// Help want to convert but...
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« on: Mar 01, 2008 08:46 PM »

Assalaam Alaikum,

I want to convert to Islam but don't know what is expected of me as a woman. I would like
 some information and guidence or just some advice.

I have read we are equal to men and according to different cultures the styles of dress
 are different. But I'm confused because where I am from a woman walks behind the man, the
 woman can not speak to a man, and a woman must drop there gaze at men. I have no problem
 with the last one however I have male friends and I don't know if I want to walk behind
 my one day husband. I need some guidence and help. I do belienve Allah is the one true and
 only GOD!!!

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Ya Muqallib Al-Quloob thabbit quloobana ala deenik

« Reply #1 on: Mar 02, 2008 04:10 PM »

Well, I've never walked behind my husband (unless he's walking too fast), nor learned that only women lower the gaze (modesty and any actions, good/bad, are equally judged by God, with only superficial differences between the two genders. Spiritually, men and women are equal). Where are you from?
Just read the Qur'an. A good translation. That's what you need to start with. If you believe it's a book that could only have been written by God, you're heart is already Muslim. Your intellect then has to be convinced by other basics, like the prophets and the way Prophet Muhammad lived the Qur'an, the Holy Books, the angels, Day of Judgement, Heaven/Hell, Divine Will, etc. But you really have to read and learn about them from authentic sources. And ask questions whenever you have them. Then your body/actions can attest to the truth of God's will, by praying to Him in the way of the Prophets, helping others, etc.
But to answer your question, Islam puts women on a higher level than any other religion I know. It's a holistic religion that is sometimes wrongfully practiced, depending on the culture you're in. It's a lot easier to remove some cultural baggage if you can that goes against its teacings (like how women have rights they didn't have to have a suffrage movement for from the Quran 1400+ years ago, but some countries are too slow to implement them). Not sure what else to say there since I don't know where you are, but it's pretty easy to live as a Muslimah in the US, alhamdulillah. But God runs to those who seek Him, so keep seeking the truth!
-sofia   purplehijabisis

"My Lord! Increase me in knowledge." (Qur'aan 20.114)
"Our Lord! We believe, so forgive us, and have mercy on us, for You are the Best of all who show mercy!" (23:109)
"And hold fast, all together, by the rope which Allah (stretches out for you), and be not divided among yourselves..."(3:10)
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Oh Allah, Guide us to the Straight Path.

« Reply #2 on: Mar 18, 2008 10:17 PM »

Peace be on the followers of guidance,

Dear seeker of truth,

I am so happy to hear that you have come to learn about the true religion, the truth by which you will attain eternal success in the Afterlife, insha Allah.  May Allah guide you and make you firm on the religion of truth.  You are only a few short steps away from erasing all your past sins and coming to the Light of Allah.  Let me address your concerns one by one:

"But I'm confused because where I am from a woman walks behind the man,"

Islam honors women, and gives them a distinction even men do not have:  Allah named an entire Chapter in the Quran:  The Women (Surah 4), which details her rights and responsibilites in society.

In Islam, women are not treated like sex-objects that every man enjoys.

In Islam, women are entitled to full protection and financial support by their husbands, who must not cheat on them.

A man must obey his mother, as long as it does not involve disobeying Allah.

Where a man and woman walk is based on culture.  Islam does not teach that men should walk in front of women.  However, it does teach that one should be devoted to one's spouse and not look at other men and women in the street with desire.

" and a woman must drop there gaze at men."

As sister Sofia mentioned, this ruling is for both men and women.  Islam encourages chastity, purity, and morality, both outwardly, and in one's thoughts and desires.  Thus, it is not right for a man to look at a woman who is not his wife lustfully, or vice-versa.  May Allah make it easy for us to obey Him.

"I have male friends and I don't know if I want to walk behind
 my one day husband"

Do not worry.  InshaAllah Allah will make it easy for you to find a righteous husband who will honor you.  However, in Islam we do not have boyfriends or girlfriends, since this could lead to illicit relationships and sex outside of marriage, adultery,etc.

"I need some guidence and help. I do belienve Allah is the one true and
 only GOD!!!"

All praise be to Allah.  You have done the right thing by seeking the truth.  Now don't hesitate, the only thing left for you is to pronounce your faith:  "I bear witness that there is no god except Allah, and I bear witness that Muhammad (peace be upon him) is His Messenger."

Welcome to the truth Smiley

Shaykh Abdurahman


Be merciful to those on earth, and the One in the Heavens will be merciful to you.
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« Reply #3 on: Mar 19, 2008 09:41 AM »

Hey, Assalam Alaikum.

I think you are already a Muslim when you believe that Allah is the only God. Congrats on finding Peace/Islam.

The next step is simple - approach, learn and practice things one by one inshaAllah. As for your questions, well from my looks many non-muslims would think of me as a wife-beater, yet the reality is that we are very different as an ummah, from what is perceived about us.

My wife walks side by me and likes to hold hands. Now I've been and still am anti pda, but wifey just can't control her habit of holding hands. When no one notices I let her hold, and when there are more people I just take my hand back. But to be honest, now when I see other couples holding hands, i'm not bothered by it.


The knight doesn't wait when he's ill or has cancer brother, the knight fights on... He finds a strategy, changes tactics, and hits hard.
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« Reply #4 on: Mar 20, 2008 01:09 AM »

hmm I dont walk behind my husband..unless he walks to fast , so I hold on to his arm so he cant get away lol ..
men and woman both should lower their gaze
in Islam we are sisters and brothers but we are not allowed to have male or female friends because that can lead to other things..and you can talk to the opposite gender if its something important or business or something and one should definately say salaam to the other but it should be within limit, not talk  like you would to a 'friend'

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