// Feeling wrong
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« on: Aug 04, 2012 05:09 PM »

God knows I feel bad about having to admit this.

I'm an everyday Muslim. Wear hijab, from a religious family, etc etc. I'm fairly informed about my religion. But recently, I feel bad because I don't feel like a Muslim anymore...rather I feel like I'm just keeping up outside rituals, but inside I feel like just any nonMuslim who believes in God but does whatever they want to do. I believe in God-but I just feel like my connection to Islam, to the everyday law, has just faded.

I'm finding this so hard to put into words...can anyone help me?

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um aboodi
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« Reply #1 on: Aug 05, 2012 05:22 AM »


Some of the scholars have said that one type of 'sabr' or patience/endurance/fortitude, is that which enables you to be persistent in performing acts of worship.

i.e. al-sabr 'ala al-ta'aat

الصبر على الطاعات

Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala instructs us to be patient and to be steadfast in our worship:

وَأْمُرْ‌ أَهْلَكَ بِالصَّلَاةِ وَاصْطَبِرْ‌ عَلَيْهَا ۖ لَا نَسْأَلُكَ رِ‌زْقًا ۖ نَّحْنُ نَرْ‌زُقُكَ ۗ وَالْعَاقِبَةُ لِلتَّقْوَىٰ

And enjoin prayer upon your family [and people] and be steadfast therein. We ask you not for provision; We provide for you, and the [best] outcome is for [those of] righteousness. (20:132)


وَاصْبِرْ‌ نَفْسَكَ مَعَ الَّذِينَ يَدْعُونَ رَ‌بَّهُم بِالْغَدَاةِ وَالْعَشِيِّ يُرِ‌يدُونَ وَجْهَهُ ۖ وَلَا تَعْدُ عَيْنَاكَ عَنْهُمْ تُرِ‌يدُ زِينَةَ الْحَيَاةِ الدُّنْيَا ۖ وَلَا تُطِعْ مَنْ أَغْفَلْنَا قَلْبَهُ عَن ذِكْرِ‌نَا وَاتَّبَعَ هَوَاهُ وَكَانَ أَمْرُ‌هُ فُرُ‌طًا

And keep yourself patient [by being] with those who call upon their Lord in the morning and the evening, seeking His countenance. And let not your eyes pass beyond them, desiring adornments of the worldly life, and do not obey one whose heart We have made heedless of Our remembrance and who follows his desire and whose affair is ever [in] neglect. (18:28)[/b]

From this, you realize that worshiping Allah swt is an energy demanding process that requires active and constant input and a lot of discipline.  You can't just stop when you reach a certain level of Eman and expect that you stay at that level. No, you will actually decline if you do that.  You constantly have to challenge yourself, and fight with yourself to worship Allah.  You have to battle your inner self into submission constantly to stay the course.

Alhamdulellah that you wear hijab, pray, fast, from a religious family and are fairly informed about your religion.  

You need to do more Smiley  You (and I and everyone else btw) need to step up and not stay where you are.  

Look, in martial arts or any kind of competitive sports, the coach is always tough and always wants you to do more. You can't stop even after reaching the black belt!! You gotta keep going.  You need patience, discipline and fortitude to keep going through what seems to be hard and torturous training practice.  

As for practical advice on what to do to overcome this "phase", I would start by tackling surroundings.  We are influenced more by our surroundings than we actually realize.  Try to reduce/control  time spent on things that detach you from practicing, e.g. TV, fashion, shopping, FB.  Be more involved in your Muslim community.  Look for study circles (halaqa) and attend regularly.  Take some stuff online for ex. al-maghrib courses.  Learn tajweed.  Start memorising Qu'an.  Teach kids at you local Sunday school.  If there are muslim summer camps in your area, see what you can do to help them.  Attend Islamic conferences.  

As well, increase your acts of worship and try to concentrate more and have more presence while performing salah for example.  Also, take care of yourself.  Be physically active and eat a healthy diet.  And DO NOT drink  bebzi, it is bad for you  Wink  

Insha'ALlah, you can also make lots of sincere dua that your heart is steadfast on Islam/Eman .  It is narrated that the prophet salla Allah 'alayhi wa sallam used to make the following duas seeking Allah's help to make his heart steadfast on Islam.

يا مقلب القلوب ثبت قلبي على دينك
Ya muqalleba al-quloob thabbit qalbi 'ala deenik.

Translation: O Allah you turn and change hearts, make my heart firm on your religion. (narrated in Timidhi)

اللهم مصرف القلوب صرِّف قلوبنا على طاعتك
Allahumma musarrefa al-quloob sarref quloobuna 'ala ta'atek

Translation: O Allah you engage the hearts [to different vocations] , engage my heart with obeying you.  (narrated in Sahih Muslim)

From personal experience, we all go through low periods where we are just struggling to perform the bare minimum. With very few exceptions maybe, our journey of Eman  is never a straight upward trend.  In reality, it more looks like those stock charts, where there are always local low points, local high points alternating on the way to the top insha;Allah.   You need to spend energy and dedicate efforts to escape the lows and progress through the highs.

May Allah strengthen your and our Eman,  protect us from the whisper of shaytan and give us help to worship Him in a way that pleases him and elevates our status, ameen.    

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« Reply #2 on: Aug 05, 2012 08:55 AM »

Sharia answers WHAT and Tasawwuf explains WHY of Islam


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Allahumma musarrif al quloobi sarrif quloobana ala

« Reply #3 on: Aug 05, 2012 03:47 PM »

 salam sis
I guess most people feel the way you do attimes.the reason why the heart is called qalb is because it flunctuates.sins also weaken one's willpower,they make you lazy.when your imaan gets low,you just don't let it be.strive to increase your good deeds and InshaAllah everything will be allright.

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« Reply #4 on: Aug 05, 2012 04:15 PM »

perhaps also try and join the company of people who are stronger in faith, perhaps the company will be of benefit to you inshallah?

And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
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« Reply #5 on: Aug 06, 2012 05:32 AM »

My suggestion: Insha Allah take a little time out everyday and sincerely ask Allah to guide you and cure your heart so that you can worship Him in loving submission. Keep doing it, and Allah will help you.
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