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Author Topic: "Ash" as a nickname?  (Read 5600 times)
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« on: Mar 25, 2008 10:19 AM »


Salaams,

So wifey and her sibling party calls Ayesha 'ash', and its becoming her nick name. But for some reason I dont like it as a nick.

Do you believe that names have an affect on one's personality? I think they do... my name means "someone who protects" and sure as biryani do protect those who are dear to me (but dont we all... hmm...)

And 'ash' doesn't have a good meaning either.

So.... your thoughts please?

Wasalam.

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« Reply #1 on: Mar 25, 2008 12:02 PM »

slm Brother.

A person's name is the most personal of posessions and should be treated with respect.  To address correpondence to a person and spell the name incorrectly is showing a degree of disrespect for the person.  fez

In the same vein, a person should be addressed correctly at all times unless otherwise requested to do so. It is also up to the individual whose name is being shortened to decide whether they agree or disagree with their names being shortened or being called by a nick name.

However, as a mother, i have a mild fit when my son's name is disregarded and someone (whose identity we shall not reveal  Lips Sealed ) calls him BOY (!) or my daughter's name is pronounced raysa as opposede to Ra-EE-sa.  As finicky as it may sound, i find it very offensive (on behalf of my children) and put a stop to it / correct it all the time.  oldshaykh

 Undecided
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« Reply #2 on: Mar 25, 2008 01:23 PM »

 salamsmiley

Maybe I am old fashioned brother but when it comes to certain names shortening them or creating nicknames for them gets my goat  Angry

An example of this is a one time family friend is called Abida. A lovely name. She has now shortened it to "Abi".

Her daughters have (mashallah) such lovely names. Amnah is now "Ami" and Hajerah is not "Haj". I'm sorry but for me this is simply not acceptable. If you want your children to be called the shortened version of such lovely names just register them in the first place rather than giving them the lovely name in the first place  Angry

A name, from what I have read and been told by elders has a lot of influence on oneself. I'm pesonally against 'fashiony' names like Angelina (and I know a Muslim girl with such a name). I'm more for names like Hibah, Amnah, Abdul-Basit, Abdul-Hanan etc etc. If I am blessed with children then Inshallah I have every plan in at least giving them a good name to begin with.

You won't be the first brother to have such an issue and I'm sure you won't be the last. An uncle of mine changed my aunts name once they were married as her previous name had no meaning.

One of my in-laws has the name Parvez and to be honest I can't understand why you'd name your son that. If what I have read in the books about Islam is correct then a name like Parvez will only give way to an enemy. I won't get into politics but hhmmm I'm sure you all get what I mean.


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« Reply #3 on: Mar 25, 2008 11:18 PM »

As salaamu alaikum

Actually I thought I had posted a response to this earlier this morning; must not have taken because I had not yet had my morning coffee.

Anyway, the shortened version of my post is that nicknames (including shortened versions of the given name as well as ones that have no connection to the given name) can be a form of endearment from family and close friends and as such have no impact - positive nor negative - on the personality of the individual.  Also, nicknames, particulary shortened versions - help distinguish between two people with the same name in the same setting (i.e. the classroom) and even in this day and age can help eliminate discrimination based on pre-judgement.

As a term of endearment for example, my aunt always called me "crummy crutch", I have no idea how that name came about but even after I became a mom for the first time and during my last conversation with her before her death I was still "crummy crutch".  If I had been called that by anyone else after reaching adulthood I would have objected, but because it was her and it was a childhood moniker I accepted it with the love behind it.  Now if anyone were to call me that today, well let's just say I won't be kind.

As another example, my children were known to family as "pudding", "bebe" and "birdie".  My maternal grandmother was "gogo" - long story but even my friends began to call her that as did my eldest child; my younger children weren't blessed to have her in their lives as she died before they were born.  My eldest usually refers to me as her "mini me" only because we look exactly alike but she's taller than I am. 

From the professional side I'm known by my first and middle initials.  The rational behind this is that it enabled me to apply for jobs without revealing that I was female and therefore my resume was judged on its content/merit and not dismissed because I was female (and yes it does happen which is why I work in the industry that I do to strive to put an end to such discrminatory practices).  Often when I referred to by my given name at work I delay in responding because very few people know what it is let alone call me by it and I often cringe because naturally someone mispronounces it so I'd much prefer people not even bother to try.

