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Author Topic: 10 Beautiful Aspects Muslim Men Find Attractive In Muslim Women  (Read 6198 times)
jannah
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« on: Aug 15, 2011 06:42 PM »


In response to the article sr Halima posted... True or False bros, or really False?? I get the feeling this is like 1% of Muslim guys and they usually marry Niqabis, cuz they think that's who have all these qualities. The rest of the guys seem to have a lot more specific things they're looking for ie a doctor Huh?,  specific nationality, white skin  Roll Eyes, etc etc  am I right or am I right?  Tongue -- J.

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10 Beautiful Aspects Muslim Men Find Attractive In Muslim Women



  

1. Her Obedience to the Creator: A practicing Muslim man loves to have a practicing Muslim wife; who knows that the life of this world is nothing but a test from her Lord; giving her an opportunity to come closer and closer to Allah, doing more and more good deeds to please Him Azza wa jal, restricting herself from the desires of her inner self that go against the will of her Creator.

 

But as for him who feared standing before his Lord, and restrained himself from impure evil desires, and lusts. Verily, Paradise will be his abode. (Surah An- Naaziyaat: 40-41)

 

 

2. Her Haya (Modesty/Shyness): Haya is one of the most significant factors of a woman’s personality. Haya according to a believer's nature refers to a bad and uneasy feeling accompanied by embarrassment, caused by one's fear of being exposed or censured for some unworthy or indecent conduct.[1]

 

 Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said: "Haya comes from Eman; Eman leads to Paradise. Obscenity comes from antipathy; and antipathy leads to the fire." (Sahih Al-Bukhari)

 

A Muslim woman feels shy to do anything that would displease her Lord in any aspect. She has haya in her talk, she has haya in her gaze, she has haya in her clothing, she has haya in her walk. Her haya in her talk is that she is not soft in her speech but speaks honorably. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):

“O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty (to Allah), then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honorable manner” (Surah Al-Ahzaab:32)

 

Her haya in her gaze is that she does not look at what Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala has prohibited for her to look. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):

And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts)… (Verse continues) (Surah An-Nur: 31)

 

Her haya in her clothing is that she does not reveal to others what Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala has forbidden for her to reveal. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):

 

...And not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent (like both eyes for necessity to see the way or outer dress like veil, gloves, head-cover, apron, etc.), and to draw their veils all over Juyubihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms,) and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husband's fathers, or their sons, or their husband's sons, or their brothers or their brother's sons, or their sister's sons, or their (Muslim) women (i.e. their sisters in Islâm), or the (female) slaves whom their right hands possess, or old male servants who lack vigor, or small children who have no sense of the feminine sex.. (Verse Continues) (Surah An-Nur: 31)

 

Her haya in her walk is that she walks modestly without attracting others attention towards herself. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning): .

 

..And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And all of you beg Allâh to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful. (Surah An-Nur: 31)

 

 Abu Usayd al-Ansari narrated that he heard Allah’s Messenger Sallallahu alaihiwasallam say to the women on his way out of the mosque when he saw men and women mixing together on their way home: ‘Give way (i.e., walk to the sides) as it is not appropriate for you to walk in the middle of the road.’ Thereafter, women would walk so close to the wall that their dresses would get caught on it. (Narrated by Abu Dawood in "Kitab al-Adab min Sunanihi, Chapter: Mashyu an-Nisa Ma’ ar-Rijal fi at-Tariq)

 

A woman who has the knowledge of Allah’s commandment to preserve her modesty, submitting herself to the will of her creator, even after having the desire to be praised for her beauty, is without doubt beloved to Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala and as well as to all good believing men.

 

 

3. Her Beauty: Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala made women beautiful in the sight of men. It’s just that some human beings are more attracted towards some than others. Aishah RadhiyAllahu anha said: “I heard the Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam saying: ‘Souls are like conscripted soldiers; those whom they recognize, they get along with, and those whom they do not recognize, they will not get along with.’” (Sahih Al-Bukhari)

 

Al-Qurtubi said: “Although they are all souls, they differ in different ways, so a person will feel an affinity with souls of one kind, and will get along with them because of the special quality that they have in common. So we notice that people of all types will get along with those with whom they share an affinity, and will keep away from those who are of other types. [This is like the old saying goes, “Birds of a feather flock together”] For a believing man, a Muslim woman’s beauty is not just how her nose looks or how big her eyes are, but her modesty, purity of heart, and innocence make her look beautiful as well. Also Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala makes people whom He loves, pleasing to others.

