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jannah
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« on: Feb 27, 2012 05:39 AM »


I'm sure all the married ladies will be forwarding this around Wink -- J.

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Couples are less likely to divorce if when the husband helps more with housework, shopping and childcare, new research revealed today.
The Times


Also see
Another article: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1278137/Divorce-likely-husband-helps-housework.html

The study of 3,500 British couples after the birth of their first child found that the more husbands helped, the lower the incidence of divorce.

Economists have previously argued that rising divorce rates, which began in the early 1960s, are linked with steady increases in the numbers of married women working.

It was claimed that marriages where men take responsibility for paid work and women stay at home leave both spouses better off.

But the new study, from the London School of Economics and Political Science, explodes the theory that marriages are most stable when men focus on paid work and women are responsible for housework.

It showed instead that fathers’ contribution to housework and childcare stabilises marriage, regardless of mothers’ employment status.

The research, “Men’s Unpaid Work and Divorce: Reassessing Specialisation and Trade”, was carried out by Wendy Sigle-Rushton, one of several UK academics in the Gender Equality Network (GeNet), part of the Economic and Social Research Council’s (ESRC) Priority Network Programme.

The findings are published in the latest edition of Feminist Economics.

Dr Sigle-Rushton, senior lecturer in social policy at LSE, said: “Economists have spent a good deal of time examining and trying to explain the positive association between female employment and divorce.“However in doing so they have paid very little attention to the behaviour of men.

“This research addresses that oversight and suggests fathers’ contribution to unpaid work at home stabilises marriage regardless of mothers’ employment status.”

Dr Sigle-Rushton’s research analysed data on married couples who had their first child in 1970, a time when most women with young children stayed at home.

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akhan
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« Reply #1 on: Feb 27, 2012 05:56 AM »

I disagree..and this is not the only factor
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jannah
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« Reply #2 on: Feb 27, 2012 06:32 AM »

How did I know a bro was gonna say t hat!!! madauntie
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austmuslimah
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« Reply #3 on: Feb 27, 2012 07:57 AM »

I think reasons for divorce are very multi-factorial. That being said, I'm sure being slack around the house def doesn't help.
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Fozia
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« Reply #4 on: Feb 27, 2012 09:23 AM »

salam


A man who doesn't bother doing his share of household tasks is one who is showing contempt for his partner.

Wives do tend to end up doing all household chores and desi guy (especially) are bought up to not even pick up their own plates after eating, because they are the breadwinner (big whoop to that).

Being a breadwinner myself, I can tell you if I outsourced all my household tasks I'd be paying out more than I'd be bringing in thro my own income, that is cooking, cleaning, laundry, ironing, childminding etc. They don't come cheap.

I also really hate the take that anything a man does within his own household is considered 'helping' no love it's called not living like a slob. It also panders to the whole it's not work, staying at home, cooking cleaning and taking care of children is work, it's also excrusicatingly boring, and utterly thankless.

Anyone who wishes to fester in their own filth should ensure they mention this point when sending rishta proposals to prospectives, after all it's not like housework is work, or that it makes or breaks marriages is it....




Wassalaam
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akhan
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« Reply #5 on: Feb 27, 2012 11:13 AM »

I didn't mean to say that men shouldn't help out. But, if they do, divorce is unlikely to happen, I don't think so. I'm saying this out of experience, the opposite happened in my family.
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Mubaraka
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« Reply #6 on: Feb 27, 2012 12:01 PM »

There are several factors which may lead couples to divorce.So surely, taking part in household chores along with the wife is not a sure shot way to avoid it.

But what the original article wants to put across is,that women have high regards for men who are caring and sensitive enough to share the household work.A man like that would definitely earn brownie points.

A woman may tend to ignore other little shortcomings of a man if she finds him kind and caring enough.She would otherwise not stop herself from complaining about those said shortcomings.




 
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jannah
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« Reply #7 on: Feb 28, 2012 06:10 AM »

wsalam,

Hmmm definitely an interesting study. Obviously it's not the only factor in divorce (ie a cause) but why is it a major correlation here? Very interesting...

Maybe guys who help around the house just see marriage differently - like a partnership and less focused on the traditional gender roles. And perhaps that correlates to an even give and take in the relationship and thus less divorce.

I definitely see a lot of very unhappy couples where the woman does everything relating to house and kids and the resentment does build up, regardless of if she's a housewife or how much he's bringing home. Those guys are also very unwilling for their wives to do anything out of the box as well so maybe it is all related somehow...  Huh?
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umm ibraheem
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« Reply #8 on: Mar 01, 2012 09:21 PM »

I think the key is appreciation, actual spoken appreciation, not just 'he/she knows I appreciate what they do, why do I need to say it?'

I've seen a wife happily bend over backwards for her husband because he was daily giving her kind words, how wonderful her food is, how lovely she looked, etc. She also worked outside the house and did everything inside, she didn't want him to do anything in the house, her choice. And they both were quite happy with eachother.

Kind words go a long way.

Helping in the home can be negative if the husband is helping because he thinks the wife doesn't do a good enough job and lets her know that. i've seen that happen too.

Anyways, just my opinion.
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jannah
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« Reply #9 on: Mar 02, 2012 06:26 AM »

ws,

Interesting views from the sisters... where's all the bros besides akhan in this???
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akhan
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« Reply #10 on: Mar 02, 2012 07:31 AM »

ws,

Interesting views from the sisters... where's all the bros besides akhan in this???

you scared them off with that rolling pin wielding smiley Tongue
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maryamarub
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VERILY ALLAH IS WITH THOSE WHO ARE PATIENT


« Reply #11 on: Mar 05, 2012 02:24 PM »

truth be told i appreciate my hubby more coz he helps out and even wen he does smtin to annoy me I tend to ignore coz I know he'll do somtin sweet for me later on esp if i am tired
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silver
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« Reply #12 on: Mar 05, 2012 05:41 PM »

Yes I would agree too. Even if the husband helps a little bit, it shows that he cares and appreciates all the hard work.
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lucid
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« Reply #13 on: Mar 06, 2012 05:05 PM »

let's just face it.  most muslim guys are just selfish.  so guys who aren't selfish tend to be married for longer.

more importantly, instead of helping clean up, if  more guys just showed patience and didn't threaten their wives and treated them as human beings, then they wouldn't get dumped.

i can tell you sooooooooo many sad stories. yesterday i felt like slapping one guy at my university because of douchebagginess. 

but arsenal are playing today. so i want everybody to be optimistic and not all gloomy and unhappy.

Hulk smash Milan!

Hulk is Arsenal!
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