// Tragedy in Connecticut - 20 children, 6 adults killed
    Peace be upon you,
    Welcome to Madinat Al-Muslimeen, the City of the Muslims. Please feel free to visit the different hot spots around the Madina and post any discussion, articles, suggestions, comments, art, poetry, events, recipes, etc etc. Basically anything you would like to share with your sisters and brothers!! Non-muslims are also of course quite welcome to share their comments. If this is your first time here, you need to register with the city council. Once you register you have 15 days to post your mandatory introduction and then you will be upgraded to a Madina Citizen, God Willing. Please note that our city does have regulations which are listed in the city constitution. Read them carefully before moving in. P.S. - You can also post anonymously if you wish. P.S.S. - Also be sure to check out our ARCHIVES from 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006 & 2007. :)

Random Quote: Watermelon it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face. - Enrico Caruso
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Tragedy in Connecticut - 20 children, 6 adults killed  (Read 991 times)
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
WCoastbaba
Bro
Hero Member
*

Reputation Power: 51
WCoastbaba is on the verge of being a madinan :)WCoastbaba is on the verge of being a madinan :)WCoastbaba is on the verge of being a madinan :)WCoastbaba is on the verge of being a madinan :)WCoastbaba is on the verge of being a madinan :)
Gender: Male
Posts: 1291



« on: Dec 14, 2012 10:53 PM »


Almost speechless and deeply saddened - woke up to hearing that there was a shooting - and as it unfolded - just no words.... - BABA

Elementary school massacre: 27 killed, including 20 kids, at Connecticut school


Updated at 5:26 p.m. ET: A teacher's son -- clad in black and carrying two pistols -- rampaged through a Connecticut elementary school Friday, killing 20 small children and six adults, including his mother, in the nation’s second-worst school shooting, law enforcement officials said.

The gunman, identified as Adam Lanza, 20, was also found dead at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, law enforcement officials said. Officials initially told NBC News the gunman was Lanza's brother, Ryan, who is cooperating with investigators and said Adam has a history of mental illness, according to a senior official.
An unidentified woman was also found fatally shot in the face at a home in Newtown after police showed up with there a bomb squad,  officials said.
Advertise | AdChoices

Lanza's mother is a kindergarten teacher at the hilltop school, and most of the dead were found inside her classroom, according to NBCNewYork.com.
Some young survivors -- ages 5 to 10 -- described the terror of the shooting and a massive police response that included SWAT officers going room to room to search for victims as students huddled in classroom corners.
Robert Licata said his 6-year-old son was in class when the gunman burst in and shot the teacher.
"That's when my son grabbed a bunch of his friends and ran out the door," he told the Associated Press. "He was very brave."
One student told NBC Connecticut she was in the gym when she heard “seven loud booms.”
“The gym teachers told us to go in the corner, so we all huddled,” she said. "And I kept hearing these booming noises. And we all … started crying.
"All the gym teachers told us to go into the office where no one could find us," she added. "So then a police officer came in and told us to run outside. So we did and we came in the firehouse.”

The high death toll and the tender age of many victims sent shock waves all the way to the White House, where the flag was lowered to half-staff.
President Obama, his voice cracking at times, said he reacted to the tragedy first as a parent.
“Our hearts are broken today,'' he said. “The majority of those who died today were children. Beautiful little kids between the ages of five and ten years old.”
Authorities in the small bedroom community 60 miles from New York City were alerted to the unfolding carnage by a 911 call around 9:30 a.m., and then reached out to state police and neighboring police departments for help.

Connecticut State Police Lt. Paul Vance said troopers fanned out across the school and searched “every door, every crack, every crevice” of the building.
Most of the bodies were found in two rooms in one section of the 600-student school, which goes up to the fourth grade.
Two children were taken to Danbury Hospital, but they died. A third person was being treated at the hospital, which went into lockdown mode and cleared trauma rooms as doctors waited for an influx of survivors that never came.
After police finished searching the school and determined there was only one gunman, they led the children outside, telling them to close their eyes, apparently to avoid seeing anything gruesome.
At a staging area ringed by police vehicles that raced to the school from across the state, the dazed and crying kids were reunited with worried loved ones.
Brenda Lebinski, mother of a third-grader, said she found a “horrendous” scene.
“Everyone was in hysterics - parents, students. There were kids coming out of the school bloodied. I don't know if they were shot, but they were bloodied,'' she said, according to Reuters.

