// What are the Husband's and Wife's Rights in Islam?
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« on: Apr 19, 2008 11:34 PM »


Question:
what are a wife's rights on her husband according the Quran and Sunnah? or what are a husbands duties to his wife and viceversa?

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.   

Islam has enjoined upon the husband duties towards his wife, and vice versa, and among these duties are some which are shared by both husband and wife.

 We will mention – by the help of Allaah – some of the texts of the Qur’aan and Sunnah which have to do with the duties of the spouses towards one another, quoting also from the commentaries and views of the scholars.

 Firstly:

 The rights of the wife which are hers alone:

 The wife has financial rights over her husband, which are the mahr (dowry), spending and accommodation.

 And she has non-financial rights, such as fair division between co-wives, being treated in a decent and reasonable manner, and not being treated in a harmful way by her husband.

 1.     Financial rights

 (a)   The mahr (dowry). This is the money to which the wife is entitled from her husband when the marriage contract is completed or when the marriage is consummated. It is a right which the man is obliged to pay to the woman. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart” [al-Nisaa’ 4:4]

The prescription of the mahr demonstrates the seriousness and importance of the marriage-contract, and is a token of respect and honour to the woman.

The mahr is not a condition or essential part of the marriage-contract, according to the majority of fuqahaa’; rather it is one of the consequences of the contract. If the marriage-contract is done without any mention of the mahr, it is still valid, according to the consensus of the majority, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“There is no sin on you, if you divorce women while yet you have not touched (had sexual relation with) them, nor appointed unto them their Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage)” [al-Baqarah 2:236]

The fact that divorce is permitted before consummation of the marriage or before stipulating the mahr indicates that it is permissible not to stipulate the mahr in the marriage-contract.

If the mahr is stipulated, it becomes obligatory upon the husband; if it is not stipulated, then he must give the mahr that is given to women of similar status to his wife. 

(b) Spending. The scholars of Islam are agreed that it is obligatory for husbands to spend on their wives, on the condition that the wife make herself available to her husband. If she refuses him or rebels, then she is not entitled to that spending.

The reason why it is obligatory to spend on her is that the woman is available only to her husband, because of the marriage contract, and she is not allowed to leave the marital home except with his permission. So he has to spend on her and provide for her, and this is in return for her making herself available to him for his pleasure.

What is meant by spending is providing what the wife needs of food and accommodation. She has the right to these things even if she is rich, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“but the father of the child shall bear the cost of the mother’s food and clothing on a reasonable basis” [al-Baqarah 2:233]

“Let the rich man spend according to his means; and the man whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what Allaah has given him” [al-Talaaq 65:7]

 From the Sunnah:

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to Hind bint ‘Utbah – the wife of Abu Sufyaan – who had complained that he did not spend on her: “Take what is sufficient for you and your children, on a reasonable basis.” 

It was narrated that ‘Aa’ishah said: “Hind bint ‘Utbah, the wife of Abu Sufyaan, entered upon the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, Abu Sufyaan is a stingy man who does not spend enough on me and my children, except for what I take from his wealth without his knowledge. Is there any sin on me for doing that?’ The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, ‘Take from his wealth on a reasonable basis, only what is sufficient for you and your children.’” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5049; Muslim, 1714)

 It was narrated from Jaabir that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said in his Farewell Sermon:

“Fear Allah concerning women! Verily you have taken them on the security of Allah, and intercourse with them has been made lawful unto you by words of Allah. You too have rights over them, and that they should not allow anyone to sit on your bed [i.e., not let them into the house] whom you do not like. But if they do that, you can chastise them but not severely. Their rights upon you are that you should provide them with food and clothing in a fitting manner” (Narrated by Muslim, 1218)

 (c)  Accommodation. This is also one of the wife’s rights, which means that her husband should prepare for her accommodation according to his means and ability. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Lodge them (the divorced women) where you dwell, according to your means” [al-Talaaq 65:6]

 2.     Non-financial rights

 (i)                Fair treatment of co-wives. One of the rights that a wife has over her husband is that she and her co-wives should be treated equally, if the husband has other wives, with regard to nights spent with them, spending and clothing.

