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Author Topic: 60 Ways to Keep Your Husband’s Love????  (Read 12376 times)
Abu Khaled
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« Reply #50 on: Sep 11, 2011 03:33 PM »

Dear Sister Jannah,

I noticed here...

http://jannah.org/madina/index.php?topic=5913.msg29334#msg29334

...that you were keen to read my thoughts on love.

I couldn't bear the thought of disappointing you, so here are my top 10 tips to show her you really love her:

1. For any marriage to work, there has to be give and take. So, for example, let her give you breakfast in bed, and then let her take away the tray once you've finished.
2. Don't complain about the ironing not getting done in the morning. By midday is fine.
3. Forgiveness is key. So like, overlook the fact that not every roti is perfectly symmetrical.
4. Don't nag her about housework, let her come to her own conclusion about doing it. Little signs help, like piles of unwashed laundry on her side of the bed. She'll appreciate that more than being in her face about it.
5. Leave sweet little notes for her around the house, reminding her to not forget chores.
6. Do stuff together to bring you closer, like having a TV in the kitchen so you can watch it while she does the dishes. But try being thoughtful, and position it so it's in her line of sight, so she can watch it while she does them.
7. Women like their men to be men, so order her around, lovingly. Like, "Vacuum the living room, my love."
8. Be considerate, so like, if she's preggers, and there are bags of shopping to be brought in, don't snap just because she can't bring all the bags in at once. Let her bring a few in at a time, repeatedly. And show her you care, by putting the kettle on, so its boiled by the time she's done, and she can make you both a cuppa.
9. If she's in her final trimester, when the back is really hurting, she will really appreciate such forward-planning as in point (6) because having the TV in the kitchen will mean she won't have to walk as far when serving you dinner.
10. If it happens to be winter during that final trimester, and her back is paining her a lot, make sure you think of her, by warming up the oil first, for the regular back massage she gives you. She'll appreciate the warmth of the oil during those cold days.

Remember people, it's all about communication. Without communication, no marriage can sustain itself. So you should talk and she should listen. And yes, before anyone objects, I have thought that through. Cuz, like, both of you talking ain't gonna work, since no one's paying attention to the other one! And both of you listenin' ain't gonna work either, cuz basically, that'd be silence, and thats stoopid. So the man should talk and the woman should listen, because we're not the same. No. We were created differently. We complement one another. Yes. Which means she should compliment you all the time, but outside of that, she's listenin' and you're talkin', geddit? How else she gonna understand how this thing's gonna work, huh?

People tell me I'm so 2011. I tell them it's not me, it's Islam.

You're welcome. I probably have more if you're that impressed.

Abu Khaled
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« Reply #51 on: Sep 11, 2011 04:00 PM »

salam


Well I for one am thoroughly impressed, I think you should write a book on love and marriage.





Wassalaam

And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
jannah
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« Reply #52 on: Sep 11, 2011 05:31 PM »

wsalam,

oh my Allah!! U British and ur droll humor. I always have to blink twice. To my fellow Americans the above is just IN FUN.

I think we actually need a book by Umm Khaled, a kind of tell all "How I put up with Abu Khaled & Finally got him to do the Dishes" that would definitely be a best-seller Smiley
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« Reply #53 on: Sep 11, 2011 06:22 PM »

 salaam

Quote
And both of you listenin' ain't gonna work either, cuz basically, that'd be silence, and thats stoopid.

Naw, in a household that follows these "10 Tips for Love", silence would be golden.  Lips Sealed

Abu Khaled, if you are living by these rules in your own home, how's that working out for you? Does she try to iron your shirts while you are still wearing them?  Just wondering!  Cheesy
akhan
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« Reply #54 on: Sep 11, 2011 07:22 PM »

Quote
hah the scariest is actually that i tried to find a version for men "things to please your wife" and couldn't find anything decent to post. they were all like 'watch the kids for a hour', 'look into her eyes and tell her you understand her' lol. i guess u guys will have to wing it!!
I don't know for a fact coz I am not married yet, but from what I see in my family, women seem to be easy to please. My dad calls it the "samosa rule" - buy her two samosas and she'll forget everything Grin
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« Reply #55 on: Sep 12, 2011 07:30 AM »

Asalaamu Alaikum bro

Quote
People tell me I'm so 2011

Lol

This post is more 1911 than 2011!!!