One parent picking up his 7-year-old son said the shooting was “the most terrifying moment a parent can imagine” and described the anguish of waiting to find out if his son was a victim and then running to his child.
“It was the greatest relief in my existence,” the father said. “I’m just happy that my kid’s OK.”
Two 9mm handguns were recovered from the scene, an official told NBCNewYork.com. A rifle was found in the back of a car parked outside the school.
The FBI was assisting with the widening investigation, and authorities said there were many unanswered questions, including the motive.
“There is a great deal of search warrant activity…in and out of the state,” Vance said, without giving specifics.
Connecticut Gov. Dannel Malloy was meeting with grieving families.
“As you can imagine, the governor is horrified by what’s happened,” said aide Roy Occhiogrosso.
The death toll is the highest from a school shooting in U.S. history since a gunman killed 32 people at Virginia Tech in 2007. At Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado, two teens killed 13 people and wounded 24 in 1999.
Advertise | AdChoices

Parent Stephen Delgiadice, whose 8-year-old daughter was not hurt, said he never could have imagined such bloodshed in the quiet town of 27,000, where the police force has only three detectives.
"It's alarming, especially in Newtown, Connecticut, which we always thought was the safest place in America," he told The Associated Press.
Obama said Friday’s shooting, following the massacre at a movie theater in Aurora, Colo., and other murder sprees, showed the need for “meaningful action…regardless of the politics” to prevent more blood from being spilled.
New York City Mayor Bloomberg, who has been pushing for tougher gun laws, called for Washington to act immediately.
“Not even kindergarteners learning their A,B,Cs are safe,” he said. “We heard after Columbine that it was too soon to talk about gun laws. We heard it after Virginia Tech. After Tucson and Aurora and Oak Creek. And now we are hearing it again.”


The Believers, men and women, are protectors one of another:  [9:71]
sadah
Brother
Bro
Sr. Member
*

Reputation Power: 38
sadah is working their way up :)sadah is working their way up :)sadah is working their way up :)
Gender: Male
Posts: 479


Dont be sad...


« Reply #1 on: Dec 15, 2012 03:30 AM »

I've just listened to it on BBC world briefing and this kind brutality on innocent children breaks my heart. It's very sad indeed.

"Whoever rejects false deities and believes in Allah has grasped a firm handhold which will never break." Q 2:256"
jannah
Administrator
Hero Member
*****

Reputation Power: 277
jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!
Gender: Female
Posts: 7134


I heart the Madina


WWW
« Reply #2 on: Dec 15, 2012 11:25 AM »

This is so tragic Sad may Allah give comfort to the families. My Niece n nephew are 20 minutes from this school. They could have easily been there. So frightening. So many ppl calling for gun control. I think every school should be set up with metal detectors and all the wasted efforts of tsa should go to our children! Also ppl who are unstable need to be labeled and given proper treatment and even locked up!!!
WCoastbaba
Bro
Hero Member
*

Reputation Power: 51
WCoastbaba is on the verge of being a madinan :)WCoastbaba is on the verge of being a madinan :)WCoastbaba is on the verge of being a madinan :)WCoastbaba is on the verge of being a madinan :)WCoastbaba is on the verge of being a madinan :)
Gender: Male
Posts: 1291



« Reply #3 on: Dec 15, 2012 03:02 PM »

Oooh Sis J! That's so close by! Scary - and as you probably heard, the shooting earlier this week was in the Portland area - it's happening waaay too often these days. And of course, seeing that under-10 year olds have become victims.....yes, something definitive needs to be done - a friend back home who attends Stanford suggested that the 2nd Amendment should be changed or even repealed. 

And yes, mental heath care needs to be improved - I know it has a stigma surrounding it in the common population, but having had more exposure to those suffering from these conditions over the last several years, I've seen that getting the appropriate treatment support is crucial - the system needs to improve in this concern. Reports have said he may have had Asperger's but even if he didn't - leaders need to get to work on these issues.

