// Need help (fight with father)
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« on: Jun 14, 2011 06:22 AM »


Assalaaualaikum brothers and sisters.

I really need ur help now

I am feeling miserable now a days...reason being...I have been a really bad person to those around me...I have been into fights with my family members lately....have  really misbehaved with my father because he misunderstood me and beat,sweared to me,n scolded me...we are not on talking terms...want to aplogise to him...but he still holds that anger and hate against me...so I am fearing he may scold me back when I approach him with apology and make things worse....I do not know what to do....A father's blessings and prayers are very important to the child...but I have annoyed my father...

My problem is..I can not tolerate if some one misunderstands me...if I do any mistake,I accept it...but being thougt of wrongly due to a misunderstanding does not go well with me...this was d reason of d fight..


I fear that Allah is also angry with me because of this....feeling miserable....feeling like not living at all.Have lost interest in life...Please help me decide what to do.


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« Reply #1 on: Jun 14, 2011 10:20 AM »

salam


Go ahead an apologise to him, your apologising and making a reconciliatory gesture doesn't diminish you in any way.
Also when you make your apology do it with the thought that perhaps your father may not accept the apology immediately, pehaps he may berate you further, but if this happens lower your gaze and remain patient.

I've always done this with my parents and elders and Allah has bestowed so much love upon me, my parents and family treat me with a lot of love (now) and people who dislike me are grudgingly respectful as I don't lash out in anger (altho I want to), which eliminates any spur of the moment action or word being said which I would regret greatly later on. It also means arguemnts don't escalate, nobody can argue or yell at someone who is not rising tothe bait, also lower your gaze so you are not glaring at your father, becasue that wont help either.

I am however deeply worried your father is beating you, he is not supposed to do that when you are older. If you are in a situation where your father is really losing his temper you may want to remove yourself from the situation, altho if you hold your tongue and dont bite back your dad may not lose his temper so completely.


I'ts not easy bringing up children.

Say Bismillah, and apoplogise.






Wassalam

And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
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« Reply #2 on: Jul 04, 2011 01:56 PM »

Fear Allah and be good to your parents!
Do salatul towba. To seek Allah's forgiveness in relation to your evil conduct with your father. And ask forgiveness from your father, and never behave in such an evil way again.
We are not Kaffir, we as believers must be good to our parents.
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