(ii)              Kind treatment. The husband must have a good attitude towards his wife and be kind to her, and offer her everything that may soften her heart towards him, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“and live with them honourably” [al-Nisaa’ 4:19]

“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable” [al-Baqarah 2:228]

 From the Sunnah:

 It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘Be kind to women.’”(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3153; Muslim, 1468).

 There follow examples of the kind treatment of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) towards his wives – for he is the best example:

 1. It was narrated from Zaynab bint Abi Salamah that Umm Salamah said: “I got my menses when I was lying with the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) under a single woollen sheet. I slipped away and put on the clothes I usually wore for menstruation. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)  said to me, ‘Have you got your menses?’ I said, ‘Yes.’ Then he called me and made me lie with him under the same sheet.”

She said: And she told me that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to kiss her when he was fasting, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and I used to do ghusl to cleanse ourselves from janaabah from one vessel.(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 316; Muslim, 296)

 2.  It was narrated that ‘Urwah ibn al-Zubayr said: “ ‘Aa’ishah said: ‘By Allaah, I saw the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) standing at the door of my apartment when the Abyssinians were playing with their spears in the Mosque of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). He covered me with his cloak so that I could watch their games, then he stood there for my sake until I was the one who had had enough. So you should appreciate the fact that young girls like to have fun.’” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 443; Muslim, 892)

 3.  It was narrated from ‘Aa’ishah the Mother of the Believers (may Allaah be pleased with her) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to pray sitting down; he would recite Qur’aan when he was sitting down, then when there were thirty or forty aayahs left, he would stand up and recite them standing up. Then he did rukoo’, then sujood; then he would do likewise in the second rak’ah. When he had finished his prayer, he would look, and if I was awake he would talk with me, and if I was asleep he would lie down.

(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1068)   

(c)  Not harming one’s wife. 

This is one of the basic principles of Islam. Because harming others is haraam in the case of strangers, it is even more so in the case of harming one’s wife.

 It was narrated from ‘Ubaadah ibn al-Saamit that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) ruled, “There should be no harming nor reciprocating harm.” (Narrated by Ibn Maajah,, 2340)

This hadeeth was classed as saheeh by Imaam Ahmad, al-Haakim, Ibn al-Salaah and others. See Khalaasat al-Badr al-Muneer, 2/438.

 Among the things to which the Lawgiver drew attention in this matter is the prohibition of hitting or beating in a severe manner.

 It was narrated from Jaabir that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said in his Farewell Sermon:

“Fear Allah concerning women! Verily you have taken them on the security of Allah, and intercourse with them has been made lawful unto you by words of Allah. You too have rights over them, and that they should not allow anyone to sit on your bed [i.e., not let them into the house] whom you do not like. But if they do that, you can chastise them but not severely. Their rights upon you are that you should provide them with food and clothing in a fitting manner” (Narrated by Muslim, 1218)

 Secondly:

 The husband’s rights over his wife.

 The rights of the husband over his wife are among the greatest rights; indeed his rights over her are greater than her rights over him, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them [al-Baqarah 2:228]

 al-Jassaas said: Allaah tells us in this aayah that each of the spouses has rights over the other, and that the husband has one particular right over his wife which she does not have over him.

 Ibn al-‘Arabi said: this text states that he has some preference over her with regard to rights and duties of marriage.

 These rights include:

 (a)     The obligation of obedience. Allaah has made the man a qawwaam (protector and maintainer) of the woman by commanding, directing and taking care of her, just as guardians take care of their charges, by virtue of the physical and mental faculties that Allaah has given only to men and the financial obligations that He has enjoined upon them. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means” [al-Nisaa’ 4:34]

 ‘Ali ibn Abi Talhah said, narrating from Ibn ‘Abbaas: “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women” means, they are in charge of them, i.e., she should obey him in matters of obedience that Allaah has enjoined upon her, and obey him by treating his family well and taking care of his wealth. This was the view of Muqaatil, al-Saddi and al-Dahhaak.(Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 1/492)

 (b)    Making herself available to her husband. One of the rights that the husband has over his wife is that he should be able to enjoy her (physically). If he marries a woman and she is able to have intercourse, she is obliged to submit herself to him according to the contract, if he asks her. That is after he gives her the immediate mahr, and gives her some time – two or three days, if she asks for that – to sort herself out, because that is something that she needs, and because that is not too long and is customary. 