 

 “When Allah loves someone he calls to Jibreel Alaihissalaam saying, ‘O Jibreel, I love such and such a person, so love him.’ Then Jibreel will call to the (angels) of the heavens, ‘Allah loves such and such a person so love him.’ And the angels will love [that person]. And then Allah will place the pleasure in the hearts of the people towards this person.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

 

 

4. Her Intellect/playfulness: Intellect and playfulness are two qualities of women highly liked by men. Every man likes to have an intelligent wife who can advise and support him in day to day matters. Khadija bint Khuwaylid RadhiyAllahu anha was one of the most beloved wives of Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). She supported Allah’s messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) at the very beginning of his Prophethood when Jibreel alaihissalaam brought the first revelation to him. Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) always admired her and remembered her even long after her death. A playful wife is a joy and pleasure to a man’s heart. Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam recommended Jabir bin 'Abdullah to marry a virgin so that the two could play with each other and amuse each other. Narrated Jabir bin 'Abdullah: "My father died and left seven or nine girls and I married a matron.

Allah's Apostle said to me, "O Jabir! Have you married?" I said, "Yes." He said, "A virgin or a matron?" I replied, "A matron." he said, "Why not a virgin, so that you might play with her and she with you, and you might amuse her and she amuse you." (Hadith continued) (Sahih Al- Bukhari)

 

 

5. Her Truthfulness: Being truthful and honest is an essential quality of a believer. ‘Abdullah ibn Mas’ood RadhiyAllahu anh said: The Messenger of Allah Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said: “I urge you to be truthful, for truthfulness leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads to Paradise. A man will continue to be truthful and seek to speak the truth until he is recorded with Allah as speaker of truth (Siddeeq). And beware of lying, for lying leads to immorality and immorality leads to Hell; a man will continue to tell lies until he is recorded with Allah as a liar.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

A person who is known to lie repeatedly loses his trust. And if that happens in case of a marital relationship the whole relationship falls apart. A woman who is known to be a “Siddeeqah” certainly has a higher status in a Muslim man’s heart.

 

 

6. Her Obedience: Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala made man protector and maintainer of the woman and enjoined upon her to obey him in all the matters that do not go against Quran and Sunnah. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means” (Surah An-Nisa’: 34)

The Messenger of Allah Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said, “The best women is she who when you look at her, she pleases you, when you command her she obeys you, and when you are absent, she protects her honor and your property.” (At-Tabarani, Ibn Majah)

 

 

7. Her Patience: Patience is a characteristic that can never be praised enough. A woman who remains patient at the times of hardship and relies on the help and mercy of Allah is without a doubt a beloved servant of Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):

 

 “And Allah loves As-Saabiroon (the patient)” (Surah Aal Imran: 146)

 

 

8. Her Cooking: Delicious food is without a doubt weakness of men. It’s an old saying that “The Way to a Man's Heart is through his Stomach”. We also know that one of Prophet’s (Sallallahu alaihiwasallam) wives used to cook food that he liked a lot and due to that Aishah radhiyAllahu anha would get jealous, because she didn’t know how to cook that.

