// Answer to Some Questions on Divorce
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Abdurahman
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Oh Allah, Guide us to the Straight Path.


« on: Apr 19, 2008 11:27 PM »


Asalamualaikum wrt,


"Could you enlighten me what you mean by that I am not entitled to 50% of my husband's property? Firstly it's not his property but is jointly owned.  "



All praise be to Allah. 


Islam enjoins that we deal with justice in all of our affairs.  For example, if one's husband hits her without right, she is entitled to Qisaas, that is retaliation for what he did, or financial compensation if the wife accepts that.  It is stated in Saheeh Bukhari that some of the Sahabah judged for Qisaas even in cases of scratching.

You should keep documentation of any harm that you incurred, and present that to the qualified Imam, and ask that you be compensated for it.  Islam is absolutely just in all affairs.


However, there is no such thing as joint property in Islam.  This is a term used by the West, since men usually gain control over their wives property after marriage, or vice verse.  This is not so in Islam.  The husband's and the wife's property remain independent.  Marriage and divorce have no bearing on property rights, it is simply the beginning or end of the marriage contract.


If you and your husband contributed to a joint account, than you have to determine how much is yours, and how much is your husbands.  In the end, if you pursue this in court, you should be sure not to take more than what is yours.


People will be held accountable for taking others property on the Day of Judgment.  A man who usurped a sheep will be resurrected with a bleating sheep tied around his neck, and he will have to carry it around his neck on the Day of Judgment.  One should fear Allah and not take another's property unjustly, and that is what was meant. 



"My mahr still remains unpaid till this date."


That means you are entitled to it.  Add it to the list of what your husband owes you.


"Maintenance during iddah? What about throughout nikkah? Is it not obligatory upon a husband to provide for his wife and children through this time?"


If he did not provide this, and you had to pay it out of your pocket, then it is considered like a loan that you gave to your husband , according to the scholars.  Make a note of whatever you paid, and add it to the list of what your husband owes you.



"Mut'ah if he can't provide maintenace do you think he would give a gift after divorce to me?"


This is not for you or your husband to decide, it is for a qualified Imam acting as a judge between you.


"At present I am not in my iddah period as he is now refusing to give me an Islamic divorce."


As I mentioned, you are entitled to a divorce by a qualified Imam, called Talaq-lid-daraar (Divorce because of harm), if everything is as you have stated.  You have no need of speaking to your husband about this.  A qualified Imam who is authorized to marry, can also give you something in writing stating that he has divorced you by the Laws of Allah, based on the evidence shown to him, if that is what is right in this case.

Alternatively, if your husband signs the divorce papers, then most of the scholars say it is like a written divorce and the same as saying: "I divorce you." and this will count, Islamically.  Your 'Iddah will begin from the day the Imam or your husband signs the papers.


"You say something along the lines of if someone hurts us we shouldn't hurt them back as that is not what our prophet taught us, Is beating a woman, a wife considered right in Islam then? "


Allah will judge between all on the Day of Judgment.  We should not answer one wrong with another wrong.  There is the hell-fire, for the wrongdoers.  We need to decrease the overall number of wrongs, not perpetuate them.



In the end, make sure you only take what belongs to you, after having it approved by a qualified Islamic scholar or Imam.  Non-Muslim courts do not judge by the Law of Allah, and their rulings are not valid in religious affairs.  A man and a woman may get married in a non-Muslim court, but it would still be considered Zina in the sight of Allah.

And in this way, you will be free of any blame on the Day of Judgment.


And to Allah belongs the heavens and the earth.



And Allah knows best.


Shaykh Abdurahman

Be merciful to those on earth, and the One in the Heavens will be merciful to you.
timbuktu
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« Reply #1 on: Apr 20, 2008 07:37 AM »

peace be upon you

I would say this is a fair statement of how we should go about our married lives. However, just a couple of comments:

Quote
Quote
"Maintenance during iddah? What about throughout nikkah? Is it not obligatory upon a husband to provide for his wife and children through this time?"

