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Author Topic: Difficult Questions Women Ask & How to answer them!! :D  (Read 2188 times)
jannah
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« on: Oct 19, 2011 06:59 AM »


Salams,

Inspired by AbuK's funny chat:  http://jannah.org/madina/index.php?topic=3987.msg30330#msg30330
(Yes it was in *fun* so don't worry!)

 I've decided out of the benevolence of my heart to help the bros on the board out...



So what (Muslim) women ask, what they mean and how you should answer:



1. Do I look fat (in this?)


Correct answer: No, of course not. (said casual and absolute, then exit as swiftly as possible before any follow ups Wink)

Translation of what she's really asking: Do you still think I'm pretty/attractive?



2. If I died would you marry someone else?


Correct answer:
(said mournfully after a pause) No, I don't think I could bear it.

Translation of what she's really asking: How much do you really value our marriage?



3. Why did you marry me?


Correct answer:
Because you're awesome and special. (optional add a 'We're soulmates')

Translation of what she's really asking:
Am I really special or would you have just married anyone?



4. Do you think X (hollywood/bollywood/her friend) is attractive?


Correct answer: For hollywood/bollywood: (struggle a bit and after pondering) I can see why some guys would find her attractive. For friend: (with horror and a manly exclamation of 'ewww!') No way. She's your friend!

Translation of what she's really asking: How much do you look at other women?



5. Do you love me?


Correct answer: Yes, very much. (add a I'm sorry I don't tell you enough)

Translation of what she's really asking:
Do you love me?


K The end Smiley


Here's the non-Muslim version (although i hate this site it was funny): http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_150/160_dating_advice.html

Add your own...

PS This post is also a bit of fun so don't get offended ppl!!
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Fozia
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« Reply #1 on: Oct 19, 2011 02:59 PM »

salam


With regards number one I have been known to look bemused and reply; well if you will insist in wrapping your arse in shiny faux leather jeggings than really you have nobody but yourself to blame. Next time listen to the mirror, when the butt blocks the view do not buy the outfit.

I guess my way would lead to a seriously expensive divorce suit tho!





Wassalaam
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And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
jannah
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« Reply #2 on: Oct 20, 2011 05:53 AM »

Fozia!!!  madauntie

lol that's definitely a wrong answer. hope u don't say that to your girlfriends either!!

no brother responses??? hmm well let's hope they learned somptin'  Wink
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jannah
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« Reply #3 on: Oct 20, 2011 06:12 PM »

Not sure if this site is funny or offensive?? http://halalflirting.tumblr.com/
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moderatesufi
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« Reply #4 on: Oct 21, 2011 07:30 PM »




1. Do I look fat (in this?)[/color]

I can't remember ever being asked that. But I do have a bad memory.

I'd just say yes.
Even if she wasn't fat I'd say yes.
Because most people can do with losing a bit.



2. If I died would you marry someone else?



Been asked that.
And I said yes.
Even if I wouldn't want to marry again I'd still say yes. Best to let her know that the kids would have someone to look after them if she has gone.




3. Why did you marry me?
[/color]


Been asked this lots of times.
I always say, well, cause you'd do.



4. Do you think X (hollywood/bollywood/her friend) is attractive? [/b][/color]

Been asked this.
Answer is nope. not my type. I am not really attracted to the Desi types.
I prefer girls from ...  .. ..  better.





5. Do you love me?


Answer is always:
What do you want me to do?

And it is always followed by me being told to do something I really don't want to do at all.

"Do you love me" means I am about to tell you to do something really nasty.
Even I know that.
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jannah
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« Reply #5 on: Oct 22, 2011 05:32 AM »

You can't really be a real person  Roll Eyes
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sadah
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Dont be sad...


« Reply #6 on: Oct 22, 2011 06:10 AM »

Now I'm sure moderatesufi is always on the other side..
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"Whoever rejects false deities and believes in Allah has grasped a firm handhold which will never break." Q 2:256"
austmuslimah
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« Reply #7 on: Oct 23, 2011 07:49 PM »

This doesnt really answer the question, but ive read this so many times I just wanted to add it here anyhow



What women say and what they really mean...

