// Marriage ?
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« on: Mar 10, 2012 08:50 AM »


i have very recentley reverted to islam.
It is the best decison of my life, however i worry about my future regarding marriage.
Even though people deny it, different cultures dont tend to marry outside their race.
Such as: pakistani , bengali and arabic.
I am worried where this leaves me as i am fulyl english no different ethnic background.
Will i be accepted by someone's family as a muslim wife?

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« Reply #1 on: Mar 10, 2012 10:27 AM »

as salaam aley kum sister,
its true that people prefer to marry within thier own race but there are no watertight compartments as such. you have a good chance to find a good spouse from a different race. But another important point to consider is that muslims of these other races also carry a lot of cultural baggage with them which you may not be able to handle. do not feel dejected that they may not choose you. Instead undersatnd that they may not be appropraite for u. if I were you I would look for someone who has close connections with my own culture so that I don't have the added burden of adopting to a different way of life and thought. Look out for english converts like yourself. there may not be too many but pray to Allah tala for a good, rightous muslim spouse from among your own people.
In case you do decide to marry outside your race please ensure that the person is marrying you for the right reasons and not for some worldly benefit like citizenship, financial security etc. There are too many new converts out there who end up being fooled into terrible relationships this way.
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« Reply #2 on: Mar 10, 2012 04:33 PM »

As salaamu alaikum --

New converts, especially women, get a lot of pressure to "hurry up" and get married.  The unsuitable matches that are sometimes "offered" to new Muslimahs is mind boggling: ex-convicts, current convicts, illegal aliens, jobless, multiple divorces, deadbeat dads. So be wary and learn as much as you can about any candidate for marriage.

It's important not to rush into marriage. Take your time and get used to being a Muslim and learn as much as you can.

And when you decide that it's time to get married, be picky.  VERY picky.  There are plenty of men of all races that could be a great husband to you. Be prepared to spend some time looking for the right one; it will be time well spent.
Nafs
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« Reply #3 on: Mar 13, 2012 05:58 AM »

You'll be fine InshaAllah ..but in generall ..this is for those who even have lots of guys from the same ethnicity ...it seems to be taking longer to find the right one ..so don't despair if it dosen't work out right away or seems to be taking a long time in general.
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« Reply #4 on: Mar 15, 2012 11:42 AM »

wsalam,

You'll definitely have no problems!! There are a lot of Muslim bros that like to marry converts. But for now spend your time learning about Islam and your rights. Make sure you have a Wali and know people in the community to help you become a strong Muslimah. Concentrate on your prayers and going to classes and inshallah the rest will fall into place.


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