If a wife refuses to respond to her husband’s request for intercourse, she has done something haraam and has committed a major sin, unless she has a valid shar’i excuse such as menses, obligatory fasting, sickness, etc.

 It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘When a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses, and he went to sleep angry with her, the angels will curse her until morning.’” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3065; Muslim, 1436)

 (c)     Not admitting anyone whom the husband dislikes. One of the rights that the husband has over his wife is that she should not permit anyone whom he dislikes to enter his house.

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “It is not permitted for a woman to fast when her husband is present without his permission, or to admit anyone into his house without his permission. And whatever she spends (in charity) of his wealth without his consent, ….” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4899; Muslim, 1026)

It was narrated from Sulaymaan ibn ‘Amr ibn al-Ahwas: my father told me that he was present at the Farewell Pilgrimage (Hujjat al-Wadaa’) with the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). He [the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)] praised and glorified Allaah, then he preached a sermon and said: “Treat women kindly, for they are prisoners and you have no other power over them than that, if they are guilty of open lewdness, then refuse to share their beds, and hit them, but not severely. But if they return to obedience, (then) do not seek means (of annoyance) against them. You have rights over your women and your women have rights over you. Your rights over your women are that they should not let anyone whom you dislike sit on your bed and they should not let anyone whom you dislike enter your house. Their rights over you are that you should feed and clothe them well.”

(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1163 – he said this is a saheeh hasan hadeeth. Also narrated by Ibn Maajah, 1851) 

It was narrated that Jaabir said: [the Prophet] (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“Fear Allah concerning women! Verily you have taken them on the security of Allah, and intercourse with them has been made lawful unto you by words of Allah. You too have rights over them, and that they should not allow anyone to sit on your bed [i.e., not let them into the house] whom you do not like. But if they do that, you can chastise them but not severely. Their rights upon you are that you should provide them with food and clothing in a fitting manner” (Narrated by Muslim, 1218)

 (d)    Not going out of the house except with the husband’s permission. One of the rights of the husband over his wife is that she should not go out of the house except with his permission. 

The Shaafa’is and Hanbalis said: she does not have the right to visit (even) her sick father except with the permission of her husband, and he has the right to prevent her from doing that… because obedience to the husband is obligatory, and it is not permitted to neglect an obligatory action for something that is not obligatory. 

(e)     Discipline. The husband has the right to discipline his wife if she disobeys him in something good, not if she disobeys him in something sinful, because Allaah has enjoined disciplining women by forsaking them in bed and by hitting them, when they do not obey. 

The Hanafis mentioned four situations in which a husband is permitted to discipline his wife by hitting her. These are: not adorning herself when he wants her to; not responding when he calls her to bed and she is taahirah (pure, i.e., not menstruating); not praying; and going out of the house without his permission. 

The evidence that it is permissible to discipline one's wife includes the aayahs (interpretation of the meaning):

“As to those women on whose part you see ill?conduct, admonish them (first), (next) refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful)” [al-Nisaa’ 4:34]

“O you who believe! Ward off yourselves and your families against a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones” [al-Tahreem 66:6]

 Ibn Katheer said:

Qutaadah said: you should command them to obey Allaah, and forbid them to disobey Allaah; you should be in charge of them in accordance with the command of Allaah, and instruct them to follow the commands of Allaah, and help them to do so. If you see any act of disobedience towards Allaah, then stop them from doing it and rebuke them for that. 

This was also the view of al-Dahhaak and Muqaatil: that the duty of the Muslim is to teach his family, including his relatives and his slaves, that which Allaah has enjoined upon them and that which He has forbidden them. (Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 4/392) 

(f)      The wife serving her husband. There is a great deal of evidence (daleel) for this, some of which has been mentioned above.

 Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said:

 She is obliged to serve her husband according to what is reasonable among people of similar standing. That varies according to circumstances: the way in which a Bedouin woman serves (her husband) will not be like the way of a town-dweller, and the way of a strong woman will not be like the way of a weak woman. (al-Fataawa al-Kubraa, 4/561) 

(g)     Submitting herself to him. Once the conditions of the marriage-contract have been fulfilled and it is valid, then the woman is obliged to submit herself to her husband and allow him to enjoy her (physically), because once the contract is completed, he is allowed in return to enjoy her, and the wife is entitled to the compensation which is the mahr. 

(h)     The wife should treat her husband in a good manner, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable” [al-Baqarah 2:228]

 Al-Qurtubi said:

It was also narrated from him – i.e., Ibn ‘Abbaas – that this means: they have the right to good companionship and kind and reasonable treatment from their husbands just as they are obliged to obey the commands of their husbands.

 And it was said that they have the right that their husbands should not harm them, and their husbands have a similar right over them. This was the view of al-Tabari. 

Ibn Zayd said: You should fear Allaah concerning them just as they should fear Allaah concerning you. 

The meanings are similar, and the aayah includes all of that in the rights and duties of marriage.(Tafseer al-Qurtubi, 3/123-124) 

And Allaah knows best.

Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid


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« Reply #1 on: Apr 20, 2008 01:50 AM »

Correction bro peaceman, oops I mean abdurahman:

What is the meaning of qawwamuna as used in Surat al-Nisa', verse 34?
©Nuh Ha Mim Keller 1995

Allah says in it,

Men are caretakers (qawwamuna) of women, because of that through which Allah has favored one over another, and because of what they spend of their property (Qur'an 4:34).

Before trying to understand this in a knowledge-based way, it is worth remembering that the Qur'an severely blames whoever would speak on religious matters without knowledge, as Allah says in surat al-Najm,

They have no knowledge of it whatsoever: they but follow opinion, and opinion avails nothing in place of the Truth (Qur'an 53:28).

Although originally revealed about unbelievers who gave the angels names, this verses concluding note is a cogent reminder until the end of time that we must make sure of what we say about religion. For this reason, my advice, to myself and to every Muslim, is that when seeking knowledge on any question in Islam, one should rely on the top scholars in the field that deals with the question; in this case, the Imams of tafsir or Qur'anic exegesis.

This is more necessary today than ever, when so much Islamic thought abounds and so little of what in previous centuries of Islamic learning was called ilm or "knowledge". The good news reaches us that some academic celebrity or other has become a Muslim, only to be followed a few months later by the bad news: that he has written a new book about Islam. The knowledge of Islam, encompassing the entire ethical range of human experience, this world and the next, has never been considered attainable without learning it from those who have a working familiarity with it, the traditional ulama. It was once said to Imam Abu Hanifa, "In such and such a mosque there is a circle that discusses fiqh (lit. the "understanding of fine points of the religion")". He asked, "Do they have a master over them?" and they said no. He said, "They will never understand" (Ibn Muflih, al-Adab al-shariyya wa al-minah al-mariyya. 3 vols. Cairo n.d. Reprint. Cairo: Maktaba Ibn Taymiya, 1398/1978, 3.374).

It is true that if such a celebrity confines himself to description of some particular Islamic phenomenon in ways he has been previously trained to, there is perhaps no harm in it. But when he tries an ethical analysis of what the Qur'an (or hadith) tells Muslims to do, he has passed into explaining the command of Allah, and in such a case, if he does not know the interpretive dimensions of that command--the aspects of Arabic, the figurative, the literal, the types of metaphor, the context in which various verses were revealed, which verses supersede others and which are superseded, the points on which there is scholarly consensus (ijma) and the points on which there is not, the tenets of faith of Ahl al-Sunna, and a great deal more--he will fail.