 

 

9. Her Contentment with Rizq: No man likes to have a woman who is always complaining about how less her husband earns or how rich her other friends are. A good Muslimah is the one who thank Allah for what He has blessed her with and she is thankful to her husband for what he provides her with. Abu Hurairah RadhiyAllahu anh reported: The Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said, "Richness is not the abundance of wealth, rather it is self-sufficiency.'' (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

 

 

10. Good Manners: A woman of good manners is a blessing from Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala. When she speaks, she speaks honorably, why she deals with others she deals with them kindly. She is polite with elders, loving to children, and good to her fellow folks. It is related by 'Abdullah bin Amr that the Prophet Sallallahu alaihiwasallam said: "The best of you are those who possess the best of manners." (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
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sadah
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« Reply #1 on: Aug 15, 2011 07:55 PM »

Salam.
Nice one sister. Now we'll look 4ward 2 ur next post of the 10 things that women expect in men...lol
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« Reply #2 on: Aug 15, 2011 09:43 PM »

Salam.
Nice one sister. Now we'll look 4ward 2 ur next post of the 10 things that women expect in men...lol


Just 10 bro !?!?!  Grin j/k I wrote something awhile ago about some nice general qualities http://jannah.org/blog/2010/03/19/what-is-masculinity/ didn't include the more "Islamic" ones but y'aani being a good muslim #1 of course...
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« Reply #3 on: Aug 16, 2011 01:13 AM »

The qualities are really admirable but finding a woman who has all of these together is pretty much next to impossible. I reckon only the Sahabiyyas might've been like that.

You're spot on with the "doctor, white skin" obsession. Lots of people want just that and green cards too.
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« Reply #4 on: Aug 16, 2011 04:16 AM »

Quote
The qualities are really admirable but finding a woman who has all of these together is pretty much next to impossible. I reckon only the Sahabiyyas might've been like that.


Whaaaaaaaaa??? You're way too young to say something like that. At least some sisters are *striving* to try to be these qualities. And I don't think these are hard to find really.  The only thing is these sisters are overlooked because of a lot of things... ie they don't fit a certain perfect image, they're not gorgeous, they're divorced, they're older, their race or nationality, they're too educated, or not enough educated, guys looking for a doormat/housewife, looking for a careerwoman to support him, etc etc

Hmmm, on second thought he does have beauty, cooks delicious things and is obedient (always many interpretations on that) on there. Dunno any single beautiful cooks that want to be doormats so u could be right...
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« Reply #5 on: Aug 16, 2011 07:12 AM »

Asalaamu Alaikum bro

I would add:

11. Her desire to better herself


PS Not totally convinced  with #8. Does that mean not being able to ruffle up a decent Haleem is a dealbreaker? Wink

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« Reply #6 on: Aug 16, 2011 09:12 AM »

Salam

Eeeeeeeeppppp.....if I was single, judging by the criteria above, I would never be married  Cool

Wassalam
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« Reply #7 on: Aug 16, 2011 10:43 AM »

sis J, I am 21, old enough to be married both legally and Islamically so ... Smiley
Anyway, I am not talking about external appearances or social stigmas. Most women don't have the other things as well and #9 is the most common. For some reason, they always want more/what the other person has - grass is greener on the other side syndrome. The worst part is that quality never goes away. For me, subjectivity and a cultural mindset(especially Indian culture Tongue) are the worst qualities anybody, man or woman can have. Pragmatism is the key.
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« Reply #8 on: Aug 16, 2011 05:18 PM »

wsalam,

i meant too young to think there are no sisters like that out there. at least have some hope and idealism at 21!! inshaAllah u'll find someone with all these qualities. me and your cousins know lots of great sisters over here!! altho i think the author was saying these are things he finds attractive, not requirements for marriage?

#9 is something both men and women have to fight against in the dunya. but i think if u marry someone from the same socio-economic background and goals as yourself and who has worked herself and knows the value of money it shouldn't be a problem...

revising akhan's requirements:

1. can cook hyderabadi (non-diet) haleem
2. can cook hyderabadi biryani
3-10. See 1-2.
 Cheesy Tongue
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« Reply #9 on: Aug 16, 2011 05:32 PM »

Well, I based my claim on my findings and I have never seen such sisters. I hope I find one when I want to get married Grin

I've a problem with the socio in socio-economic. Indian socio is something that constantly puts me off. People go way out of their comfort zone to fulfill some silly customs which are again un-Islamic. The world says India has "rich" culture, but I totally disagree with that.

