Madinat al-Muslimeen Community

*


Login with username, password and session length

From the news...

Now playing: Famous Muslim literary quotes.


Pages: [1]   Go Down
Print
Author Topic: Should we actually talk? marriage  (Read 1188 times)
Anonymous
Bro
Sr. Member
*

Reputation Power: 22
Anonymous barely matters :(Anonymous barely matters :(
Gender: Male
Posts: 355


ANONYMOUS Post


« on: Jun 18, 2011 05:00 PM »


Assalaamualyikum

Hope every one is doing well.

My parents have been luking for rishta for me.

Do u think talking to sumone to get to know him better vit an intension of getting married vit d consent of parents  account for 'having a relationship' vith him? What if everything goes well initially n the girl is happy about d rishta but later unfortunately realises dat it will not work...i mean is it not why we prefer to know sumone ?so dat we guage d compatibilty instead of things going bad after marriage? plz advice

Jazaakallahukahiran

This post submitted using the ANONYMOUS button on the main Madina menu. Please reply here publicly so that the original poster can read any replies.
jannah
Administrator
Hero Member
*****

Reputation Power: 278
jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!
Gender: Female
Posts: 7141


I heart the Madina


WWW
« Reply #1 on: Jun 19, 2011 03:06 AM »

wsalam,

not sure what ur asking exactly... but it's probably a good idea to at least meet him with ur parents and talk to him about a few things that are important to you. if you feel it won't work then that's fine, don't see anything wrong with that?
rahma
Sis
Hero Member
*

Reputation Power: 73
rahma has a powerful personality :)rahma has a powerful personality :)rahma has a powerful personality :)rahma has a powerful personality :)rahma has a powerful personality :)rahma has a powerful personality :)rahma has a powerful personality :)
Gender: Female
Posts: 543



« Reply #2 on: Jun 19, 2011 05:32 PM »

Totally off topic, and I hope I don't offend...

But where are you from?

"luking" for looking
"sumone" for someone
"vit" for with
"d" for the
"dat" for that

This just seems a very odd assortment of misspellings/mispronunciations/shorthand. 
Like I said, I don't mean to bother, but I was just wondering....    Huh?
jannah
Administrator
Hero Member
*****

Reputation Power: 278
jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!
Gender: Female
Posts: 7141


I heart the Madina


WWW
« Reply #3 on: Jun 19, 2011 05:59 PM »

rahma welcome to textspeak... the new language of the 21st century Wink this is how all young ppl speak

try to figure these out:

?4U

@TEOTD

143

1DR

1NAM

4EAE

um aboodi
Sis
Hero Member
*

Reputation Power: 26
um aboodi barely matters :(um aboodi barely matters :(
Gender: Female
Posts: 606



« Reply #4 on: Jun 20, 2011 03:20 AM »

salam


Oh my, I must be ancient then?  The only one I figured out is 1DR for wonder ...right??

All this proves is that kids want to be different and cool ... so be it, but they will have to write and converse properly at one point in their lives.  Hopefully.

wassalam
rahma
Sis
Hero Member
*

Reputation Power: 73
rahma has a powerful personality :)rahma has a powerful personality :)rahma has a powerful personality :)rahma has a powerful personality :)rahma has a powerful personality :)rahma has a powerful personality :)rahma has a powerful personality :)
Gender: Female
Posts: 543



« Reply #5 on: Jun 20, 2011 03:20 PM »

Sorry Sister Jannah....

I don't get any of those.  Too old I guess...or just clueless.  Cheesy   You need a "derp" icon... I guess this will do:   smack

I was just wondering about the original post mainly because of "vit".  Sounds like a German accent, certainly not shorthand because "with" would be reduced to just a "w", no?

Fozia
Sis
Hero Member
*

Reputation Power: 124
Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!
Gender: Female
Posts: 2662



« Reply #6 on: Jun 20, 2011 03:57 PM »

salam


?4u = Question for you

@TEOTD = At the end of the day (I seriously hate this turn of phrase regardless)

143 = I love you (I don't know why I even know this one)

1DR = wonder

1NAM = one in a million

4EAE = forever and ever


My sister talks to me like this, feel sorry for me, the girl doesn't speak Urdu and only speaks street (read nonsense). It has been a while since I had a sensible conversation with a sibling :'(





Wassalaam

And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
BrKhalid
Bro
Hero Member
*

Reputation Power: 27
BrKhalid barely matters :(BrKhalid barely matters :(
Gender: Male
Posts: 1352



« Reply #7 on: Jun 20, 2011 04:03 PM »

Asalaamu Alaikum bro


Quote
I don't get any of those


I can't make head or tail of some of those either!