Interpreting the word qawwamuna in the above verse is just such an ethical analysis, with human implications too tremendous to be left to amateurs. We will therefore turn to what some of the principle Imams of tafsir or Qur'anic exegesis have said about it. One of the earliest tafsirs in print is by Imam Ibn Jarir al-Tabari (d. 310/923), who says:

Allah, majestic be His praise, means by Men are caretakers of women that they are in charge of their womenfolk, in disciplining and guidance, respecting the rights that they [women] owe to Allah and to them. Because of that by which Allah has favored one over another means because of that through which Allah has favored men over their wives, since men must give them their marriage payment (mahr) and spend of their wealth to support them, and save them their pains and effort: that is the favoring of Allah Most Blessed and Exalted of men over women, and is why they have become caretakers of them who have authority over them regarding those of their affairs that Allah has given them charge of ... (Jami al-bayan an tawil ay al-Qur'an. 30 vols. Cairo n.d. Reprint (30 vols. in 15). Beirut: Dar al-Fikr, 1405/1984, 5.57).

Al-Tabari then mentions the chains of narrators that transmit the above exegesis from some of the earliest scholars, such as Ibn Abbas (d. 68/ 687), al-Dahhak (d. A.H. 102), al-Suddi (d. A.H. 127), and Sufyan al-Thawri (d. 161/778). Then he mentions, with a chain of transmission that ends with Hasan al-Basri (d. 110/728) that a man slapped his wife, and she went to the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), who wanted to let her take retaliation (qisas) against her husband [by striking him back in reprisal], but Allah revealed Men are caretakers qawwamuna) of women, because of that through which Allah has favored one over another, and because of what they spend of their property, so the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) summoned the man, recited the verse to him and said, "I wanted one thing, but Allah wanted another" (ibid., 58).

In fact, although the hadith scholar Imam al-Baghawi (d. 510/1117) also mentions this event in his Maalim al-Tanzil, neither he nor al-Tabari can produce an acceptable chain of transmission of it back to the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), so for religious purposes, it is not well-documented enough to rely on for the verses interpretation, and al-Tabari's first interpretation is sounder.

But whatever the sabab al-nuzul or "original occasion of revelation" of the verse, the intended meaning is not confined to that alone. As the Yemeni shari'a scholar and judge Abdullah Mahfuz Baalawi says, "The interpretive principle established by the scholarly consensus (ijma) of specialists in methodological bases (usul) of Sacred Law is that the point of primary texts [of the Qur'an and sunna] lies in the generality of their lexical significance, not the specificity pf their historical context [emphasis mine] (al-Sunna wa al-bid'a. Kuwait: Matabi al-Wazzan, 1404/1984, 33).
In light of this important principle, the exegetes we will now examine adduce the significance of this verses placement in the Qur'an (for the order is also divinely revealed), coming as it does after the provisions for Islamic estate division (irth) in surat al-Nisa. The Arabic grammarian and exegete Abu Hayyan al-Nahwi (d. 754/1353) says of the verse "Men are caretakers of women":

Because Allah Most High has mentioned [in preceding verses] the matter of men and women acquiring their appointed share and their estate-division inheritance, He [here] apprises them that men are in charge of the interests of women. Caretakers (qawwamuna) is an intensive form [indicating something done much]. Because Allah has favored one over another means "because of Allah's favoring some men over others, this man having been given more sustenance (rizq) than that man, this man being better off than that one". And because they spend of their property means "upon women". The word ma [lit. what, translated above in the citation of al-Tabari as "because of that through which Allah has favored," and secondly, "because of what they spend"] is [rather] ma masdariyya or "the indefinite pronoun signifying a verbal noun" in both instances. [Thus meaning "because of Allah's favoring the one," and "because of their spending of their property,"] (Tafsir al-nahr al-madd min al-Bahr al-muhit. 2 vols. in 3. Beirut: Dar al-Janan and Mu'assasa al-Kutub al-Thaqafiyya, 1407/1987, 1.45758).

Imam Fakhr al-Din al-Razi is another exegete who considers the relation of the verse "Men are caretakers of women" to other verses: Know that Allah Most High has said [two verses previously], ". . . and not to long for that with which Allah has preferred some of you above others" (Qur'an 4:32), a verse that we said was revealed because some women made remarks about Allah's favoring men over them in estate division inheritance [by certain male heirs receiving twice the share of their female counterparts]. So Allah mentions in this verse that He only favored men over women in estate division because men are the caretakers of women. For although both spouses enjoy the usufruct of each others person, Allah has ordered men to pay women their marriage portion, and to daily provide them with their support, so that the increase on one side is met with an increase on the other--and so it is as though there is no favoring at all. This clarifies the verses arrangement and order (Tafsir al-Fakhr al-Razi. 32 vols. Beirut 1401/1981. Reprint (32 vols. in 16). Beirut: Dar al-Fikr, 1405/1985, 10.90).