BABA
 desibro

The Believers, men and women, are protectors one of another:  [9:71]
Riat8883
Ramadan Diaries
Full Member
*

Reputation Power: 25
Riat8883 barely matters :(Riat8883 barely matters :(
Gender: Female
Posts: 206


« Reply #4 on: Dec 15, 2012 05:01 PM »

Am not a news person so I didn't hear this. Just watched it on CNN. This very sad. Your child leaves for school in the morning the next thing you hear is he/she has been shot. Oh something must be done indeed.
Mubaraka
Sis
Sr. Member
*

Reputation Power: 41
Mubaraka might someday be someone..:)Mubaraka might someday be someone..:)Mubaraka might someday be someone..:)Mubaraka might someday be someone..:)
Gender: Female
Posts: 492


« Reply #5 on: Dec 15, 2012 05:38 PM »

A horrible news indeed.
It is strange that a guy with a known mental illness had so easy an access to weapons.
Wasn't there a guard at the entrance of the school?Don't know how the man got inside.

A serious change in school security systems have to be done.We can't keep hearing such news time and again.
rahma
Sis
Hero Member
*

Reputation Power: 73
rahma has a powerful personality :)rahma has a powerful personality :)rahma has a powerful personality :)rahma has a powerful personality :)rahma has a powerful personality :)rahma has a powerful personality :)rahma has a powerful personality :)
Gender: Female
Posts: 543



« Reply #6 on: Dec 15, 2012 06:35 PM »

I really have to respond to this:

Quote
a friend back home who attends Stanford suggested that the 2nd Amendment should be changed or even repealed.  


 Angry Angry Angry Angry Angry Angry Angry Angry Angry

Since 2001, our Constitution and Bill of Rights have been shredded!  No more!  The 2nd Amendment is the last one, and those evil people in the government are chomping at the bit to get there hands on it!

Taking the guns away from everybody is not the answer.  After hurricane Katrina, the military came into New Orleans and took everyone's guns.  Right after that gangs of thugs swarmed the neighborhoods and looted and raped since they knew that no one could defend themselves.  I've heard that in Australia, after legislation took away almost everyone's guns, there was a sharp rise in home invasions.  I could go on...  Not to mention that when dictators come to power, the first thing they do is disarm the populous.  Our founding fathers knew what they were doing when they put that in the Bill of Rights!

If there had been an armed teacher or staff member at the school, do you think this kid would have gotten very far?  And remember that shooting at the Batman premier?  I feel perfectly safe going to our local theater because I know that the manager has a concealed gun permit and always carries a gun.  A shooter wouldn't last two seconds.  If you look at all these horrible stories of mass gun shootings, the police show up after it's all over.  Big help.  If a crazed gunman enters your home, do you think you'll still be alive by the time the cops show up???

Taking guns away from everyone?  Not the answer.

What is the answer?

Think about the shooters.  The Batman shooter...did you get a good look at him.  Totally drugged.
The Portland shooter:  a week before the shooting he seemed to all  his friends to be 'numb'.  Taking some kind of drug?
This recent shooter.  Had autism.  What kind of drugs was he on?

(I'm talking about PRESCRIPTION drugs!)

Now check out this video.  Sorry, the speaker is pretty soporific, but the information is there:

Can Antidepressants Cause Violence?


rahma
Sis
Hero Member
*

Reputation Power: 73
rahma has a powerful personality :)rahma has a powerful personality :)rahma has a powerful personality :)rahma has a powerful personality :)rahma has a powerful personality :)rahma has a powerful personality :)rahma has a powerful personality :)
Gender: Female
Posts: 543



« Reply #7 on: Dec 15, 2012 06:56 PM »



Also:


http://www.thelonestarwatchdog.com/2012/12/15/connecticuts-strict-gun-control-laws-did-not-stop-the-school-shootings-in-newtown/


Connecticut’s Strict Gun Control Laws Did Not Stop the School Shootings in Newtown


Do not blame the gun for the massacre. Blame the individual for the act. Blame strict gun control laws and the ridicules rules of engagement used by the Police preventing them from responding effectively . Connecticut is one of the states that have the most strict gun control laws preventing the law abiding from being armed to respond to situations like what happened in Newtown. Also the federal” Gun Free School Zones” is a joke that only restrict the law abiding, not the criminal or the deranged.  It didn’t stop the gunman killing 22 students in Sandy Hooker Elementary School.