As parents we must be aware of the names we give our children.  Yes, we may like the meanings or even an individual that bore the same name, but if it is an unusual one or one with a unique spelling it can and generally does present problems for that child as they get older.  And some nicknames don't stick beyond a certain age, nor are they appropriate after a certain age.  For example, a son named for his father being called "junior" is fine when he's young, but there's something totally wrong about a man of let's say 80 still being referred to as "junior".  Sometimes it is frustrating when a child has to keep correcting people when they mispronounce their name especially when it is a adult and children are taught to respect their elders and not correct them even when they are wrong.  <insert "been there, done that>.

Also, when we call our children by nicknames they can readily tell when they are being called if it is for a good reason or because they are in trouble (you know suddenly they are called by their given name, strikes fear instantly). 

One thing we must always remember is the saying "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me".  This is so true, names or nicknames as this is the topic thread, can only cause harm if we allow them to otherwise they are meaningless.  If we teach that lesson to our children when they are young, then the names (often unkind ones) that other children may assign to them won't bother them one bit because our children will already know who they are and that is most important.

As salaamu alaikum

Fa'izah
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« Reply #4 on: Mar 25, 2008 11:21 PM »

wsalaam,

good points everyone

hmm what about Aish (like AY SH) if you really need to shorten it? I think Aisha is kind of short anyway. Is there a reason you need to shorten it?

if i heard just ash i would think 'hindu' name cuz isn't that aishwariya rai's nickname?
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« Reply #5 on: Mar 26, 2008 03:02 AM »

I think it is sweet and shows affection if you give them a nickname or shorten it. But if the nickname or shortened name does not have a good meaning then it is no good. So what is the meaning of Ash?  And I wonder if the nickname or shortned name has no meaning is that okay? Because Im gonna face the dilemma soon w sisters baby coming up inshAllah

salaams
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« Reply #6 on: Mar 26, 2008 07:28 AM »


I think nicknames are cute for little kids, but we should stop using them once they get to a certain age. My little brother called his little brother "baby" for years, and we slowly made him stop because it just sounded so odd.

I've heard of 30-year-olds being called "Lallu" or "Pappu" or some silly nickname like that, not just by one person but by everyone, in fact I doubt half those people even know their real names. I'd be really annoyed if that was me!

Bottom line: cute for kids but not for adults (unless it's an elder relative using it like sis. Faizah's).

Wassalam
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« Reply #7 on: Mar 26, 2008 09:00 AM »

Salaams,

My nickname is... well, nevermind...

And another bad thing with nicknames is that they are dayam hard to let go off, so why keep them in the first place? And I agree, why keep such beautiful names like Ayesha, Abida or Quratul'ain? (okay, I take that last one back , with no offense to any Quratul'ains reading me).

Its also true that most nicknames are kept in love of the child, but wouldn't it then be the sunnah to give nicknames for somebody's good quality? But then again, Ali radiAllahu Anhu was nicknamed Abu-turab by the Nabi [saaw] (was it?) and that meant "the one with mud", and Ali (ra) then liked being called Abu-Turab... so, may be they all are good if assigned with love? hmm...

And Ash isn't exactly hindu nickname, because Ashlene/Ashley is also ash. But it means: "the powdery residue of matter that remains after burning", which is not good. And if wifey and her sibs call Ayesha ash, because its ashwayria's nick, then I have 10 x more issue with it.

On another note, I call my daughter Ayesha Mysha with love :-s, and my niece Zainab as zaino, and at time, zaina maeno :-ss ...



Salaams,
-me

PS: This one doctor uncle of mine always calls me Nauman, I told him quite a few times that nickname "Nomi" doesn't make me Nauman, but my uncle keeps forgetting. Then I told myself that its probably an "uncle thing" until this bro-in-law of mine, called me Nauman... man, was I disappointed !

