// insoluble problems, and the cure
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timbuktu
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« on: Mar 29, 2008 06:10 PM »


peace be upon you

Why do we suffer from almost insoluble problems, and what is the cure?

This is in the light of my experiences and something of the deen that I remember.

·   What happens is almost always due to one’s own mistakes. E.g. we say something that becomes a wish for hard times, or at least expresses our readiness to brave such times. I give here an example from my life. I was not given a directorship, and I said I don’t care, I don’t need or want it. Result: I never got it at my place of work. Similarly I was denied promotion many times, in the initial stages, when I was bypassed for promotion, I said haughtily: “So what, I do not care. I have fifteen years before I retire, I can wait.” Result: I got my promotion just before retirement. I was reminded of this statement of mine when I retired, and I had never given a thought to what I had said.

So it was for health, for housing, for anything that I suffered from, or was not able to get, I expressed disdain. Result: I either did not get it, or got is very late in life. And this is true of matters pertaining to the deen, too. When I came back to Pakistan, I said I would Islamise my life gradually. It has been very, very slow. Result: Despite my age, I have a very long way to go compared to others.

A friend’s wife had a stroke of partial paralysis, and was hospitalized. Whe we visited her, she confided that she had been praying that whatever punihment she was likely to get in the Hereafter, she wished to get it in this world. I told her this was precisely what a Shahabi had wished, and became severely ill. The Prophet :swas: visited him and told him something like: Subhanallah, you do not have the strength to endure such hardship. Why didn’t you ask Allah for forgiveness.”
 
Moral & suggestion: Do not express disdain. Keep thanking Allah for His fanours, and keep asking Him for more of them. None of us can do without.

And make Istaghfaar - lots of it.
Fozia
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« Reply #1 on: Mar 29, 2008 07:32 PM »

salam

I completely agree with your observations. My mum has always stopped us from saying negative things, she has always maintend that one does not know when a throw away comment or curse will be granted.

Which is why I figure that the best thing to say in a bad situation is the duaa Umm Salma prayed when her husband passed away.

Wassalaam

And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
ume bilal
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« Reply #2 on: Mar 29, 2008 10:57 PM »

Assalomo Ailkum.
Could you please let me know the du"ah Umm Salma Prayed?
Many Thanks.
JJ
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« Reply #3 on: Mar 30, 2008 12:11 AM »

As salaamu alaikum

Guess I'd better watch my statements even more from now on.   Lips Sealed    I've often heard reference to the "self-fulfilling prophecy" but never really paid it much attention because I don't think I've ever said that a disappointment didn't matter to me because the important ones do matter and cause sadness when they don't happen.

I too would like to know what the du'a is.

As salaamu alaikum

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« Reply #4 on: Mar 30, 2008 12:53 AM »

salam

it's basically the prayer one prayers on hearing of a muslims death, and then theres a bit added on which means 'may Allah grant me something better in exchange for my loss'.

I cant find the arabic version of it online.

but it goes something like;
innah lillah wa inna elayhai rajeoon, alhumma ajarni fi museebatee waqhlifli khayrun min ha.

I'll keep looking see if I can find it.

Umm Salmah really loved her husband and he her, and she told him she would never marry after him, her husband told her he would never marry after her, but wanted for her to marry should he die first. When he passed away such was her sorrow she never thought she would have a husband better than he....Then the beloved Prophet SAW proposed to her and she accepted, which granted her duaa.


Wassalaam

And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
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« Reply #5 on: Mar 30, 2008 07:51 AM »

 walaikumsalaam

So much truth to that.  I've noticed an uncanny thing about my husband: he never says anything negative.  We're parking in the busiest parking lot and I'm like, "man we'll never find a spot."  And he's like... "inshaAllah we'll get the best spot."

And then we did, Alhamdulillah.

I think emitting positive energy means that positive energy will return to you.  I dunno.

Wasalaam.
timbuktu
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« Reply #6 on: Mar 31, 2008 08:02 AM »

peace be upon you

Here is the dua in the attached jpg file, clipped from:

http://www.geocities.com/mutmainaa2/dua/death.html

I hope mutmainaa2 does not mind this clipping.

You can view the dua just by clicking on the small image here.
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