On a completely different tangent, I find the Germans are completely confused when confronted with British irony (even worse than Americans!!) and more often than not will think you are being deadly serious!!

Perhaps Sr Eleanor could give us a lowdown on German mentality Wink

Say: "O ye my servants who believe! Fear your Lord, good is (the reward) for those who do good in this world. Spacious is God's earth! those who patiently persevere will truly receive a reward without measure!" [39:10]
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« Reply #56 on: Sep 12, 2011 05:11 PM »



akhan i'm guessing samosa's are like the flowers of india Wink i think women are happy anytime their husbands appreciate them even in small ways.  flowers4u

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« Reply #57 on: Sep 12, 2011 05:50 PM »

Quote
i think women are happy anytime their husbands appreciate them even in small ways.  
I guess it is because these days not just wives, but women in general are constantly being ignored so much. When you have nothing of something, even a tiny bit of that something will make you happy.

I remember, some time ago I said "thank you" to my sister for something she did for me and she was on cloud 9 for a week or so Smiley  After that, I say it more often now. (The introvert in me always ensures that my mouth is zipped no matter what, so perhaps it was a big deal after all)

Fozia
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« Reply #58 on: Sep 12, 2011 09:22 PM »

salam


Acts of kindness no matter how small always overwhelm me.

Small tiny(to the conveyor) gestures may be a big deal to the recipient. Very easy way of gaining Allahs pleasure too, small acts of kindness.


My daughters school have signs up on the playground walls, one near the entrance reads 'A smile is an act of charity'.




Wassalaam

And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
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« Reply #59 on: Sep 21, 2011 06:13 PM »

Salaam,

I read through all the posts on this topic (I was sent the link to this topic as a joke mocking how sexist some Islamists are). The only reason I joined this message board was to tell you guys that the posts by "moderatesufi" are enough to scare anyone even remotely interested in Islam far, far away! I know the Qur'an very well. However, if I didn't, I would make the mistake of thinking that such a backwards man is an example of what Islam and the Qur'an stands for.

Yes, women should support men... but they are not slaves! They are only slaves to God. Thank you sister Fozia for putting this man in his place. I certainly hope a man such as moderatesufi does not run any mosque near my neighborhood, infesting people's brains with such hate for women and feminism. Women are equal to men (even though according to you guys her responsibilities may be different). And women should be educated, made aware of their rights, and treated with love and respect!

Salaam to all.
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« Reply #60 on: Sep 21, 2011 07:06 PM »

Walaiykum salam,

Sis IqraB I totally agree with you. I gave you a rep for that, it's kinda like facebook 'like'  Smiley

Ma'Salam,

Cinders

وَلَسَوْفَ يُعْطِيكَ رَبُّكَ فَتَرْضَىٰ

And soon will your Lord give you so that you shall be well pleased.
Al Qur'an (93:5)
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« Reply #61 on: Sep 21, 2011 08:09 PM »

Salaam,

I read through all the posts on this topic (I was sent the link to this topic as a joke mocking how sexist some Islamists are). The only reason I joined this message board was to tell you guys that the posts by "moderatesufi" are enough to scare anyone even remotely interested in Islam far, far away! I know the Qur'an very well. However, if I didn't, I would make the mistake of thinking that such a backwards man is an example of what Islam and the Qur'an stands for.

Yes, women should support men... but they are not slaves! They are only slaves to God. Thank you sister Fozia for putting this man in his place. I certainly hope a man such as moderatesufi does not run any mosque near my neighborhood, infesting people's brains with such hate for women and feminism. Women are equal to men (even though according to you guys her responsibilities may be different). And women should be educated, made aware of their rights, and treated with love and respect!

Salaam to all.

You can criticize me or disagree with me all you like but there are some fundamental mistakes you have made unrelated to this thread that I must correct.
Firstly the use of the word Islamist. This word does not appear in the Quran, the Sunnah or even in the Arabic language. There is the word Islam. We do not need to add the suffix ist to indicate a follower of Islam. We already have a word for a follower of Islam and that is Muslim.
The word Islamist was made up by people who are against Islam, so wanted a word to describe its followers other than the word Muslim, because they wanted to keep cultural Muslims on side. By cultural Muslims, I refer to people born in to Muslim families but who do not use Islam as a reference point.