And I can cook biryani on my own Grin

So re-revising my requirements

1-10. Can cook Hyderabadi Haleem Wink
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« Reply #10 on: Aug 16, 2011 07:12 PM »

1-10. Can cook Hyderabadi Haleem Wink

lols shouldn't be too difficult we'll just set up a blind taste testing haleem making contest. then whoever has the best haleem u marry her!!  madinaflag


i remember one good brother who kept telling me all sisters were so materialistic blah blah?! then i was like ok what about marrying this sister who isn't, this sister, this sister in the community etc and he had one reason or another for not being interested. and then he's like since i'm a doctor i want to marry a doctor or someone from a doctor's family cuz i want her to have her own wealth and i was like  Undecided d'oh dude is going to be making 5xs what the average person does and wants someone used to money and is materialistic himself so blech. just setting themself up for their own downfall and blaming all women to boot Sad


ps who keeps giving me all these reps?? thanx lol i'm finally ahead in the race  Grin
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« Reply #11 on: Aug 16, 2011 08:04 PM »

I know, some people are plain hypocritically wack! I've a cousin who's almost the same, except for a small addition - he wants a green card too. He's a resident at some Hospital in NYC and an affiliate at a college of physicians and surgeons so, he wants (actually him and his parents,both) want somebody as good as him plus a green card. I wished him luck! Tongue
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« Reply #12 on: Aug 16, 2011 08:21 PM »

ws,

dude this world is too small. not only do i know your cousins (the good ones!) i think my sis-in-laws sister is a resident at that hospital too... btw i deleted all that stuff.. too easy to identify him!

about the whole money/materialistic thing... i think sometimes its the way some guys think about money. like some guys are like 'i work hard for my money and it's MY money and it's my right to do whatever i want with it'. that's why they want all these prenups and everything because he feels like his money is only his. they forget that their wives are the one's that take care of their homes, have their children, give them comfort and whatever else. don't they say married men get promoted more often and make more money. they're more stable and whatever. i mean the wife could have been like whatever too and been working to make her own money and live her own life too. anyhow then some guys end up taking it away to use as punishment or control her too. so it's not all one sided when she 'wants money'.

 
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moderatesufi
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« Reply #13 on: Aug 16, 2011 08:25 PM »

usually marry Niqabis, cuz they think that's who have all these qualities. The rest of the guys seem to have a lot more specific things they're looking for ie a doctor Huh?


The two don't actually contradict.
You can have a Niqabi who is a doctor. I mean you can't, cause your a girl. I mean, I can, or I have. Because I am actually married to a Niqabi doctor.
I didn't the Niqab means additional qualities. the Niqab in it self is a positive because it means following the Sunnah of Niqab as practised by the wives of the Prophet pbh.
It wasn't something that I looked for. But what I didn't want was someone who doesn't practice Hijab. Because that would mean someone who openly disobeys Allah. I don't mean people who don't practice commit others acts of fosk, what I mean is showing the hair to non-mohrams is an act of open and habitual  fosuk in it self.

For me, doctor was actually a negative. Not just a negative, such a major negative, that whan I was actually called to the meeting. I refused to turn up.
But then her family sent additional requests in which they were saying "She will do the house work, and will only do the job if she has time".
I still didn't want to see her, because i look down on doctors and women with excessive education. But my mum made me.
And when I went in the room the first thing my wife said, is she will do the house work and only do her career if she has time.
I believed that if someone was too busy studying all their lives, they wouldn't be able to learn how to cook and change nappies from their mums.

I did make her promise that she wont speak to any future kids in Urdu and she will learn how to cook our type food. Because I really hate Pakistani type food.
And she made me promise I wont stop her from working or wearing niqab.
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« Reply #14 on: Aug 16, 2011 08:33 PM »

that was like the funniest thing i've read all ramadan. moderatesufi u know what... i know u have some crazy views and like arguing with ppl or they like arguing with u, but i can just never bring myself to ban u. we just never know what ur going to say in ur posts... just comedy gold, i never know if i want to  Angry or  :'( or  Cheesy anyways i give u a rep for marrying a niqabi doctor cuz ur mum made u lol.  i really would love it if someone actually met u in person and sent us back a report. wouldn't that be sompthin' Shocked
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« Reply #15 on: Aug 17, 2011 01:05 AM »

moderatesufi, after all those promises you made your wife make, I would love to know what kind of promises and compromises you made for her?
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« Reply #16 on: Aug 17, 2011 01:35 AM »

She only asked me two things. And I fulfilled them both in letter and in spirit.
1: I will not stop her wearing Niqab.
After the wedding. She covered her face in front of my family. Including my brothers, my mother's brother and my father's brother.
Even though it was known she wore niqab, it wasn't known that she would do that. My mum did ask me to tell her to cover her hair at home but not the face. But I told her about what I said.
I didn't stop her.

