just to even it out:
7 Mistakes Men Make in Relationships With Women
by Karin Lehmann
When I ask men what mistakes they make in their relationships with women, they either tell me that they don't make any, or, that their weakness is to always do the right thing.
Hm … Let's find out what women think. Below I am listing 7 common mistakes men make, from a woman's perspective.
#1 Men Have No Weaknesses: When you ask a man whether he is scared, nervous, tired or angry, the answer is most likely a resounding 'NO'. Men apparently don't experience those type of emotions. To women this is confusing if not slightly unsettling. How can a man have no weaknesses? It seems that they are not telling us what's really going on and this creates unease and suspicion. Often, this leads women to persist in asking more questions until men feel interrogated and pull away.
I know it's hard for men to talk about weaknesses, but if every once in a while you admit that you are tired, fed up or want to be left alone, it will help women to build trust with you.
#2 Being Too Nice: When it comes to their relationship some men have a hard time saying no, eagerly trying to please their woman and not standing up to her. This is a double edged sword. If a man loves a woman, he more than anything wants to please her. Yet, if he turns into a push-over, it's the beginning of the end. Will women test a man's determination and will power? You bet! The paradox is, we want you to stand your ground and put some force into the relationship, however, we will challenge you all the way there. If you can't show your strength, we will lose respect for you.
The best cure for the 'nice game' is to have something to do that is so engaging and exciting that you simply don't have the time to always be around to be pushed around.
#3 Intimidation: Finding the balance in a relationship can be hard. While some men try do please their woman to a fault, others like to show who's in charge by physical and emotional intimidation. If this is something you learned in a family where bullying women was modeled and accepted, you will have to dig deep and really look at your understanding of the other sex. By learning to appreciate women and by accepting their power, you can create an intimacy beyond anything you ever experienced.
On another level, men will sometimes use a bully or cocky attitude when they feel insecure and can't read a specific situation. If as a man you use intimidation to cover up for your insecurity, you may want to realize that your little game is actually doing the trick and that in many cases you are turning off the woman you are trying to impress.
#4 Not Telling a Woman How Much You Appreciate Her: It's hard for men to talk about feelings (yes, we know) and a lot of times they show their affection through action. But maybe you can remember this every once in a while: We love to hear how much you appreciate us. You probably did so when we first met. Keep it up, it does NOT get old! Here are a few good phrases you can use:
Darling, you are looking great!
Thank you so much for making dinner (breakfast, lunch, etc.) for me.
I am so happy to be with you.
You look beautiful in that new dress.
I love it when you smile like that.
#5 Not Recognizing a Woman's Need for Balance and Harmony: Men are masters of pain (just watch an action movie!), women are masters of pleasure.
Women like to have fun. We laugh, talk, cheer and giggle. We also love beauty & harmony. It's our nature and it helps us to recharge our batteries. Men often shrug their shoulders when we insist on having the best room in a hotel, take our time with picking the perfect seat in a restaurant, and expect the best service. Little do they know that it's our livelihood: It makes us feel good and helps us to relax. Being too serious and thinking about problems is not our idea of having a good time. Not so for men. They love problems, the bigger, the better. A smart man let's his woman have her way in choosing the right ambiance. He knows that when she is happy, he will be happy, too.
#6 Avoiding Conflict: Have you ever had a conflict with a man and instead of dealing with it he withdrew? When confronted with a personal disagreement, men often disappear into their 'cave' and wait for the storm to pass. For women this can be frustrating. We solve problems by talking about them. It makes us feel better and calms us down. Men on the other hand often don't know how to respond to a personal conflict and for fear of saying something wrong (or the risk of making a fool out of themselves) they stop communicating all together. A woman may interpret this as sign of rejection or disapproval.
If as a man you can stick with a conflict and simply listen to your partner, much will be accomplished. You don't have to argue, defend yourself or try to solve the problem. Just listen and let us do the talking. Most likely, all we are trying to do is get the balance back that is so vital for our well-being. Now, if saying I am sorry seems appropriate, go for it!
#7 Ignoring Women's Wisdom: While men are masters at planning, solving problems, creating innovative systems, and developing strategies, women are wise in a whole different way: We have the ability to 'read' our environment and easily pick up on people's thoughts and their intentions.
If a woman is skilled at this, she can translate her perceptions into valuable insights. In a relationship or business, if a man is attentive to this ability, he can pick up on important information that he may overlook otherwise. Powerful men know how to listen to women and ask them for their insights: We can be the radar that will help you navigate in an effective way.