Finally, the more fiqh-oriented exegesis of al-Kaya al-Harrasi notes that while Allah has mentioned men's support of women in verses such as the one in surat al-Tahrim "Let him who possesses plenty spend of his plenty; and let him whose provision is straitened spend of what Allah has given him" (Qur'an 65:7), in this verse [Men are caretakers (qawwamuna) of women], He mentions the necessary cause (`illa) for this support, so scholars have naturally inferred from the two verses taken together that whenever a husband is unable to support his wife, he is no longer her caretaker: she is not obliged to remain at home [should he request it] in any school of jurisprudence, and according to the school of al-Shafi'i (Allah be well pleased with him), she is entitled to have the marriage annulled. He is no longer a caretaker or entitled to oblige her to remain at home because he has vitiated the objective of protecting her by marriage, for the aim of marriage is her security (Ahkam al-Qur'an. 4 vols. Cairo n.d. Reprint (4 vols. in 2). Beirut: Dar al-Kutub al-Ilmiyya, 1405/1985, 2.449).

In answer to your question then, our exegetes clarify how the meaning of qawwamuna or "caretakers" involves legal rights and obligations on the part of both men and women. It entails that women have the right to security, protection, and to be free from the thought of having to support themselves. Even if a woman has millions, she is entitled to be completely supported by her husband and can have her marriage annulled if he is unable to. And it entails that a man has charge of his wife's interests, supervision, and discipline.

And Allah knows best.

"...Surely my prayer and my sacrifice, my life and my death are for Allah, the Lord of the Worlds..." (Qur'an, 6:162)
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« Reply #2 on: Apr 20, 2008 02:16 AM »

salam

With regards the Mahr, we were told by an imam, that it becomes valid once the married couple have been in seclusion together, regardless of whether conjugal relations have taken place or not.
And Allah knows best.

Btw Sr Siham, very beautiful post.


Wassalaam

And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
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« Reply #3 on: Apr 20, 2008 03:00 AM »

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he Shaafa’is and Hanbalis said: she does not have the right to visit (even) her sick father except with the permission of her husband, and he has the right to prevent her from doing that… because obedience to the husband is obligatory, and it is not permitted to neglect an obligatory action for something that is not obligatory. 

wait it isnt obligatory to visit her dad when he is sick?Huh??  I believe in Qur'an it has very clearly said that it is our obligation to take care of our parents when they get older as they took care of us when they were young. So if a husband refused that then it would be going against Allah swt words and then you do not have to obey him.

that is just the main point, another would be that he is giving his wife her right by harming her emotionally and obviously he being unkind and husbands were ordered by the prophet to be kind to their wives and so again I would say he would be disobeying Allah swt and so you do not have to obey him.
And obviously if the father dies while he is sick , and her husband did not allow her to go can their be a happy marriage after that? Do you really think she would be able to give him his rights after that?

sheesh talk about common sense
Asalamualaikum
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« Reply #4 on: Apr 20, 2008 07:24 AM »

peace be upon you

There may be occassions when visiting a sick father may be less important than other matters, and in that case maybe the husband is right in refusing to let her visit. However, to be fair, quite often in the past, this right has been abused by husbands.

& the emotional hurt maybe taken too far at times by the wife.

There is often this classic conflict between head and heart. Unfortunately the world is a ruthless place, matters of which are based more often upon the cold law (and the capriciousness of the society's members) rather than warm emotions. Hence the husband is more equipped to understand and strategise.
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« Reply #5 on: Apr 21, 2008 08:59 PM »

Asalamualaikum wrt,


All praise be to Allah.


"With regards the Mahr, we were told by an imam, that it becomes valid once the married couple have been in seclusion together, regardless of whether conjugal relations have taken place or not.
And Allah knows best."