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« Reply #8 on: Mar 26, 2008 04:51 PM »

hmm the meaning doesnt seem any bad... (I know what ash is but I thought there was another meaning)  and if you call niece zainab zaino, let her call Aisha ash.. no tension, nothing to worry bout, its innocent and sweet gesture from her mom and friends...and you dont like (then dont call her that ) its good then she will know her real name also
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« Reply #9 on: Mar 27, 2008 12:40 PM »

As salaamu alaikum

Okay, when I read that the nickname was "Ash" I didn't think of what ash actually is.  I admit, I thought of the character in Pokemon (my son and those cartoons).  Anyway, with the qualities of this Ash, the Pokemon trainer, I think of the adverturer that he is, his love for his Pokemon, his strength and endurance to keep achieving (okay in this case achieving gym badges).  So with those qualities not a bad thing.

As salaamu alaikum

Fa'izah
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« Reply #10 on: Mar 27, 2008 12:50 PM »


Quote
And I agree, why keep such beautiful names like Ayesha, Abida or Quratul'ain? (okay, I take that last one back , with no offense to any Quratul'ains reading me).

LOL, I know of a guy called Quratul'ain. No offence though *ducks head*
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« Reply #11 on: Apr 01, 2008 09:50 AM »

Slm

I have this new colleague at work and she prefers to be called by her nick name as opposed to her given name.  I really like her given name (it's a very pretty name of Zulu origin) and much prefer to call her by this name and find a nick name at work is not very professional.  I guess she may have thought that it would be difficult for people to pronounce so prefers the nick name.  I think that is sad for a person to think that they need to compromise on their name. *shrug*

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« Reply #12 on: Apr 01, 2008 10:11 AM »

salam

I think it's nice to have a nickname...

My parents used to call me "sash"... and my brother used to call me theta (like the angle, long story)... they stopped eventually... but even to this day if they say "sash" or "theta"... i love it.

Of course...in school and stuff, my parents were VERY insistent that my name should be pronounced correctly...which is a very good idea.

Nicknames were not unheard of in the Prophet (saw)'s time either (eg. Abu Bakr, Abu Hurairah).... so as long as you are not insulting someone... it can't be that wrong can it?

Wasalaam.
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« Reply #13 on: Apr 01, 2008 12:53 PM »

Slm

I have this new colleague at work and she prefers to be called by her nick name as opposed to her given name.  I really like her given name (it's a very pretty name of Zulu origin) and much prefer to call her by this name and find a nick name at work is not very professional.  I guess she may have thought that it would be difficult for people to pronounce so prefers the nick name.  I think that is sad for a person to think that they need to compromise on their name. *shrug*



As salaamu alaikum

In the workplace it depends on the nickname to determine if it is professional or not.  I wouldn't suggst things such as "pookey" or "lil "anything" but take for example, we often refer to my boss as "Dr. G", which is actually appropriate, she has a doctorate so therefore is deemed a doctor and her last name begins with a G.  There are quite of few of Asian (in this instance Chinese) employees who opt for more anglo sounding names which is their choice but it does create problems when looking for them in employee rosters and their "native" name is listed instead, then I'm sometimes not sure if I actually have the correct person. 

Where nicknames do present challenges in the workplace is when they give the appearance of changing gender.  I worked with someone who didn't like her given name and so we all referred to her by her chosen nickname; problem is when we used that people thought she was a man.

I can undersand your new co-worker's concern because I've still had people mispronounce my first name and it makes me nutty.

Now another of my workplace pet peeves is how only staff deemed professional are introduced/referred to as "Mr., Ms." whatever their last name is and clerical/secretarial staff are generally referred to only by their first names as if they don't have a last name.

I have such an interesting job and deal with all kinds of people.

As salaamu alaikum

Fa'izah
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« Reply #14 on: Apr 01, 2008 03:53 PM »

As salaamu alaikum

In the workplace it depends on the nickname to determine if it is professional or not.  I wouldn't suggst things such as "pookey" or "lil "anything" but take for example, we often refer to my boss as "Dr. G", which is actually appropriate, she has a doctorate so therefore is deemed a doctor and her last name begins with a G.

The name she prefers is PINKY...

Ya we have a "Doc" to who has a doctorate in something or the other so i do agree that those sort of nicks are just part of the job i suppose.

Quote
  There are quite of few of Asian (in this instance Chinese) employees who opt for more anglo sounding names which is their choice but it does create problems when looking for them in employee rosters and their "native" name is listed instead, then I'm sometimes not sure if I actually have the correct person. 
  Precisely! 

Quote
I can undersand your new co-worker's concern because I've still had people mispronounce my first name and it makes me nutty.
  i agree with you here, however i think it is sad that we can force people to opt for a nick when faced with a problem of pronunciation.  It seems like a compromise more on the part of the person whose name is being "nicked" than the person who does not make the effort to learn the correct pronunciation.

Quote
Now another of my workplace pet peeves is how only staff deemed professional are introduced/referred to as "Mr., Ms." whatever their last name is and clerical/secretarial staff are generally referred to only by their first names as if they don't have a last name.
  LOL, we have a situation where all the clerks working in Government Offices eg. cashiers in the Municipal Offices will never introduce themselves as anyone other than Miss SURNAME or Mrs SURNAME.  Never a first name.  I think that is just as rude.


Quote
I have such an interesting job and deal with all kinds of people.
Alhumdulillah, sounds nice..what job would that be?

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« Reply #15 on: Apr 04, 2008 11:55 AM »

as salaamu alaykum,


The Prophet saw used to call his wife A'isha (radiAllahu anhaa) "A'ish" as a type of endearment/nickname...  You can find in some ahadeeth the Prophet saw saying to her, 'Ma baaluki ya A'ish?' ('What's wrong A'ish?')  I think it's very sweet. shy flowers4u
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« Reply #16 on: Apr 04, 2008 07:26 PM »


Assalamualaikum,

Quote
The Prophet saw used to call his wife A'isha (radiAllahu anhaa) "A'ish" as a type of endearment/nickname...  You can find in some ahadeeth the Prophet saw saying to her, 'Ma baaluki ya A'ish?' ('What's wrong A'ish?')

But isn't A'isha just the feminine form of A'ish? In which case, the beautiful meaning of the name isn't lost Smiley

I'm not saying it's wrong to give nicknames but given that the Prophet (peace be upon him) advised people to give their children names with good meanings, a nickname that may completely replace the original (as is often the case) and isn't really meaningful (such as Ash) shouldn't be used frequently.

Wassalam,

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« Reply #17 on: May 08, 2008 11:46 AM »

Salaams,

We've nick named her Aish ever since sis se7en posted Smiley

But my elder bro is an aalim, so he wants to see some evidence/narration  oldshaykh

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« Reply #18 on: May 08, 2008 05:46 PM »

Salaam..

Sorry I'm coming into this a bit late...I was browsing through Darussalaam here in Riyadh... and I found a booklet called "Islamic Etiquettes for a Newborn Child"....

I bought it for future reference only, please do not ask me if I'm expecting Smiley

Anyway...here's what I found interesting: point # 7 is titled "Giving a nickname to a small child" and it reads...

It is confirmed from the Sunnah of the Prophet (s) to give the child a nickname. This is done by calling the male child Aboo-so-and-so, or calling the girl Umm-so-and-so.  This is done to strenghten the character of the child and honor him. It also keeps the child away from picking up bad nicknames.

I thought that was cool Smiley and maybe relevant Smiley

Wasalaam.
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« Reply #19 on: May 09, 2008 07:49 AM »

Salaams,

So what are you doing in Riyadh? Do they have bungie jumping setup there ?

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« Reply #20 on: May 11, 2008 12:02 AM »

Assalamu alaykum

The Mother of the Believers, `Aa'isha bint Abi Bakr (may Allah be pleased with both of them), narrated:

One day, the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, "O `Aa'ish!  Here is Jibril, conveying salaam [greetings of peace] to you."  I replied, "Wa `alayhi al-salaam wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuh [And upon him be peace, Allah's Mercy and blessings].  You (i.e. the Messenger of Allah) see what I don't see."

Related by Bukhari in his Sahih, Virtues of the Companions of the Prophet (may allah bless him and grant him peace), "Virtue of A'isha (may Allah be pleased with her)," hadith no. 3484. 

“By Allah, if Muhammad b. Idris did not know with certainty that he will see his Lord in the afterlife, he would not have worshipped him in this life!” (Muhammad b. Idris al-Shafi'i)
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