We need                                                                 I want
It's your decision                                                 The correct decision should be obvious by now
Do what you want                                                You'll pay for this later
We need to talk                                                 I need to complain
Sure...go ahead                                                  I don't want you to.
I'm not upset                                                        Of course I'm upset, you moron.
You're...so manly                                                You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
Hang the picture there                                        No, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise                                                  I noticed you were almost asleep.
Do you love me?                                                 I'm going to ask for something expensive.
How much do you love me?                                 I did something today you're really not going to like..
I'll be ready in a minute.                                           Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
Is my butt fat?                                                          Tell me I'm beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate.                         Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!?                                         [Too late, you're dead.]
Yes                                                                             No
No                                                                             No
Maybe                                                                     No
I'm sorry.                                                                    You'll be sorry.
I'm not yelling!                                                           Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.
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moderatesufi
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« Reply #8 on: Oct 23, 2011 08:23 PM »


Do you love me?                                                 I'm going to ask for something expensive.



Told you, "Do you love" means being asked to do something you don't want to do.
Being asked(told) to go somewhere in the middle of the night to buy a snack. Or having to drive her somewhere really far away the next day when I had already made plans.
Or being told to do something else that I don't want to do and is really unfair.
It is only used for unfair requests/demands, because for fair ones the "do you love me" isn't required. All that is required is the demand.


So when asked, I just cut to the chase and ask, "what do you want?".
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jannah
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« Reply #9 on: Oct 24, 2011 07:23 AM »

ws,

ignoring everything else  Roll Eyes i do think 'do u love me' means 'do u love me', but if she does say 'how MUCH do u love me' u might be in for it  madauntie Wink
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austmuslimah
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« Reply #10 on: Oct 24, 2011 04:25 PM »


So when asked, I just cut to the chase and ask, "what do you want?".

Shocked

ohhh thats not very nice, at least you can say "i love very much, you can always ask me for anything you want" ... or at least make your "what do you want" in a joking way 
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jannah
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« Reply #11 on: Oct 25, 2011 08:26 AM »

Salam,

I think the important thing to note here, as you said yourself, is that a woman can buy her own jewelry, chocolate etc. Most women have worked/work and have been spending their own money quite nicely on themselves and don't have a "need" for their husbands to do it, except that it shows them that he cares for and values her.

The point is that with these questions, she's actually asking you for emotional support. Which is probably the #1 thing a woman is looking for in a relationship. If she can't get this support from you, who is she supposed to get it from?




 



1. Do I look fat (in this?)[/color]

I can't remember ever being asked that. But I do have a bad memory.

I'd just say yes.
Even if she wasn't fat I'd say yes.
Because most people can do with losing a bit.



2. If I died would you marry someone else?



Been asked that.
And I said yes.
Even if I wouldn't want to marry again I'd still say yes. Best to let her know that the kids would have someone to look after them if she has gone.




3. Why did you marry me?
[/color]


Been asked this lots of times.
I always say, well, cause you'd do.



4. Do you think X (hollywood/bollywood/her friend) is attractive? [/b][/color]

Been asked this.
Answer is nope. not my type. I am not really attracted to the Desi types.
I prefer girls from ...  .. ..  better.





5. Do you love me?


Answer is always:
What do you want me to do?

And it is always followed by me being told to do something I really don't want to do at all.

"Do you love me" means I am about to tell you to do something really nasty.
Even I know that.
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Blessedgrandma
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« Reply #12 on: Nov 15, 2011 08:21 AM »

When I ask my husband, How much do you love me? Grin
He always replies, ' How many legs does it have and how much does it weight?' Roll Eyes

Most of you know I'm a farm girl, so you can just imagine why I get such a reply. Wink
And yes when I ask that question 9 out of 10 times I brought some critter home.
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moderatesufi
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« Reply #13 on: Nov 18, 2011 11:58 AM »

I have never ever known that question asked without a demand that follows?
Not about animals though.
If something needs to be bought, it is just bought.
So it is to do with me, having to do something really hard that I believe is not worth doing.
Like driving some  place an hour away to pick something up, when we are going there anyway in a couple of days so could do it then.
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