MashaAllah, you have narrated the Hanafi postion correctly.  If the husband and wife get together in privacy, and there is no physical or religious barrier to consummation (such as menstruation), the full Mahr becomes due, even if consummation does not take place.

However, according to the other 3 schools, Malik, Shafii, and Hanbal, the full Mahr is due only if divorce takes place after consummation (dukhool).  Otherwise, 1/2 the mahr is due.


And Allah knows best.



Be merciful to those on earth, and the One in the Heavens will be merciful to you.
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« Reply #6 on: Jul 01, 2008 06:26 PM »

Salam alaikum. Am sory if this question not passes here or some1 will dont look nice at me coz of my question.
Am interessed is there different about Wife rights in Islam betwen muslim or non muslim wife and what they are?
Salam Alaikum
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« Reply #7 on: Jul 01, 2008 08:05 PM »

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MashaAllah, you have narrated the Hanafi postion correctly.  If the husband and wife get together in privacy, and there is no physical or religious barrier to consummation (such as menstruation), the full Mahr becomes due, even if consummation does not take place.

However, according to the other 3 schools, Malik, Shafii, and Hanbal, the full Mahr is due only if divorce takes place after consummation (dukhool).  Otherwise, 1/2 the mahr is due.


And Allah knows best.

Really,thats interesting, I thought Maher was a gift to the bride from the husband and is suppose to be due the wedding night? Im surprised, I didnt know the three other schools had this view point. Instead of a gift it seems more like a protection from divorce now?
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« Reply #8 on: Jul 01, 2008 09:22 PM »

salam

No its a gift which makes the marriage contract legal.

The mahr is the wifes, and she can return part of it or all of it to get Khul. But other than that it's hers and it becomes her right if she has been in seclusion with her husband.

It makes sense, so women dont marry take the mahr (which could be huge), and leave the marriage for no reason.

The mahr can be given immediately at the point of the marriage contract, or at an alloted time in the future it doesn't have to be on the wedidng night...hey isnt that supposed to be a small gift given by the husband on the wedding night we call it the ''moo dekhay''??

I could be wrong of course I am not an expert.



Wassalaam

And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
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« Reply #9 on: Jul 05, 2008 12:27 AM »

Asalamualaikum wrt wb,


All praise be to Allah.


Mahr is a debt due on the husband towards his wife, in accordance with the marriage contract.  The husband can give it to her on the wedding night, or later in marriage, but if he divorces her, the Mahr must be paid immediately.  In many traditions, the husband pays half the Mahr before the wedding night, and the second half in the event of a divorce.  If the husband dies without having paid his wife her Mahr, it is taken out of his inheritance before the estate is distribution according to the allotted shares in the Quran and Sunnah.

Of course, this is if the wife did not forgive the husband what is owed to her.  However, she should be careful, once she forgives the husband of the Mahr, she cannot take it back.  Once a debt is forgiven, there is no going back on one's word.


And Allah knows best.

Be merciful to those on earth, and the One in the Heavens will be merciful to you.
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« Reply #10 on: Jul 06, 2008 08:36 AM »

As Salam Alaikum..Ok Am here again with next question. My first question wasnt so serious taken...Smiley Special brother Abdurrahman i waited a short answer but its ok..
Do we need give also Mahr, when this women is non muslim at marriagwe time? (thinking about convert) JazzakallahuKahyr for reply also not for reply.. Smiley
As Salamu Alaikum
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« Reply #11 on: Jul 06, 2008 12:39 PM »

salam

Ackhii, Mahr is due in an islamic marriage, you cant have a marriage without a mahr, and if you marry a woman of the people of the book, you treat her as you would a muslim woman.



Wassalaam

And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
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« Reply #12 on: Jul 06, 2008 08:08 PM »

salam

Ackhii, Mahr is due in an islamic marriage, you cant have a marriage without a mahr, and if you marry a woman of the people of the book, you treat her as you would a muslim woman.



Wassalaam
jazzakalllahukhary...thx....Its same with rights of women in islam about non muslimwife?
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« Reply #13 on: Jul 06, 2008 09:19 PM »

salam

Why would the rights of a woman of the people of the book be any different to the rights owed a muslim woman?