If he did not provide this, and you had to pay it out of your pocket, then it is considered like a loan that you gave to your husband , according to the scholars.  Make a note of whatever you paid, and add it to the list of what your husband owes you.

I would like to add that the husband's providing depends upon his circumstances. If he doesn't have much, he cannot be expected to rovide lavishly, and if his wife adds from her income for a better living, perhaps this should not be considered a loan.

Quote
there is no such thing as joint property in Islam.

I wonder. The application of that would have caused a lot of problems in our living. This may be useful in case of separation.
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« Reply #2 on: Apr 24, 2008 09:09 PM »


Asslamo Alaykum

Firstly Jazakallah Bro Abdurahman for answering my queries, it helps a lot.

Secondly I do not work any more and have not worked since I had my children, I was working prior to having them and my husband was happy with me working throughout my pregnancy.  I was planning on going back into work after having my children and my husband had wanted me to at first but then changed his mind and said I should stay at home with the children which I did.

I never made demands on him to get me this and that just asked for the basic things, which sometimes I got and most times I didn't, as he was busy supporting his family back home who are living a good life as his father and brothers all work but as soon as one of his brothers phoned and saidsend me some money I want to go to a different city for a holiday with my friends or I want to buy a computer he would send that money straight away but if I had asked the previous day for money I was told he didn't have it!

Was this treatment from him right in Islam?


Walaikum Salaam
Faizah
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« Reply #3 on: Apr 26, 2008 12:19 AM »


Asslamo Alaykum

Firstly Jazakallah Bro Abdurahman for answering my queries, it helps a lot.

Secondly I do not work any more and have not worked since I had my children, I was working prior to having them and my husband was happy with me working throughout my pregnancy.  I was planning on going back into work after having my children and my husband had wanted me to at first but then changed his mind and said I should stay at home with the children which I did.

I never made demands on him to get me this and that just asked for the basic things, which sometimes I got and most times I didn't, as he was busy supporting his family back home who are living a good life as his father and brothers all work but as soon as one of his brothers phoned and saidsend me some money I want to go to a different city for a holiday with my friends or I want to buy a computer he would send that money straight away but if I had asked the previous day for money I was told he didn't have it!

Was this treatment from him right in Islam?


Walaikum Salaam

I'm going to go at this from a "right/wrong" perspective since I'm far from qualified to take a go from the deeper Islamic scholarly perspective.

Your husband not hesitating to send money to his extended family while denying it to his nuclear family is not only wrong it is considered abuse.  We are permitted to take from our husbands what is needed in the instances where he fails to do so as is his obligation.  While the husband nor the wife is to sever the ties of family (parents and siblings) once a man starts a family of his own, the first obligation is to that unit and not the branch he came from.

A wife is not supposed to have to assist in the maintenance of the family and to do so and consider it a loan won't work because the loan is never repaid.  I tried that once while pregnant with my youngest daughter.  At the time I was employed full-time and enrolled in college part-time.  I decided that during my maternity leave i would take a course since I could do the work from home and what else would I be doing other than caring for an infant that spends most of the time sleeping.  I budgetted my money knowing I would have none while home and saved to purchase the books I would need for the course.  Well naturally Mr. man asked if he could borrow the money but would give it back to me in enough time to order the books for delivery at the beginning of the course.  Well I never got the money back and in fact he "convinced" me that I shouldn't take on the task of caring for an infant, a 9 year old and and college course.  That setback caused a delay in the attainment of my degree; in fact I didn't complete the degree until after we parted ways and then I wa raising two children alone and working full-time.  So with that, lesson learned - do not loan a man money unless you won't miss it because you most likely won't get it back, don't listen to the opinion of a man in matters of importance to oneself because he will rarely if ever see the importance it holds and never ever let a man manipulate your mind even once because he will continue to do it.

I don't beat myself up over what was in the past but rather use it to strengthen my character even further and stand firmly on my own two feet.

Fa'izah
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