I was recently sent an email link by a friend which really made me think.
What made me ache with sorrow was the mention of Asiya (RA) the wife of Firaun.
As a general rule I have my favourite sahabah and prophets and companions and amongst them all I personally don’t give much thought to the wife of Firaun.
In the link brother Nouman Ali Khan speaks of her and her patience and her trust in Allah (well that’s what I got from it).
Many years ago before I had my girls I used to ache for a child, I felt utterly lacking in purpose without children, all the hadith and everything I read referred to women getting reward for being mothers… in all of that I never once considered the wife of Firaun who never had her own child, who endured the oppression of Firaun for the love of Allah, Asiya who is one of the ones promised Jannah.
I guess I have a little in common with a great lady (I’ll grasp at any old straw) for some reason I don’t feel so bad. I would not want to be in any other company.
I was talking with a friend a few weeks back and we were discussing life the universe and the secret to a perfectly raised cake which doesn’t go flat in the middle. When she remarked at how laid back I am, she was surprised I’m not bitter against ex.
Now my method of talking is to speak and let my brain catch up at its own pace, so long as nothing mean is said. So I told her that one thing I could never do was to be angry with the means with which I have come close to Allah (swt) and ex and my marriage bought me to a point in my life where I began to throw myself completely at Allahs mercy, I never before new what it was to trust implicitly in Allah and forsake everything else and I would not give up a moment of that or the sweetness of praying under cover of darkness and raising my hands in dua to Allah, or to feel the absolute sorrow and regret for my actions and to really truly ask Allah for his forgiveness, I would not have the hours of dhikr and the nafl salat and the ultimate certainty that Allah listens and he answers, sometimes so swiftly the prayer has not yet left ones lips.
And in return for all that, how could I hate that which bought me to my prayer mat, which made me pull my Quran out and recite with heartfelt earnestness, which made me steadfastly unshakeably certain in Allah…?
I told her if I was angry towards that person I would be ungrateful to Allah, and I will not be amongst those people if I can help it.
So I always make dua for ex when I remember him (usually before a court case) I make dua that Allah grant him Naik Hidaya.
Before I had told my friend this, I didn’t actually realise I felt this way, my heart always has my head is sometimes a little slow off the mark…….
I guess tho before I listened to Br. Nouman Ali Khan’s lecture and was reminded, I felt sad and stupid, a little for being silent and for being patient for so long or even at all, Brother Nouman Ali Khan has reminded me that perhaps I’m not so stupid after all, I’d like to think that maybe I walk in the shadows of one of the great ladies of Islam. I’d so love that.