Wassalaam

And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
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« Reply #14 on: Jul 08, 2008 04:31 AM »

salam

Why would the rights of a woman of the people of the book be any different to the rights owed a muslim woman?




Wassalaam
Because muslim womens has some islamic duties, for example hijab etc. and her husband has to allow wear.Maybe this is arent good example but i hope u understand me, what i mean..

Assalamu alaikum
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« Reply #15 on: Jul 09, 2008 01:03 AM »

Asalamualaikum wrt,

All praise be to Allah.



Brother Ackhii, how are you?  I am sorry I did not see your question the first time I read this thread Smiley  This is what I have learned from the Ulema regarding marrying a non-Muslim wife:

1.  She should be a chaste woman from the people of the Book (Christian or Jewish), and this means that she believes in God and is not an atheist, and is of good moral character.

2.  Such a marriage is not encouraged, according to many scholars, especially for those living in the West.  However, there may be special cases if there is hope the wife will accept Islam.

3.  The marriage contract should be done according to Islam, with her wali (father, for example) and two witnesses.  It is Sunnah to be done in a masjid, however, it is not permitted to have a ceremony in a church.  She should accept to have the marriage ceremony done according to Islam.

4.  She is entitled to a mahr according to agreement between the husband and the wife.  It does not have to be a large amount, and less has more blessings, according to the scholars.  Any amount is acceptable if she agrees.

5.  She is obligated to raise the children according to Islam and help her husband in this regard.

6.  She forgoes her right to custody of the children in the event of divorce if she remains non-Muslim.

7.  The scholars differed regarding her right to practice her religion.  Many permit it as long as this does not affect the children or the husband.  But one should ask himself, will I be able to raise righteous Muslim children without the help of a righteous Muslim wife?

8.  Like a Muslim wife, and non-Muslim wife has a right to Islamic education by her husband, and he should teach her and call her to the Truth, and educate her, and strive to convince her of the Tawheed (Oneness) of Allah and that Jesus was Allah's messenger and servant.  This should be done in a way that is comfortable and relaxing, so that her heart may be softened to the words of Allah.

9.  Finally, one should think carefully before marrying a woman who is not a Muslim.  There are many Muslim sisters who would make good mothers and raise righteous children, and a Muslim man should consider his options carefully and not rush into a marriage that he will later regret.


And Allah knows best.





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« Reply #16 on: Jul 10, 2008 10:33 PM »

Salam alaikum br. Abdurrahman..Am fine alhamdulillah.
JazzakallahuKhayr for ur nice explain and truthfull...

Only point 9. is not always everywhere so like u write. Specialy in western countrys. She obey me more then my ex-muslimwife, she is more kind and nice to me, care more to me..
I will try to learn her about Islam and If Allah swt wish she will get hiday and will be a muslima inshaallah.. Pray for that, we can be waseela but hidayah is from Allah swt...
Assalamu Alaikum
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« Reply #17 on: Jul 11, 2008 11:40 PM »

Asalamualaikum wrt wb,


All praise be to Allah.


I am very happy that you are willing to teach your future wife about Islam and educate her about the afterlife and the way to success in our eternal lives.  May you be a means of her guidance and being saved from the Fire. 

May Allah guide our non-Muslim colleagues to learn about Islam and follow the guidance revealed to our Prophet Muhammad, may Allah's peace and mercy be upon him,  from the Heavens as a mercy for all of humanity.  Ameen.


And Allah knows best.

Be merciful to those on earth, and the One in the Heavens will be merciful to you.
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« Reply #18 on: Jul 12, 2008 01:36 AM »

Asalamualaikum wrt wb,


All praise be to Allah.


I am very happy that you are willing to teach your future wife about Islam and educate her about the afterlife and the way to success in our eternal lives.  May you be a means of her guidance and being saved from the Fire. 

May Allah guide our non-Muslim colleagues to learn about Islam and follow the guidance revealed to our Prophet Muhammad, may Allah's peace and mercy be upon him,  from the Heavens as a mercy for all of humanity.  Ameen.


And Allah knows best.
Ameeen...
JazzakallahuKhayr brother for nice duas. Yes Allahu Aleem
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