Where the government has restricted the right to keep and bear arms and the right to self defense. Violent crime explodes afterward, the people are disarmed and restricted not to defend themselves. The United Kingdom banned gun ownership outright because of a school shooting. Did the crime rate go down? No, violent crime has skyrocketed ever since the ban on all gun ownership. It is now illegal for the Homeowner to resist a criminal that invades a home. A person has no right to defend himself and his home if he is attacked if a weapon other then a gun is used also will be arrested. The defender will get more jail time then the criminal. That is England.

Israel learned to put guns in the schools when a bus full of school children were murdered. They realized back in the 1970s that arming the schools was the solution, not restricting the right of self defense.

Washington DC were gun control laws are one of the strictest. The Police have said it is futile to resist these black flash mobs on the DC Subway. If the law abiding were allowed to carry a concealed handgun on the train. There would be a different outcome. Where these flash mobs attack is where the people are restricted the right of self defense. This never reported on in the Mainstream media, but they will waste no time  reporting about a school shooting.

This tragic event could have been prevented if the people were allowed to be armed. If there was no politically correct Gun free School Zones where the faculty could have responded if they were allowed to bring a gun on campus with proper training in tactics for proper defense. Many students would be alive if the teachers were armed.

Guns is not the problem, it is the politicians restricting the people’s right to self defense. Not punishing the law abiding by banning guns. The people wanting to disarm us are our enemy. They will use everything and anything to take away our guns. They could careless about the dead children or the anguish of the families affected. They may shed a crocodile tear pretending to be sincere. They are political opportunist.

For us who are law abiding who are responsible people owning guns pushing back. Lets nullify these Gun Free School Zones and all laws the restrict self defense in all places. We need to go to our school boards, country commissioners, city councils and the county Sheriff and demand they lift all restrictions on personal defense.

Government cannot protect, nor has any intention to do so. They want to oppress us. Their lawless actions prove it. Just watch the TSA at the airports. They want the people disarmed so they can put us in FEMA camps and control every aspect of our lives.  President Obama already promised Sarah Brady of Handgun Inc. that he would disarm the American people outside of congress using the bureaucracy.

I say, don’t let emotions, fears, sad feeling rob us of our common sense. My heart goes out to the parents affected by the loss. But I cannot let emotions get in the way of my logic and common sense, Where guns are in the hands of the people with a sound mind. We are safer. We more free because we are armed. If we gave into being disarmed in the 1990s. Many of us would be dead in mass graves.

The President wants to sign the UN Small Arms Trade Treaty that would ban Americans owning firearms. These shootings happen when there is gun control measures ready to restrict gun ownership when it’s convenient for the gun grabbers.

Strict gun laws in Connecticut, the Federal Gun Free Zones did not stop the Shooter killing those children. Criminals do not obey the laws like upstanding citizen do. They only restrict the law abiding. Gun confiscation, gun control doesn’t makes us safe. It is about the government controlling the people so they cannot resist tyranny. That is why the founders wrote the second amendment, Agree?
jannah
Administrator
Hero Member
*****

Reputation Power: 277
jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!
Gender: Female
Posts: 7134


I heart the Madina


WWW
« Reply #8 on: Dec 16, 2012 08:50 AM »

For the pro-gun lobby, the answer is always more guns. "If someone had a gun there, this could have been prevented". But is that true? Who's to say one of the kids didn't get ahold of that gun and start shooting up their kindergarten. It's just a circular argument.

Btw after the UK banned gun ownership there hasn't been a single school shooting! Yes there may be violent crime ie knife crimes etc, but you have to admit that a single crazed person can't go out there and kill tens of school children!!

This is a good point I saw on FB:

The problem is beyond slogans: "guns don't kill people...". Well, alcohol doesn't get people drunk: people get drunk. But the alcohol is a vehicle. Islam, when it looks at the common good, weighs the costs of social impact and does not solely rely upon the individuals ability to enforce self-discipline. Hence, even with its few benefits which the Qur'an acknowledges, alcohol is prohibited. Likewise, if we are in the midst of a crisis of violence then the availability of guns should be discussed and reconsidered for the public good, not solely based on individual rights.
imaazh
Ramadan Diaries
Jr. Member
*

Reputation Power: 17
imaazh has no influence :(
Gender: Female
Posts: 74


« Reply #9 on: Dec 16, 2012 12:53 PM »

This story gave me chills.  All those innocents. May Allah have mercy on their souls.  It just makes me so glad that I live in Australia - a country with very strict gun legislation.  It is comforting to know that there are such strict stipulations surrounding weapons ownership in this country. 

