// UK Muslim kinda question sorry if its silly
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« on: Mar 01, 2012 10:43 PM »


Just would like some advice if able please.

OK let me start by saying that im from the UK im 24 and I don’t have any religion as I don’t want to pick  one until I know what’s right for me and im “white” don’t know if that will make any difference to my question just trying to give you guys as much info as possible.

I work with a girl who is a Muslim and she is 27 I have known her for about 3 years. She does all the fasting and stuff but she smokes which from what ive been reading is abit of a no no and we have been hanging out for abit at work more and when I was in the lift she kissed me and for the past month we have been getting closer and doing stuff that you would only do with a girlfriend or wife we have not had sex as she said when we started fooling around that we can do anything but sex as she would need to be married for it (which im cool with as I agree) however she wont tell anyone about us, she wont introduce me to her two older brothers because she said they would basically kill me for what we have been doing as im not a Muslim which no disrespect sounded silly to me so I start to try and learn if that was true but not knowing any muslims had to resort to checking the net. I was going to go down to a  mosque about 5 miles from me but I didn’t want to in case I would offend anyone by going there as a none Muslim (I know it might sound silly) so that’s why im here to try and learn so hope you guys can help me out and give any advice.

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« Reply #1 on: Mar 02, 2012 06:38 AM »

Hi L.Dog,

Well this is very interesting!! In our religion, having any type of boyfriend/girlfriend relationship before marriage is not allowed, and things like touching, kissing, premarital sex etc are really not allowed!! This is because men and women are supposed to respectfully approach each other for marriage and have commitment on both sides (ie marriage) before this.

So not sure how to help you exactly. It sounds like she may be not so practicing. (The smoking though I have to say some Muslim scholars allow, but it is disliked-- for men or women.)

Honestly, it sounds like you would like to make the relationship more than what it is and would like to know more about her and her religion so maybe it would be good to talk to her about it. She can teach you more things about Islam and Muslims and I'm sure the Mosque would be fine with you visiting and talking to the people there! You definitely wouldn't offend anyone by going!! Most Mosques are pretty welcoming here in the US, I'd assume the same for the UK! (I've heard good things about the East London Mosque and the Regents Park Mosque.)

I just also want to add that maybe she just wants to try something "forbidden" and doesn't want to do anything more than that! In that case, it would be good for you to know so your feelings don't get hurt. She may also really like you but doesn't think you'd be interested in taking the relationship to a higher level by getting to know her religion and family etc. So definitely talk to her and see what happens!

Hope everything goes well,
Ok take care!!

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