// Is it wrong?
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Author Topic: Is it wrong?  (Read 1161 times)
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Anonymous
Guest
« on: Feb 22, 2012 05:23 PM »


Assalamualaikoum,
 
      I' m checking my husband's e mails on a daily basis , and whenever I find a message related to datelines, sex, I DELETE it hoping to save him from temptation . I know that wouldn't be enough to stop him because his imane is a bit weak ,  I've been doing this since I have discoverd through web history   that he is using chat rooms .I'm really suffering , I wish his Imane was strong to prevent him from things that trigger the wrath of Allah.Please help me ,tell me if what I am DOING IS WRONG ?I wold stop immediately for the sake of allah.
Anonymous
Guest
« Reply #1 on: Feb 22, 2012 10:25 PM »

salam


Sis, I can't comment whether you're right or wrong.

However I do think you need to seek out some real life help for yourself regarding your husbands habit, you can't suffer in silence as it clearly will not right itself. Speak to family ask for practical support and help in getting your husband to change his behaviour.



Wassalaam
Anonymous
Guest
« Reply #2 on: Feb 23, 2012 07:43 PM »

I need you advice brothers and sisters . Please post your replies.Tell me what to do, I'm really confused.the only reply I got is not really decisive ,it doesn't say if what I'm diong is wrong or right.Please help me!
Anonymous
Guest
« Reply #3 on: Feb 23, 2012 08:31 PM »

Sis, what I can suggest is that... you should try talking to him indirectly about how people these days are so addicted to porn/chat stuff and it is such a bad thing and all.
Also, in your free time, maybe you should go out together... like spend time with each other, find some activities that you do together. That way he will understand the importance of a good companionship.
And I don't think what you are doing is wrong.
Anonymous
Guest
« Reply #4 on: Feb 23, 2012 08:44 PM »

Salams,

I do think it's wrong to spy on your husband's emails. That kind of spam is normal for every inbox. He would probably just delete them out. But you seeing them might make a big deal about it and cause more trust issues...?

Better to work on your relationship I think.
Anonymous
Guest
« Reply #5 on: Feb 24, 2012 06:59 AM »

 salam
   thank you so much for your advice,I feel much better . I've already tried talking to him indirectly about the issue of 'haraam' chat rooms , I told him that Muslim people who do that seem to ignore that Almighty Allah is watching them , They think that as long as it's not rea adultery ,there's nothing wrong with that ,I carried on saying that it's modern adultery online and the consequences are really terrible, the heart becomes devoid of imane if no action is taken . While hearing all that , I COULD feel some kind of guilt inside him , it showed clearly in his eyes ,his voice, he even ended up by having a headache.thanks God, this a good sign , but he has to strenghten his 'imane if he wants to overcome the temptation of those messages which I CALL"devil's invitaion to hell'. Once again, thanks to all those who have replied to my message. sis
Anonymous
Guest
« Reply #6 on: Mar 20, 2012 02:10 AM »

I would suggest you ask yourself are you his wife or his mother?
Please go and talk to him and share your concerns and talk things out.
Or a trusted family member maybe?
Anonymous
Guest
« Reply #7 on: Mar 20, 2012 04:07 AM »

There is absolutely nothing wrong in spying your husband's mails more so when he is clearly on the wrong side of morals. Infact if your act prevents him from a sin you will inshallah earn reward for it Smiley. So get clear of whatever guilt you are nursing! But the real challenge is to get him to change his behaviour from inside. You said you have already talked to him some bit and he is showing positive signs mashallah. What you can do next is to make yourself more attractive and more available to him. Take the initative for physical intimacy....don't wait for him. Browse the web and find out whta men want when it comes to physical intimacy. Give him 'there' in abundance and see what happens....u will be surprized with the result  Shocked. These are one of the sly things women have to resort to sometimes to set rest of the things right. Do it WITHOUT guilt....you will be doing a favour to your husband and your relationship. Cheers!

P.S: Thank God its an anonymous thread otherwise I could not have given you such sincere advice. Embarrassed
Anonymous
Guest
« Reply #8 on: Mar 20, 2012 05:06 AM »

Although I've nothing to hid I would not want my husband spying on me. I think it's rude and immature.
That being said, we also know each others passwords and if we want to take a looksey we just ask one another.
Just my .02 cents
Anonymous
Guest
« Reply #9 on: Mar 20, 2012 08:36 AM »

I'd feel extremeeeeeeeeeeely uncomfortable giving someone else my password, or even them using my computer!

I think we once discussed here about couples using one email!? and some of us felt like it was like sharing a toothbrush... grosss. Although it does seem like most couples end up sharing their passwords.

I have no problem with someone coming and sitting next to me and us looking through our email together though (which i do with my bro or sis sometimes, or friends). I have a freak files folder though, so it is entertaining Cheesy

Maybe if you want to spy, just go and sit next to him or look over his shoulder and ask him 'oh what's that email about?'  ewww it's a dating service! delete that and watch to make sure he does it Wink
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