I agree with Sister Jannah here, while it may not be the weapon but the person using the weapon that is the problem, making such dangerous tools accessible to anyone is just wrong, in my humble opinion anyway.   Yes, people need to feel safe, but is owning a dangerous weapon really the answer?  I think not.   

I recently attended a seminar on Bullying (in Australian Schools) and one of the speakers presented a study on Weapons in schools and it is scary to learn the statistics surrounding what kids are bringing to school, in the hope of defending themselves, but in all the studies we learnt about that day, guns did not factor very highly, in fact, they barely got a mention.  Why?  Because it is more difficult for the average Australian city dwelling Joe to own one, and thus for the average Joe's kid to get their hands on one. 

One thing is for certain though,  all schools do need to up the anti on security.  It is a sad state of affairs, but it absolutely has to be looked at and improved for the benefit everyone in the community.  We have to have stricter screening processes on who comes in and out of schools for the safety of all.

Just my two cents.  Hope I didn't offend anyone. 

WCoastbaba
Bro
Hero Member
*

Reputation Power: 51
WCoastbaba is on the verge of being a madinan :)WCoastbaba is on the verge of being a madinan :)WCoastbaba is on the verge of being a madinan :)WCoastbaba is on the verge of being a madinan :)WCoastbaba is on the verge of being a madinan :)
Gender: Male
Posts: 1291



« Reply #10 on: Dec 16, 2012 02:35 PM »

Sis Rahma - I understand your feelings, but it's clear that something concrete has to be done - maybe taking away guns completely isn't the answer, but they should only be in trusted hands. Yes, I agree, if there had been armed guards at the school or these other sites, people could have been saved. The repeal measure may be going too far - but it's blanket statement that we all have a right to bear arms seems too much as well - I can't believe I saw a kid (teenager) interviewed the other day after this event, saying nothing should be changed  - that made me really disgusted.

Also, just read an article saying that the mother was an avid gun collector and taught him how to shoot - and that she was very much "focused" when she was shooting at the gun range, etc.

http://openchannel.nbcnews.com/_news/2012/12/15/15935397-mom-of-suspected-school-shooter-first-to-die-was-avid-gun-enthusiast-friend-says?lite

@Mubaraka - It was reported that he forced himself inside, as there was a system where you had to buzz in at the door and if the person in control of the door recognized you, you would be let it, and the police reported he was not let in voluntarily.

Yes, I've heard a lot about Australia in these two days and how the laws there are working - and since these shootings in schools and elsewhere started to rise years ago - and now the mall shooting in Portland (where I live) , my state of Oregon has suffered twice - so I cant' stress enough how painful it is to see these incidents over and over again.

BABA
 desibro


The Believers, men and women, are protectors one of another:  [9:71]
rahma
Sis
Hero Member
*

Reputation Power: 73
rahma has a powerful personality :)rahma has a powerful personality :)rahma has a powerful personality :)rahma has a powerful personality :)rahma has a powerful personality :)rahma has a powerful personality :)rahma has a powerful personality :)
Gender: Female
Posts: 543



« Reply #11 on: Dec 17, 2012 02:46 AM »


Two points:

#1.  Gun control.  There are many people who, even though they don't agree with a total gun ban, want some sort of regluation/registration for guns.  But I, and many others in this country realize that the government is being run by evil people who want to reduce the rest of us Americans to little more than slaves; i.e., work hard, hand over all your money in taxes, shut up, and die.  A lot of us feel that the most basic of gun restrictions is just the 'camel's nose under the tent.'  There are folks here who probably don't agree with me, and that's fine.  And I don't think any kind of 'gun debate' is going to change anyone's mind.  I just felt I had to express my (different) point of view.


#2.  The point I was mainly trying to make in my post is:  forget gun control...LOOK AT MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES AND THE DRUGS THAT ARE PUMPED INTO OUR CHILDREN!!!!

Read the following article for a different point of view:

'I Am Adam Lanza's Mother': A Mom's Perspective On The Mental Illness Conversation In America


Written by Liza Long, republished from The Blue Review

Friday’s horrific national tragedy -- the murder of 20 children and six adults at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut -- has ignited a new discussion on violence in America. In kitchens and coffee shops across the country, we tearfully debate the many faces of violence in America: gun culture, media violence, lack of mental health services, overt and covert wars abroad, religion, politics and the way we raise our children. Liza Long, a writer based in Boise, says it’s easy to talk about guns. But it’s time to talk about mental illness.