So do not use the word Islamist, it isn't an insult to me, it is an insult to all people who follow Islam, whether they agree with me or disagree with me. If you think my views disagree with Islam, there are many alternative  words to you. I am an Islamist to kaffir who see Islam as something negative. If you view me as negative do not say I am negative because I follow Islam, that I am an Islamist.

Secondly, people who are going to convert to Islam do so because they believe in the creed of Islam.
That Allah is one and Allah alone should be worshipped, without partners or intermediaries.
They believe in the worship of and the obedience to Allah, not created beings.
The key issue here is they do not convert to Islam because the rules of Islam agrees with their whims and desires.
The whims and desires of people is something that changes with ever generation, and Islam doesn't change.
And that is the key issue here, in man made religions they forbid, what Allah allows to please the people. And allow what Allah forbids to please the people. While our religion, is about pleasing Allah, not pleasing the people.
So some religions move forward with the times, and change the laws that are from earlier backward times, and replace them with new forward laws. But when they do this, those religions stop being the religions of God and start being the religions of man.
And the people who follow those religions stop being worships of Allah and start being worshippers of the priests and rabbis who changed the laws.
Christianity and Judaism do this, and they haven't stopped doing this. Now they have introduced homosexual marriage in their churches and synagogues to be forward and not backwards.
But our religion was revealed 1400 years ago and it will remain what it is even if some consider it backwards. Because Our prophet pbh is the last. And what was revealed to him will not be  changed.
It needs no change. And we need no advice from the kaffir on how to change it, even if they call themselves feminists.
Why?
Because Islam is good enough.
What was revealed to the Prophet pbh is good enough.
And the rights that were revealed to him for all of us, including women, is enough for us, with out adding the whims and desires of white faced feminists.

Fozia
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« Reply #62 on: Sep 21, 2011 08:17 PM »

salam


Moderatesufi's views are his own, They do not reflect Muslims in general or even actual people in general that I've met or would care to associate with.

His views are certainly not Islamic.

I was sure non Muslim's would seize on him as a typical Muslim point of view.

He is most certainly not.

Stick around, Moderatesufi not withstanding we have some wonderful knowledgeable people here. Although as far as I know nobody here is a scholar. So all advice is personal.






Wassalaam






And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
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« Reply #63 on: Sep 21, 2011 09:33 PM »

mutual love and respect i hope would be the way to keep each others love Smiley
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« Reply #64 on: Sep 21, 2011 09:51 PM »

and sis Jannah i have downloaded that book Smiley and i hope it makes an interesting and entertaining read Smiley
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« Reply #65 on: Sep 22, 2011 06:23 AM »

Walaikum salaam iqraB,

Glad you posted sister. It's important that people know their writings and opinions written on the internet are read by others, and therefore we should be very careful how we write about things and what we espouse to be "Islam" or not.

Obviously neither moderatesufi, I, nor anyone else on this board is a scholar or shaikh(a) so it is always important to remember that what people write is always secondhand and opinionated.

And yes there are Muslims that are very chauvenistic and sexist, we can't deny that. But there are chauvenistic men of other faiths too, and men of other faiths who abuse their religion or don't follow it at all. So it's important to teach people that what certain Muslims do or think is not necessarily what the faith teaches.

It's always important to go back to what Islam teaches on a subject, and not just take a hadith or verse here and there out of context.

On the subject of Marriage in Islam there are quite a few articles written by scholars on this site in the sisters area http://jannah.org/sisters and also on http://jannah.org/halfmydeen so check those out inshallah

ws

ps I posted the original list in this thread as a counterpart to the one I posted in the brothers section, but with heavy caveats at the beginning and noting that they were written by regular people, not backed by any quran and sunnah and that i didn't agree with them. they were for discussion purposes only so i hope people understand that this and that it's not an islamic article.

pss to anyone that want to know how muslim men should be, let's go back to the words of our beloved Messenger: "The best of you is the best to his family and I am the best among you to my family."
and
"The most perfect believers are the best in conduct and best of you are those who are best to their wives."


And let's go back to one of Islam's greatest jurists and scholars Imam Shafii. He wrote:

And be a man, strong in the face of calamities
And let your nature be that of kindness and honesty

If your faults become too much in front of the people
And you wish that they were to be concealed,

Then know that kindness covers all faults
And how many faults are kept hidden by kindness!

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