But to answer the original question, there should be no harm in meeting amongst family to discuss issues.



One would hope, however, that he understood how to read and write 'text', otherwise things cud get diff @ a l8r stage!!!

Say: "O ye my servants who believe! Fear your Lord, good is (the reward) for those who do good in this world. Spacious is God's earth! those who patiently persevere will truly receive a reward without measure!" [39:10]
jannah
Administrator
Hero Member
*****

Reputation Power: 278
jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!
Gender: Female
Posts: 7141


I heart the Madina


WWW
« Reply #8 on: Jun 20, 2011 05:29 PM »

ws,

good job sr fozia!! lol at ur sister only speaks "street", i read some of the kids facebook posts to each other and have to ?? if they are speaking a new language, but i think they think it's fun and cool. i think we used to invent little codes when we were younger and pass notes to each other in school that of course our parents would never be able to figure out either Wink
naira
Sis
Newbie
*

Reputation Power: 0
naira has no influence :(
Gender: Female
Posts: 15


« Reply #9 on: Jun 21, 2011 04:19 PM »

Salams, I'm back...

FYI - "143"  is the number of letters in I love you...

I = 1
LOVE = 4
YOU = 3

hmm...it seems that we forgot to answer the anon sister in our fun:)




salam


?4u = Question for you

@TEOTD = At the end of the day (I seriously hate this turn of phrase regardless)

143 = I love you (I don't know why I even know this one)

1DR = wonder

1NAM = one in a million

4EAE = forever and ever


My sister talks to me like this, feel sorry for me, the girl doesn't speak Urdu and only speaks street (read nonsense). It has been a while since I had a sensible conversation with a sibling :'(





Wassalaam

UBAB
Bro
Hero Member
*

Reputation Power: 3
UBAB has no influence :(
Gender: Male
Posts: 614


2 [agree] or not 2 [disagree]-that is the question


WWW
« Reply #10 on: Jun 21, 2011 04:29 PM »

As-salam-mu-alaikum ANONYMOUS sister,


If your parents and his parents are okay with it - then you should talk to him about matters that are important to you - if you can't even have a conversation with him - how do will you know if you are compatible? It's important to keep the conversation halal,  however, there are important questions you must ask...

If you are embarassed by some of the questions, consider SMS/Text messaging the questions or using a proxy, that is, a brother or sister you trust to ask the questions on your behalf..

It's important to ask the "predefined" questions right away before you speak to him, consider a email Q&A session prior to talking to him.

Note: features like - he prays 5 times a day and he fasts! should not be attractions to you as this is an obligation of every Muslim, it is a sad day when these have become selling points for the other gender..


The purpose of marriage is to complete half your deen, and then to build the society by creating the next generation. If at the end of the conversation(s) you cannot determine or believe that this brother will not be suitable to take care of you nor can you see any elements of him being a good father for your future children - end the conversation and move on.

The topics should be about topics that are important to you and some of them could potentially be asked ahead of time:

What your the expectations of a husband
What is his expectation of a wife
how does he treat his mother, his sisters his nieces... it's a good indicator to how he will treat you as a lady.
Were are you going to live? for how long?
Working after marriage
Schooling after marriage
When to have kids - if he wants kids (if not > move on)
What type of schooling will they have?


If this approach scares off the brother, then he is not worthy of your intelligence - and thus your heart > how can he see your real beauty which is from within if he cannot answer a few simple questions?


Jzk


 thobebro
    UBAB


Your heart will not truly open until you understand Surah 21 : Verse 92  (Al-Anbiya: The Prophets)

Help Build the Community! Visit:
Madinat al-Muslimeen > The City > Naseeha Corner > Community Toolbox
jannah
Administrator
Hero Member
*****

Reputation Power: 278
jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!
Gender: Female
Posts: 7141


I heart the Madina


WWW
« Reply #11 on: Jun 21, 2011 04:47 PM »

Quote
If this approach scares off the brother, then he is not worthy of your intelligence - and thus your heart > how can he see your real beauty which is from within if he cannot answer a few simple questions?


wsalam,

great post UBAB!! Where have you been hiding. We definitely missed your posts.

jazaks,
ws
Pages: [1]   Go Up
Print
 
Jump to: