I think it is up to married brothers to say whether they would keep their wives if they behaved like this.
whether they would be positive or negative traits.
1. Behave like a female, i.e. all the tenderness of a female–a man doesn't want a man for his wife!
Yes, men hate it when women behave all manly and macho. Some men might like it, but most of them would be already taken, by guys!
2. Dress pleasantly/attractively. If you are a home-maker, don't stay in your sleeping suit all day.
Again, yes. But with something to add. Just because you find certain clothing attractive, doesn't mean he does. Pleasant and attractive are subjective, so find out what he finds pleasant and attractive and try and dress appropriately.
3. Smell good!
Again, find out what smells he likes. Just because you think it is nice, doesn't mean he does.
4. Don't lay out all your problems on your husband as soon as he walks in. Give him a little mental break.
Yes, but even after the break, try not to nag excessively.
5. Don't keep asking him, "what are you thinking?"
True, and please don't assume you know what he is thinking.
You would get it wrong.
6. Stop nagging non-stop before Allah ta'ala gives you something really to complain about.
7. Absolutely no talking about your spousal problems to anyone you meet, not even under the pretense of seeking help! If you think you want to solve legitimate marital issues, then go seek counseling with the right person who can give advice in either:
Yes to the first bit, no to the second.
Best to be patient.
8. Be kind to your mother-in-law the same way you would like your husband to be kind to your own mother.
Yes, but more so.
9. Learn all the rights and obligations of each other in Islam. Focus on fulfilling your obligations, not demanding your rights
You know what happened in a Madrasa here. They were teaching some Alima students, About rights.
And they all demanded them, and all of their Husbands divorced them!
So now, they make sure they tell the students, you have these rights. Just because you do, it doesn't mean it is farrad on you to demand all of them.
Else he would just go off and marry someone else who doesn't.
10. Race to the door when he comes home, as if you were waiting for him. Smile and hug him.
Wow, not to fast though. it would be embarrassing if you slip and great him with tears instead of a smile.
11. Keep your house clean, at least to the level that he wants it.
Not such a biggy.
12. Compliment him on the things you know he's not so confident about (looks, intelligence, etc.) This will build his self-esteem.
13. Tell him he's the best husband ever.
14. Call his family often.
I think the family stuff isn't applicable to everyone. A lot of women live with their husband's families or very close by after marriage.
15. Give him a simple task to do at home and then thank him when he does it. This will encourage him to do more.
16. When he's talking about something boring, listen and nod your head. Even ask questions to make it seem like you're interested.
Yes,. except it isn't boring. It is just the female mind isn't big enough to comprehend how interesting it is.
17. Encourage him to do good deeds.
18. If he's in a bad mood, give him some space. He'll get over it, inshaAllah.
19. Thank him sincerely for providing you with food and shelter. It's a big deal.
20. If he's angry with you and starts yelling, let him yell it out while you're quiet.You will see your fight will end a lot faster. Then when he's calm, you can tell him your side of the story and how you want him to change something.
21. When you're mad at him, don't say "YOU make me furious", rather, "This action makes me upset". Direct your anger to the action and circumstance rather than at him.
22. Remember that your husband has feelings, so take them into consideration.
23. Let him chill with his friends without guilt, especially if they're good guys.
Encourage him to go out, so he doesn't feel "cooped up" at home.
24. If your husband is annoyed over a little thing you do (and you can control it), then stop doing it. Really
25. Learn how to tell him what you expect without him having to guess all the time. Learn to communicate your feelings.
26. Don't get mad over small things. It's not worth it.
27. Make jokes. If you're not naturally funny, go on the internet and read some jokes, and then tell them to him.
28. Tell him you're the best wife ever and compliment yourself on certain things you know you're good at.
29. Learn to make his favorite dish.
30. Don't ever, EVER talk bad about him with friends or family unnecessarily. If they end up agreeing with you, you will see that it hits you back in the face because you get more depressed that you have a bad husband–and other people also think you have a bad husband.
31. Use your time wisely and get things accomplished. If you're a home-maker, take online classes and get active in your community. This will make you happy and a secondary bonus is that it impresses your husband.
Some what yep, but men are more concerned about how pretty you look and how nicely you cook. As well as other more private things you would do.
As long as the courses don't get in the way of more important things, they are cool.
32. Do all of the above fee sabeelillah and you will see Allah put barakah in everything you do.
33. Husband and wife should discuss and communicate with wisdom with each other to convey what they like and dislike of each other to do or not to do. Do NOT give commands or instructions like he's your servant. "They are garment to each other" [Surah Baqarah, 2:187]
34. Tell your husband you love him, many, many times. Aisha, radiallahu anha, narrated that the Prophet , salallahu alaihi wasalaam, used to ask her how strong her love for him, she said like "a knot." And the next time he would ask her, "How is that knot?" He also used to reply to her saying, "Jazzakillah, O Aishah, wallahi, you have not rejoiced in me as I have rejoiced in you."
35. Have a race with your husband and let him win, even if you are much fitter and stronger than him.
If that is the case, you really need to make your husband work out more, and get him to be fitter and stronger.
Agree with the racing part, not the let him win part.
36. Keep fit and take care of your health so you will remain a strong mother, wife, cook and housekeeper, inshaAllah you will not get FAT and frumpy.
37. Refine and cultivate good mannerisms i.e do not whine, don't laugh or talk too loud or walk like an elephant.
38. Do not leave the house without his permission and certainly not without his knowledge.
39. Make sure all his clothes are clean and pressed so he is always looking fresh and crisp.
yep, but don't do that stuff when your husband needs attention.
When I worked really long hours, house work being done when I got back really got me annoyed.
So do them when he isn't home, or don't do them at all.
Because some other things are more important.
40. Don't discuss important/controversial matters with him when he is tired or sleepy. Find right time for right discussion.
41. The way to a man's heart is through his stomach.
yes. Cook what he likes.
Just because you think he should like something, or you like it, it doesn't mean he likes it.
42. Always let him know that you appreciate him working and bringing home the "dough". It makes it easier for him to go to work.
43. Make sure you ALWAYS have something for dinner.
44. Brush your hair, everyday.
well, depends on how much time it takes?
there are more important things
45. Don't forget to do laundry.
Again, there are more important things.
46. Surprise him with gifts. Even necessities, such as new shoes, can be gifts.
Gifts would be nice. But I don't really see clothes as gifts, just something you wear. Something that needs replacing every so often?
Gifts should be something more specific to him, something that you chose to buy, not what you need to?
47. Listen to him. (Even when he talks about extremely boring things like basketball or computers.)
Yes, but men shouldn't be talking about basketball, it is a girls sport called netball that has been Americanised.
48. Try (hard as it might be) to take interest in his hobbies
49. Try not to go shopping too much … and spend all his money.
I have never really seen this as a problem. I think this is a Desi issue, involving desi stingyness?
50. Look attractive and be seductive towards him. Flirt with him.
51. Learn tricks and "techniques" to please your husband in intimacy. (Of course goes both ways.)
52. Prepare for special evenings with him with special dinner and exclusive time (no children permitted).
53. Take care of your skin, especially your face. The face is center of attraction.
Not really. Women show of their faces to other women. Men are interested in other things. Better to keep fit.
54. If you not satisfied intimately, talk to him and tell him. Help him or provide resources, don't wait until matters become worse.
55. Ask Allah to strengthen and preserve the bonds of compassion and love between the two of you, every day, every prayer. Ask him to protect that bond from Shaytaan. When a lesser devil destroys the love between spouses, he is the most beloved of Shaytaan. Nothing works like du'ah, and love only exists between spouses where Allah instills it.
56. Don't EVER compare your husbands to other husbands! For example don't say, "well her husband doesn't do that, why do you …" (thats a killer!)
57. Be happy with what you have because no one is perfect. If you want perfection, wait until you enter Jannah together inshaAllah–and of course, vice versa!
58. Strive for Allah's love first and foremost! if all wives try to seek Allah's love and pleasure, surely, they can keep their husbands love too. And remember–if Allah loves you, the angels will love you, and the entire creation will love you.
59. If you pack a lunch for your husband to take to work, from time to time
sneak in a little love note or sweet poem. If he doesn't take a lunch, leave the note somewhere else for him to find, like in his briefcase, or wallet or on the car steering-wheel
60. Wake him up for Qiyam ul-Layl (in the last third of the night) and ask him to pray with you.
Better you wake up, you pray and do so in a way that you wont wake him or anyone else up.
It is a nawafil, ok.
Not a Farrad.