, not the providers, as Allah is the provider. It s also a way of being humble and thankful to Allah (swt)

34. Shaitaan is your enemy, not your wife. Sometime when husband and wife are talking a fight breaks out, then shaitaan is present there as a third person so he is the real enemy. It is not enough to hate the shaitaan, but you have to see him as an enemy as Allah has commanded. Shaitaan loves divorce. HE comes everyday and sits office and asks the devils what they have done, some say i have made a person steal, or i have made someone drink etc. And one devil will say i have made a man divorce his wife, and he is crowned as the one who has done the best job.

35. Take the food and put it in her mouth. Prophet (pbuh) taught us this. It s a blessing. The food doesn t just go to her stomach, but straight to her heart. It increases the love and mercy between you.

36. Protect your wife from the evil of the shaitaan and mankind. She is like a precious pearl that needs protecting from the envy of human devils and shaitaan.

37. Show her your smile. Smile at your wife. It's a CHARITY!!!

38. Small problems/ challenges can become a big problem. Or if there is small thing she didn't like and you keep repeating them anyway, it will create a wall between you. Don t ignore them as it can become big.

39. Avoid being harsh hearted and moody. Allah said of prophet (pbuh) 'if you were harsh hearted they (the companions) would have left you.' It confirms prophet (pbuh) was not harsh hearted, so GET RID OF IT.

40. Respect her thinking. It s strength for you. Show you like her thoughts and suggestions.

41. Help her to achieve her potential and help her to dig and find success within as her success is your success.

42. Respect the intimate relationship and its boundaries. Prophet (pbuh) said she is like a fragile vessel and she needs to be treated tenderly. Sometime she may not be feeling well; you must respect and appreciate that feeling.

43. Help her to take care of the children. Some men think it makes them appear less of a man but in fact it makes you appear a bigger man and more respected, especially in the sight of Allah (swt).

44. Use the gifts of the tongue and sweet talk her. Tell her she looks great, be an artist Pick and choose gifts of the tongue.

45. Sit down and eat with her and share food with her.

46. Let her know you are travelling. Don't tell her out of the blue as it s against Islam. Tell her the date/ time of when you are coming back also.

47. Don't leave the house as soon as trouble brews.

48. The house has privacy and secrecy. Once you take this privacy and secrecy to your friends and family you are in danger of putting a serious hole in your marriage. This secrecy stays home. Islam is against leaving them out like a garage sale for anyone to come and pick and choose.

49. Encourage each other for ibadah, i.e. plan a trip for hajj or umrah together. It increases and strengthens the love when you help each other perform a good deeds together i.e, do tahajuud together,or go to a dars together etc.

50. Know her rights, not only written in paper but engraved in your heart and engraved in your conscious.

51. Allah( swt) said 'live with your wives in kindness.' Treat them with kindness and goodness. It means in happy times and in sadness treat her with goodness and fairness.

52. Prophet (pbuh) showed that at the time of intimacy. Don t jump on your wife like an animal!

53. When you have a dispute with your wife don t tell everyone. It s like leaving your wounds open to germs so be careful who you share your problems and disputes with.

54. Show your wife you really care for her health. Good health of your wife is your good health. To care for her health shows her that you love her.

55. Don t think you are always right. No matter how good you are you have shortcomings. You are not perfect as the only one who was perfect in character was Prophet (pbuh) Get rid of this disease.

56. Share your problems, your happiness, and your sadness with her.

57. Have mercy on her weakness. Have mercy when she is weak or strong as she is the fragile vessel. Prophet (pbuh) said that your wife is a trust in your hand.

58. Remember you are her strength, someone to lean on in times of hardship.

59. Accept her as she is. Prophet (pbuh) said that women are created from the rib which is bent. If you try to straighten her you will break her (divorce). Prophet (pbuh) said that you may dislike one habit in her but you will like another manner in her so accept her as she is.

60. Have good intention for your wife all the time, Allah monitors your intention and your heart at all times.

Allah (s.w.t) said Among His Signs is that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect
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jannah
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« Reply #20 on: May 14, 2013 05:24 PM »

Salam,

This is like the Madina's favorite thread Wink

Actually I think it's all the wives or heck all wommins favorite thread!!!  loveshower

Updated the video link and yup sis Riat I think those are the one's!!
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sadah
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Dont be sad...


« Reply #21 on: May 15, 2013 06:18 PM »

Wow 60 seems way too many....  Shocked

I mean too many to read now because I will definitely forget most of them..  Grin

May be I should bookmark the thread to watch/read when I am due for marriage..  Wink
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« Reply #22 on: May 16, 2013 02:12 AM »

My cousin's wife doesn't even let him eat ice cream alone. We went out last night and it was his first time in months because she went to her mother's. She wants to be involved in every single thing he does. Is that right? Is everyone like that? Is it worth doing the 60 things with a wife who's so insecure? I thought marriage would be decent and since last night, it's giving me the creeps. Zero cave/buddy/cousin time? I can't bear that.

If a husband doesn't let his wife go out with her friends etc, he's oppressive. Now if the wife does it, what's that called?
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jannah
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« Reply #23 on: May 16, 2013 03:52 AM »

Salam,

lol Akhan things are never that easy... usually if the husband or wife is clingy or doesn't want the spouse to go out there's probably issues going on. Like could be resentment that he doesn't spend any time with her or that she's very insecure about things or that she never gets to go out and eat ice cream so now is her chance lol!!  icecream U really don't know, every relationship is very complex.

sadah bro memorize those 60!! I guarantee u'll have a happy wife= happy life Wink
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sadah
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Dont be sad...


« Reply #24 on: May 16, 2013 04:33 AM »

Salam,

sadah bro memorize those 60!! I guarantee u'll have a happy wife= happy life Wink


You sound earnest sister, guess you are giving me your word on that  Huh? I will surely memorize them then..  Smiley

But hold on a second, did I hear you say
Quote
U really don't know, every relationship is very complex
Huh??

Now I am little bit worried. If I will ever find myself in Akhan's cousin's situation, I am afraid... What would I even do? All I know is I wont be able to bear it  Grin
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