While every family's story of mental illness is different, and we may never know the whole of the Lanza's story, tales like this one need to be heard -- and families who live them deserve our help.

Three days before 20 year-old Adam Lanza killed his mother, then opened fire on a classroom full of Connecticut kindergartners, my 13-year old son Michael (name changed) missed his bus because he was wearing the wrong color pants.

“I can wear these pants,” he said, his tone increasingly belligerent, the black-hole pupils of his eyes swallowing the blue irises.

“They are navy blue,” I told him. “Your school’s dress code says black or khaki pants only.”

“They told me I could wear these,” he insisted. “You’re a stupid bitch. I can wear whatever pants I want to. This is America. I have rights!”

“You can’t wear whatever pants you want to,” I said, my tone affable, reasonable. “And you definitely cannot call me a stupid bitch. You’re grounded from electronics for the rest of the day. Now get in the car, and I will take you to school.”

I live with a son who is mentally ill. I love my son. But he terrifies me.

A few weeks ago, Michael pulled a knife and threatened to kill me and then himself after I asked him to return his overdue library books. His 7 and 9 year old siblings knew the safety plan -- they ran to the car and locked the doors before I even asked them to. I managed to get the knife from Michael, then methodically collected all the sharp objects in the house into a single Tupperware container that now travels with me. Through it all, he continued to scream insults at me and threaten to kill or hurt me.

That conflict ended with three burly police officers and a paramedic wrestling my son onto a gurney for an expensive ambulance ride to the local emergency room. The mental hospital didn’t have any beds that day, and Michael calmed down nicely in the ER, so they sent us home with a prescription for Zyprexa and a follow-up visit with a local pediatric psychiatrist.

We still don’t know what’s wrong with Michael. Autism spectrum, ADHD, Oppositional Defiant or Intermittent Explosive Disorder have all been tossed around at various meetings with probation officers and social workers and counselors and teachers and school administrators. He’s been on a slew of antipsychotic and mood altering pharmaceuticals, a Russian novel of behavioral plans. Nothing seems to work.

At the start of seventh grade, Michael was accepted to an accelerated program for highly gifted math and science students. His IQ is off the charts. When he’s in a good mood, he will gladly bend your ear on subjects ranging from Greek mythology to the differences between Einsteinian and Newtonian physics to Doctor Who. He’s in a good mood most of the time. But when he’s not, watch out. And it’s impossible to predict what will set him off.

Several weeks into his new junior high school, Michael began exhibiting increasingly odd and threatening behaviors at school. We decided to transfer him to the district’s most restrictive behavioral program, a contained school environment where children who can’t function in normal classrooms can access their right to free public babysitting from 7:30-1:50 Monday through Friday until they turn 18.

The morning of the pants incident, Michael continued to argue with me on the drive. He would occasionally apologize and seem remorseful. Right before we turned into his school parking lot, he said, “Look, Mom, I’m really sorry. Can I have video games back today?”

“No way,” I told him. “You cannot act the way you acted this morning and think you can get your electronic privileges back that quickly.”

His face turned cold, and his eyes were full of calculated rage. “Then I’m going to kill myself,” he said. “I’m going to jump out of this car right now and kill myself.”

That was it. After the knife incident, I told him that if he ever said those words again, I would take him straight to the mental hospital, no ifs, ands, or buts. I did not respond, except to pull the car into the opposite lane, turning left instead of right.
“Where are you taking me?” he said, suddenly worried. “Where are we going?”

“You know where we are going,” I replied.

“No! You can’t do that to me! You’re sending me to hell! You’re sending me straight to hell!”

I pulled up in front of the hospital, frantically waiving for one of the clinicians who happened to be standing outside. “Call the police,” I said. “Hurry.”

Michael was in a full-blown fit by then, screaming and hitting. I hugged him close so he couldn’t escape from the car. He bit me several times and repeatedly jabbed his elbows into my rib cage. I’m still stronger than he is, but I won’t be for much longer.
The police came quickly and carried my son screaming and kicking into the bowels of the hospital. I started to shake, and tears filled my eyes as I filled out the paperwork -- “Were there any difficulties with… at what age did your child… were there any problems with.. has your child ever experienced.. does your child have…”

At least we have health insurance now. I recently accepted a position with a local college, giving up my freelance career because when you have a kid like this, you need benefits. You’ll do anything for benefits. No individual insurance plan will cover this kind of thing.

