// How do I make myself a better person/Muslim?
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« on: Feb 23, 2012 06:52 PM »


Assalam alakium,

I'm trying to make myself a better Muslim/person.  But sometimes I catch myself talking about someone, or telling a friend about me and my husbands problems and I have anger issues where I can't bite my tongue.  I've read hadiths stating that this is haram and I repent to Allah because I feel bad and guilty that I did this. How do I control my tongue? Whenever I do the above I know my good deeds decrease. I do pray and I have read the Quran yet I feel like a bad person. Can anyone give me advice?

Thank you.

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« Reply #1 on: Feb 24, 2012 07:22 AM »

wsalam,

It's a good idea to try to figure out why or when you do those things and then try to find alternatives for them. Like if you seem to do it alot with a certain person avoid them or when you know you're going to be angry about something or start you leave the room and make wudu right away.

Everyone has sins. We are human beings, not angels!! Increase your good deeds and surround yourself with good things and iA it will get better.


UPDATE: I just posted this article that should be beneficial for you iA!! -->  10 Steps to Increasing your Iman
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« Reply #2 on: Feb 25, 2012 08:48 PM »

Safeguarding the Tongue

by Maulana Ashraf Ali Thanwi (Rahmatullahi alayhi)

Translated by Moulana M. Mahomedy.

1. Do not speak without thinking. Once you have pondered over what you wish to say and you are convinced that it will not be badly received, only then should you speak.

2. It is a sin to address a person or speak of him in the following terms: "he has no Imaan", "may Allah's punishment, curse, or anger descend on him", "may he enter hell", etc. It is a sin to speak in this manner irrespective whether one is addressing a human or an animal. If the person who has been addressed in this manner does not deserve such remarks, then all these curses will actully descend on the person who uttered them.

3. If anyone addresses you in this useless manner, you have the right to reply in the same way. However, you cannot exceed what that person says. If you exceed, you will be committing a sin.

4. Do not be two-faced whereby you "play according to the tune" of one person when you are in his company, and according to the "tune" of another person when in the latter's company.

5. Don't ever back-bite. Nor should you listen to such back-biting and tale-bearing.

6. Never ever speak a lie.

7. Do not praise a person directly. Nor should you exaggerate in praising him in his absence.

8. Don't ever involve yourself in gheebah. Gheebah means speaking in the absence of a person in such a way that if he were to hear it, he would be grieved. This is irrespective of whether what you say is the truth or not. If what you say is false, it is regarded as slander or defamation. This is even more sinful.

9. Do not argue with a person. Do not try to give precedence to your opinion.

10. Do not laugh excessively as this causes the illumination of the heart (and countenance) to disappear.

11. If you have made gheebah of a person, seek his forgiveness. If you are unable to do so, make dua-e-maghfirah on his behalf. In doing this, there is a hope that you will be forgiven on the day of judgement.

12. Do not make false promises.

13. Do not laugh in such a way that the other person feels insulted or offended. (In other words, do not laugh mockingly at anyone)

14. Do not be boastful of something that you own or some quality that you possess.

15. Do not mention things that you hear from here and there because the majority of such rumours are false.

Source



Anger Management in Islam
 

"...Surely my prayer and my sacrifice, my life and my death are for Allah, the Lord of the Worlds..." (Qur'an, 6:162)
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