// Community Involvement?
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Anonymous
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« on: Sep 18, 2011 07:39 AM »


As a community, we are supposed to look after one another. Being good to our neighbors and helping out our parents and grandparents is all very important. Are there any guidelines on when is or isnt an appropriate time to interact/intervene with other memebers of the society?

This is the context of my question:
6 months ago a new Muslim family moved into the upstairs apartment in our building. Ever since they have moved in, the whole building can hear their frightful arguments and screams, they hit each other, throw glasses and their children scream like they are being beaten with no regard. They do this with their front door open so its not private. (Its very frightening)

People are scared to talk to this family, as they fight when they are confronted. The police have been called but nothing more than a report is made and they continue this behavior.

Is it appropriate for the neighbors or someone more qualified to intervene at some stage?


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« Reply #1 on: Oct 11, 2011 04:57 AM »

Salam,

Are you living in a Muslim country or non-Muslim, and is this family Muslim or no? And do you know them?

You know something similar happened here a few months ago where a couple was fighting next door to the mosque, like seriously screaming etc and the guy started hitting the woman! So the Mosque called the police (yeah sadly this sounds like an episode of Cops doesn't it!!) and then the cops just came, questioned them and left, then the woman came over and started screaming at the Mosque ppl saying they shouldn't have gotten involved or called the cops etc. It was just a mess. Honestly I think the police are trained to handle domestic disturbances and we're not. But ppl involved can easily turn on you, so I dunno I'd say don't get involved unless you think there's physical harm going on then call the police, but don't let them know you did!

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« Reply #2 on: Oct 11, 2011 04:15 PM »

 salam

I understand how you feel, jannah, almost like you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't take any action. What about peace as a a social norm? It's not our call nor should we take it upon ourselves to try to measure out the level of violence to determine the seriousness of a domestic dispute if things are being thrown and they're screaming so let the police come. Every single time.

Why settle for less than peace. There are kids who are in the middle of it all and the more they experience without help arriving, the more they have to tolerate as a part of their lives. No one will feel safe.
The one time you don't call may be the one you wish you had called.

Of course the woman is going to be angry, she's got the spotlight on her and her husband. I'd congratulate her for surviving the ordeal and inform her that the police will be called again if she's fighting again. I guess the bottom line is you can only help someone that wants to be helped. She might thank you someday but don't count on it.
InshaAllah kheir, Im saying duas for these people to have peace restored. ameen.

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« Reply #3 on: Oct 11, 2011 05:32 PM »

wsalam,

That is true sister, but I do think some people just argue like that, at the top of their lungs!! If it's just arguing and stuff I'd leave them to it....
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