For days, my son insisted that I was lying -- that I made the whole thing up so that I could get rid of him. The first day, when I called to check up on him, he said, “I hate you. And I’m going to get my revenge as soon as I get out of here.”

By day three, he was my calm, sweet boy again, all apologies and promises to get better. I’ve heard those promises for years. I don’t believe them anymore.

On the intake form, under the question, “What are your expectations for treatment?” I wrote, “I need help.”

And I do. This problem is too big for me to handle on my own. Sometimes there are no good options. So you just pray for grace and trust that in hindsight, it will all make sense.

I am sharing this story because I am Adam Lanza’s mother. I am Dylan Klebold’s and Eric Harris’s mother. I am James Holmes’s mother. I am Jared Loughner’s mother. I am Seung-Hui Cho’s mother. And these boys—and their mothers—need help. In the wake of another horrific national tragedy, it’s easy to talk about guns. But it’s time to talk about mental illness.

According to Mother Jones, since 1982, 61 mass murders involving firearms have occurred throughout the country. Of these, 43 of the killers were white males, and only one was a woman. Mother Jones focused on whether the killers obtained their guns legally (most did). But this highly visible sign of mental illness should lead us to consider how many people in the U.S. live in fear, like I do.

When I asked my son’s social worker about my options, he said that the only thing I could do was to get Michael charged with a crime. “If he’s back in the system, they’ll create a paper trail,” he said. “That’s the only way you’re ever going to get anything done. No one will pay attention to you unless you’ve got charges.”

I don’t believe my son belongs in jail. The chaotic environment exacerbates Michael’s sensitivity to sensory stimuli and doesn’t deal with the underlying pathology. But it seems like the United States is using prison as the solution of choice for mentally ill people. According to Human Rights Watch, the number of mentally ill inmates in U.S. prisons quadrupled from 2000 to 2006, and it continues to rise -- in fact, the rate of inmate mental illness is five times greater (56 percent) than in the non-incarcerated population.

With state-run treatment centers and hospitals shuttered, prison is now the last resort for the mentally ill -- Rikers Island, the LA County Jail and Cook County Jail in Illinois housed the nation’s largest treatment centers in 2011.

No one wants to send a 13-year old genius who loves Harry Potter and his snuggle animal collection to jail. But our society, with its stigma on mental illness and its broken healthcare system, does not provide us with other options. Then another tortured soul shoots up a fast food restaurant. A mall. A kindergarten classroom. And we wring our hands and say, “Something must be done.”

I agree that something must be done. It’s time for a meaningful, nation-wide conversation about mental health. That’s the only way our nation can ever truly heal.

God help me. God help Michael. God help us all.

(Originally published at The Anarchist Soccer Mom.)

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/16/i-am-adam-lanzas-mother-mental-illness-conversation_n_2311009.html
WCoastbaba
Bro
Hero Member
*

Reputation Power: 51
WCoastbaba is on the verge of being a madinan :)WCoastbaba is on the verge of being a madinan :)WCoastbaba is on the verge of being a madinan :)WCoastbaba is on the verge of being a madinan :)WCoastbaba is on the verge of being a madinan :)
Gender: Male
Posts: 1291



« Reply #12 on: Dec 17, 2012 03:08 AM »

Thanks sis - I had seen that article floating around but I hadn't stopped to read it - during medical school, I did get the chance to deal with mentally ill patients to an extent and yes, while drugs are a big part of treatment, cognitive behavioral therapy/other psychotherapy is an integral part. For those who haven't dealt with it or at least haven't educated themselves about it, there is a stigma that needs to be addressed and then approached in the right way by several members of society to really help those parents out there that need it.

I can't begin to imagine what it must be like for mother's like the one in the article, though we get a glimpse of it here.

After the president's speech tonight, I do hope his strong words is followed by real action, rather than just rhetoric.

Here is the Muslim contribution to the service tonight - just missed seeing it live, but really beautiful.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=oHvYZeUV9EE

The Believers, men and women, are protectors one of another:  [9:71]
Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to: