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SlaveOfAllah
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« on: Sep 25, 2011 07:11 AM »


Asalaamu Alaikum. I live in Harlem, NY and at my school and neighborhood women wear super haraam clothes and honestly i have made some great progression. I dnt look as much but still i want to stop forever. Any tips?
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Asalaamu Alaikum
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Fozia
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« Reply #1 on: Sep 25, 2011 08:48 AM »

salam



Keep your eyes on the ground...a few feet ahead of you so don't walk into trees and people, but it really is that simple.








Wassalaam
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And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
Abu Khaled
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« Reply #2 on: Sep 25, 2011 08:55 AM »

Wa-alaikum assalam wa rahmatullah.

Do you mean haram clothes that are super, or clothes that are even more haram than haram, making them super-haram?

I'm just asking.

Abu Khaled
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SlaveOfAllah
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« Reply #3 on: Sep 25, 2011 04:21 PM »

i mean clothes that are really haraam like very tight skirts, tight jeans, or just tights and no underwear
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Asalaamu Alaikum
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SlaveOfAllah
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« Reply #4 on: Sep 25, 2011 04:22 PM »

jazakallah khair @fozia
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Asalaamu Alaikum
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jannah
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« Reply #5 on: Sep 25, 2011 09:14 PM »

really is it that hard... just don't look at them ?? i forgot what high school was like but do remember some of the girls dressing inappropriately even then!!


This should probably go in the brothers only so they can give him some REAL advice...?

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SlaveOfAllah
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« Reply #6 on: Sep 26, 2011 12:01 AM »

yeah
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Asalaamu Alaikum
                             -SerigneBabs99
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« Reply #7 on: Sep 26, 2011 12:15 PM »

Move to a Muslim country where they don't dress so harram.
But even though women dress hallal  there, instead of Harram, you might find it harder to keep your gave under control because the women would be much prettier there.
Americans in general tend to be overweight and ugly, if you can't keep control of your gaze there where there isn't much to temp you even though it is all out for show, I'm not sure you would be able to control it anywhere else?
or get married, and gaze at your wife all day.
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se7en
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« Reply #8 on: Sep 26, 2011 12:59 PM »

as salaamu alaykum,

This is one of my absolutely favorite articles by Sh. Suhaib Webb because he really keeps it real!  Check it out:

The Answer to the Heat Wave of Fitnah.  Grab the Umbrella of Taqwa (Advice for the Summer)
(Link: http://www.suhaibwebb.com/islam-studies/the-answer-to-the-heat-wave-of-fitnah-grab-the-umbrella-of-taqwa-advice-for-summer-ust-suhaib-webb/)


Asalamu alaykum,

I hope all of you are well and pray that everyone is in a state of being close to Allah. Just 10 short years ago I was struggling as a new convert to Islam and one of the greatest hurdles was the ladies. My college days were rough in many regards. Before my conversion I was a successful DJ (I had just got my hands on a really nice four track mixer. Okay so you know I’m old school. But, in those days I could make it fly) and was about to walk the Burning Sands. All praise be to God that instead I became Muslim and slowly started to pull out of those things. It was rough but the most difficult part was dealing with the other gender.


Young brothers and sister I feel your pain man. It is difficult and as the summer months roll up it gets more and more difficult to manage as the clothes roll up as well. We all know the routine: “Lower the gaze! Lower the gaze! Lower the gaze!” But, if the heart is not lowered in awe of Allah’s magnificence and His tremendous bounties, then how can we expect the eyes to lower?

Tonight I attended a reading of the Shamil Muhamadiyah with Sh. Ibrahim al-Khalifa from Saudi Arabia. He is visiting Egypt for a few weeks and I had just finished my exam and decided to go and listen to his dars. The streets in Cairo are a mix of cars, buses, donkeys, cows and pollution that, seriously, when you make wudu slides off your face. I can only liken the air to a full vacuum bag that spews its contents creating a small cloud of dust. However, in the heat I remembered the homies in the West: My Boyz in Chicago, the brothers in L.A and most importantly the brothers in the Bay. I miss them all. The love for brothers is something that we should cherish and hold on to like we hold on to our checkbooks.

Anyways, after reading from the Shamail, the Sheikh moved on to al-Muhasibi’s Risalat Mustarshidin with the tahqiq by Sh. Abdul Fatah Abu Ghuda. The Sheikh was talking about worshiping Allah as though you see the Hereafter close and understand that your time is up. “Be ready! Don’t let this life delude you! Be good people. Treat others with respect and worship your Lord as though you are going to leave this life soon.” It was a real masterpiece to watch the Sheikh tie vice with the rope of responsibility and knowing that one is going to die one day and answer for his time. Imam al-Muhasibi’s texts is intense and I felt a buzz in my chest as the Sheikh started to get into the flow.

This is for the all the young brothers and sisters struggling:

The Sheikh, after talking about this responsibility linked it to a very interesting story. That, for me, is the sign of a good Imam, teacher or Sheikh that they can tie things into our daily lives. Thus, such a style gives the din fresh legs, opens up one’s heart and soothes the coals of sin. He said that during the time of ‘Umar there was a young man who’s desires got the best of him. It all started with the look and the next thing the young man was alone with a woman. Suddenly, as the clock was starting to turn, the young man heard a verse of Qur’an being recited that reminded him of Allah’s greatness. He left the young woman, stood up shaking from the fear of Allah and fell dead from this fear. ‘Umar (may Allah have mercy on him) buried this youth and after hearing how he died walked over to the fresh grave and recited the following verse from Surah al-Rahman, “And for the one who fears the meeting with Allah there are two gardens.” Suddenly a response came from the grave reciting the verse, “We have found the promise of our Lord to be true.”

Dear brothers and sisters,

The summer is upon you and it is no joke. Statistics show that as the barometer rises that evil rise as well. One of the most important things you can take with you is Allah’s awesome nature and bounties. Reflect! Turn of the PS3! Put down the I-Pod and think for a minute! Put handcuffs on your Internet use and know that you will be asked about your youth. Where are you headed? What are you doing and how are you going to use this summer? Take sometime away from the gadgets and turn on your heart. Make some goals for yourself to do some good things in your community. Remember that when you see something that causes your temperature to fly that Allah is watching you. He knows what is in your heart and understands that it ain’t easy. Ask Him for His help and try to withstand the attacks of Iblis. I have a lot of faith that our young brothers and sisters can do loads of wonderful things in their communities!

Cool the heat of summer with the following:

1. Good friends who take you to good places. The Prophet (sa) said, “A person is on the faith of his friend.” One nice note about the hadith of the three people stuck in the cave. If they had not been together then they would have not been able to help each other get out. However, since they were all decent guys they were able to work together and use their good to remove the rock from the cave.

2. Have some goals for this summer:

1. Community (volunteer with any number of Muslim/Non-Muslim organizations and do something good for your neighborhoods
2. Spiritual (get those five prayers rocking and if you are real with it you will throw in some night prayers and extra fasts)
3. Educational (try and attend some lessons or educational programs that will boost your faith)
4. Family (spend some time with the wife/husband (find one) kids and close relatives

3. Have some nice activities:
1. Qiyam
2. B-Ball tourneys (all nighters) followed by Qiyam, Fajir and some Aunties phat spicy eggs
3. Sleep overs
4. Camping
5. Weekly ‘Itikaf (inshallah, when I’m back in the States I’m down)

I ask Allah to help us, bless us and let us use our time well. I would appreciate it if whoever reads this could help us generate a list of things to do this summer.

Suhaib

www.suhaibwebb.com
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SlaveOfAllah
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« Reply #9 on: Sep 26, 2011 02:15 PM »

jazakallah khair. i just realized that ets not super hard...anyway i have a question...if you were raised as a muslim but haven't always acted like a muslim must i still take shahadah now that i practice islam?
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Asalaamu Alaikum
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« Reply #10 on: Sep 26, 2011 02:20 PM »

salam

I don't know the fiqh of this Br. From a personal point I repeat the shahadah whenever I think of it. Renewing ones faith can't be bad.




Wassalaam
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And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
SlaveOfAllah
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« Reply #11 on: Sep 26, 2011 03:19 PM »

jazakallah khair
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Asalaamu Alaikum
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jannah
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« Reply #12 on: Sep 26, 2011 05:12 PM »

Move to a Muslim country where they don't dress so harram.

Have you ever been to a Muslim country? Trust me many dress much worse. And many that are covered head to toe are wearing extremely tight or see thru clothes. So it may help by having less billboards and advertising but "lowering the gaze" is a state of mind wherever one lives.


Quote
But even though women dress hallal  there, instead of Harram, you might find it harder to keep your gave under control because the women would be much prettier there.
Americans in general tend to be overweight and ugly,

Have you ever been to America? Women are not ugly especially younger girls in high school and college. They are quite beautiful and definitely a temptation for any guy. Why do u think Muslim guys are marrying American girls in droves, it's because they can show their beauty.

Quote
if you can't keep control of your gaze there where there isn't much to temp you even though it is all out for show, I'm not sure you would be able to control it anywhere else?

That's a ridiculously rude statement. You don't know what kind of temptation the brother has or what difficulties he's going through.

Quote
or get married, and gaze at your wife all day.

He's 15 years old. C'mon get real. And we all know that even getting married is not a complete cure. There are guys who are married who still stare at women and worse stare at pornography and other things. Why is that when they're married? It's because there is no Taqwa there and they let the disease take over.

Jazaks se7en for the article very useful. It sounds like the article advocates keeping busy with good Muslim friends in Islamic activities and things which keep your Imaan motivated and high. Very good for all teens.

Someone told me a statistic before that 4 our of every 10 Muslim guys watch pornography and they all started in their teens. Many are married after that and it doesn't cure them. Pornography as we all know rewires the brain. It's very scary. May Allah protect our brothers from that.

Please read the article again and tape it on your wall!

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moderatesufi
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« Reply #13 on: Sep 26, 2011 06:53 PM »

In the state of NY where the brother lives the minimum marriageable age is 16 with parental consent and 14 with parental and judicial consent.
So if he is old enough to stare at women his old enough to marry one, at least in NY.
Smiley

And Jannah, I have been to Muslim countries. And even though, not everyone dresses as Islamicly as they should, They generally dress a lot better than people in Kaffir countries. The only reason people notice them more there, is to most guts women their are worth noticing.

I haven't been to America, but all the American women I have seen here and else where, make it very easy to turn my gaze.
As a heterosexual female I don't think you are quite qualified to judge how attractive fellow females are?
But I agree, some guys in America might find that attractive, simply because that is all that is available.

Jannah, I am a guy.
That's a ridiculously rude statement. You don't know what kind of temptation the brother has or what difficulties he's going through.

You are not.
That means I know how the brother is tempted, and you do not.
You know how sisters are tempted.
But even though I am not gay or anything. And remembering all the American men I have seen, I don't think there is anything to temp them over there?
But I am not qualified to judge that.

Bro get married. Ask your parents to import you one from where ever it is they come from?
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austmuslimah
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« Reply #14 on: Sep 26, 2011 08:01 PM »

 Ask your parents to import you one from where ever it is they come from?

OMG there is soooo much wrong with that sentence I dont even know where to begin!
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jannah
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« Reply #15 on: Sep 26, 2011 08:04 PM »

Like I said, marriage is not practical for him and is not an option. No point of trying to give solutions that are not workable.

Secondly, Haya is something that is internal and practiced, whether someone is married or not.

As to who is pretty or not, there is no point to this argument. There are externally beautiful women all over the world Muslim or not.

I don't care if you're a guy, you're not the bro are you? Unless you registered with a different name and id?

The bro came here for advice and practical help, not ridiculousness.

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SlaveOfAllah
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« Reply #16 on: Sep 26, 2011 10:18 PM »

thanks every1 i realized i can stop and im not getting married! my mother said marry a nice muslim but wait till u are physically, emotionally and financially ready and thats what i will do. Im 15! I ddnt mean to cause an argument but fozia u did it to your self.
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Asalaamu Alaikum
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SlaveOfAllah
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« Reply #17 on: Sep 26, 2011 10:21 PM »

jazakallah khair especially to @jannah
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Asalaamu Alaikum
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Fozia
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« Reply #18 on: Sep 26, 2011 11:16 PM »

salam


What did I do to myself?


I ddnt mean to cause an argument but fozia u did it to your self.

I've answered your questions and haven't entered into any debates with anyone on this particular thread.




Wassalaam
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And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
silver
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« Reply #19 on: Sep 26, 2011 11:39 PM »

Sr. Fozia, I guess he confused you with some one else in the thread.
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jannah
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« Reply #20 on: Sep 27, 2011 02:03 AM »

Hmm I think in this thread sis Fozia = Jannah, Jannah=Se7en... Wink
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SlaveOfAllah
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« Reply #21 on: Sep 27, 2011 03:42 AM »

oh please forgive me @fozia...my mistake. asalaamu alaikum
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Asalaamu Alaikum
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« Reply #22 on: Sep 27, 2011 08:52 AM »

All I am saying is, it is legal where you are, so at least consider it.


Jannah, what's with this image?
 frenchbro
When I see it, the word French and the word bro do not come to mind.

It is more a case of the word village and the word people?
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jannah
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« Reply #23 on: Sep 27, 2011 06:06 PM »

Wow you made a joke MS? funny yeah i couldn't find any brother smileys...so just stuck in the french guy Wink
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Barr
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« Reply #24 on: Sep 28, 2011 10:44 AM »

Assalamualaikum

If you wear glasses, take them off - particularly in hi-risk areas.

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