2: I allow her to work.
When she started work again after our kids were born, my family had a problem with it cause women working isn't common in our family.
Again I told my mum that I would support her in it and wont stop her cause of the promise.
I think with this one I have far acceded what was required due to the promise.
Because I drive her to work. And when it got to a stage when only one of us could work, because of the promise. I left my Job.
I also help her to study for additional exams, do her accounts, and organise her schedule, write her letters, take messages for her and lots of other stuff.

When it comes to her promises she was let off the food one by my mum.
What happened was when she came to my house after the wedding, my mum had cooked.
And while we were eating my wife started crying, and my mum asked what was the matter.
And she mentioned the promise.
And my mum told said "cook what you want, he can eat it or he can starve".
She does cook Pakistani food, and does try to cook our type. But she doesn't cook Dhal for me, just herself and the kids, cause I really hate it.
That is a compromise on my part, because the deal was no Pakistani food, but it became, "cook what you like, eat what you like, just don't try and make me eat dhal"


When it comes to the Urdu thing. She tried to get out of it but I didn't let her. She tried to teach my daughter to say, "Pakistan Zindabad", but then I taught my daughter to say "Pakistan murdabad".
So she stopped. and she did ask to send my daughter to urdu classes, but I refused.
When we went to the middle east last month, there was a lot of Pakistanis there, and she used her Urdu a lot. So when we got back she said Urdu is very useful and now she wants to teach our kids Urdu, but I said no because I really hate Urdu. I reminded her that the deal we made on the meeting was, we will teach the Kids Arabic and never ever Urdu.
So there was no compromise there.


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sadah
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« Reply #17 on: Aug 17, 2011 02:28 AM »


ps who keeps giving me all these reps?? thanx lol i'm finally ahead in the race  Grin

so the transcendant moderator doesnt knw who gv her reps! I gv rep anytime I logon to whoever ague intelectually and mst often happens to b Jannah. Even ur name should fetch u rep.....lol
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« Reply #18 on: Aug 17, 2011 03:21 PM »

Dude are you for real?

btw, br sadah, how about repping me? Wink
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« Reply #19 on: Aug 17, 2011 03:31 PM »

Assalamu Alaiykum

 Cheesy----> @ akhan.

 Dude where's my reps?  Wink

Ma'Salam,

Cinders.
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« Reply #20 on: Aug 17, 2011 03:47 PM »

Assalamu Alaiykum

 Cheesy----> @ akhan.

 Dude where's my reps?  Wink

Ma'Salam,

Cinders.


Walaikum Assalam

Sis, you're the only one who finds me funny all the time Smiley here's a  bebzi for that
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« Reply #21 on: Aug 17, 2011 04:42 PM »

Dude are you for real?

btw, br sadah, how about repping me? Wink

Sure! You heard my conditions! Sb is gonna get one right now bt I'm afraid it may not be you........ Huh?........lol
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« Reply #22 on: Aug 17, 2011 04:59 PM »

wsalam,

how do cinders and akhan manage to turn every thread into a repping party  Huh? sheesh kabobs!! akhan i added some comments on $ just think abt it.

br sadah what's your top 10?

1. will cook nice nigerian food so i can study. Wink
2-10. same as 1.


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« Reply #23 on: Aug 17, 2011 05:03 PM »

Salam


br sadah what's your top 10?

1. will cook nice nigerian food so i can study. Wink
2-10. same as 1.




You mean in respect to d topic or jst my fav?
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« Reply #24 on: Aug 17, 2011 05:06 PM »

ws,

the original topic yes...

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