I'd strongly suggest you or anyone who feels guilty about being among non muslims to go through parts of the seerah that deals with this, especially, the part about Abyssinia.
To deal with the guilty feelings, sis, stop taking out time to think about feeling guilty. Occupy your time with productive things. If you think about it too much, you'll feel more and more guilty by the second.
There's a doctor here on the board who said that physical exercise releases endorphins? from the brain and that makes sad people feel better. Try that if you can.
I feel like even though I'm practicing and everything I'm being cut off - not liberal enough for the liberals and not conservative enough for the conservatives.
hmm...isn't that supposed to be a good thing? As far as I know, the middle path is supposed to be the best, right? Correct me if I'm wrong here.