// Crush on girl in class
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« on: Apr 30, 2012 06:27 AM »

Aslam alaykum,

Not quite sure how to start this. I'm currently studying at the university, and there is a girl. I am ashamed to say that I developed feelings for her, foolish enough allowed this to happen. I really do not understand where they came from, and perhaps it is because she looks at me and I catch it in the corner of my eye. I have restricted myself to look at her less, even now with the fear of causing a greater sense of it, but it is really hard. God knows, she is a very sweet girl, and I know I should not even, but just talking to her, regardless of the fact that it is at least one of my classes every day. I made a promise to myself not to act on these feelings, and ask God for help, but nothing seems to be working. It was a few months, and I'm kind of at losses. How to stop these feelings? I was in a relationship before and do not intend to go down this road as well!

I hope that everything is fine. Jazakallah Khair

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« Reply #1 on: May 03, 2012 06:57 AM »

You are not the only one in this situation. This happens to just everyone. At least your Imaan is strong enough that you realize its wrong and you don't want to get into it Mashallah. My two bit advice for you is to observe "fast". Fasting will keep stray feelings at bay Inshallah.

This reminder may also affect your mind:

Allah says: "Nor come nigh to adultery". In this verse, Allah does not say "Do not commit adultery" but tells us not even to come close to it. This means that everything that may seduce a person to fall into adultery is unlawful.

Moreover, Allah says: "Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them." and says: "And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty." [S�rah al-N�r: 30-31]

Inshallah that will help you.
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« Reply #2 on: May 07, 2012 08:34 AM »

Walaikum salam,

Yes I think it's quite normal to have a crush on someone. But be careful about imagining that she returns your feelings or that you have some kind of relationship with her! A crush is powerful because it's your idea of how you see someone, which may or may not be reality. In any case, you may wish to pursue this through Halal means ie hooking up for marriage. If this is not possible, do your best to stay away from her and Haram things, focus on what you should be doing now and work towards your goals which I'm sure include marriage to someone good inshaAllah.

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