// Enthusiastic but un-diplomatic
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Nature
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« on: Nov 01, 2013 11:36 PM »


Assalamu alaykum!

This year at school we've been joined by a young Muslim man who is practicing (I mention this because most Muslims here are just 'cultural' Muslims, who just identify with the religion in name). He's very enthusiastic and I have to say it's really nice to have someone else who's practicing on campus, particularly a young man (they seem to lose their religion much quicker than the girls do).

So on Halloween night, he sent out a very abrupt email to all the Muslims saying that participating in any other religious holiday is a form of shirk which is the greatest sin. Of course many people were offended, saying that of course they didn't mean to commit shirk, they were simply getting candy - I don't celebrate Halloween myself, but I don't bring it up to others because I think it's rather pointless to lecture people about it when they have yet to remember to keep the five prayers or want to adhere to any of the basic tenets of Islam. He later came to me very seriously speaking about how he isn't very social and doesn't care what people think, and this is all what he expected as part of being Muslim, and that there is punishment for withholding knowledge, etc etc.

I think that it's great that he wants to spread knowledge, but I tried to tell him that speaking in that manner simply will not work, that he should have sent a quiet reminder a day or two beforehand saying "Please remember, if you did not know, Muslims are not meant to celebrate holidays that have other religious roots, and thus we should stay away from Halloween celebrations. Smiley" And that that would have been much more effective, giving people time to come ask questions, as well as giving understanding rather than just yelling HARAM. The new convert came to me feeling very frightened from the idea that shirk was being committed!

He waxed rather lyrical about how he wasn't doing this for the reward, he was doing it because he just wanted to very clearly say what was right and what was wrong, and that God will punish us if we withhold knowledge, etc etc.

I didn't quite know how to reply - what advice can you give?
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« Reply #1 on: Nov 02, 2013 01:10 PM »

Tell him that yelling haram haram at everything and everyone and lecturing hell fire and brimstone at each and every opportunity will alienate Muslims, and maybe he should consider Allahs punishment for those who alienate his believers from Islam.

Allah is above all merciful and those with knowedge must engage in a beautiful and kind manner which invites to islam instead of turning the people away in droves.

I'd  tell him that straight to his face.

Then I'd say how does that make you feel?

Now think about how you have made every single Muslim on campus feel.


And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
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« Reply #2 on: Nov 02, 2013 05:08 PM »

There's always going to be guys like that, at school, in the MSA (they somehow end up president because of their self-holiness), on mosque boards etc. I think after all these years of dealing with bros like this, the best thing is just to ignore them and do your own thing. Trust me, it makes your life muuuch easier. Yes, they are doing negative dawah that you end up having to put rights but trust me, trying to convince him or give him naseeha or anything else won't work.
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« Reply #3 on: Nov 02, 2013 06:59 PM »

Did my post get deleted?
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« Reply #4 on: Nov 03, 2013 01:14 AM »

salam

If you can, try to re-channel his enthusiasm to more useful projects.  

It is good that he has a lot of energy and feels the need to want to do something.  Your role comes in advising gently and reminding wisely that to get people to listen to you, you have to talk to them in a certain way. Even if these people are born Muslims.  

There are many quotes from Quran and sunnah to use to back up your argument.  

"ولو كنت فظا غليظ القلب لانفضوا من حولك"

" ادْعُ إِلَى سَبِيلِ رَبِّكَ بِالْحِكْمَةِ وَالْمَوْعِظَةِ الْحَسَنَةِ وَجَادِلْهُمْ بِالَّتِي هِيَ أَحْسَنُ إِنَّ رَبَّكَ هُوَ أَعْلَمُ بِمَنْ ضَلَّ عَنْ سَبِيلِهِ وَهُوَ أَعْلَمُ بِالْمُهْتَدِينَ"

" ما كان الرفق في شيء إلا زانه، وما نزع من شيء إلا شانه "

I am assuming that you can read Arabic so I did not write translation b/c I am in a hurry.

If this does not work, then just do your thing and let him do his thing and khalas.  

hope this helps.  
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« Reply #5 on: Nov 03, 2013 03:12 AM »

Thanks for your advice! He honestly is a nice guy, I just think that he had the wrong idea this time, and it was partly due to the fact that English is not his native language. Inshallah things will be fine!
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Dont be sad...


« Reply #6 on: Nov 04, 2013 06:27 PM »

I remember hearing a hadith (not marfu' though) from Kitabu at tauhid  which I think is relevant here:

Narrated Ali (May Allah be pleased with him), "You should preach to the people in a way that they can easily understand. Would you like that Allah and His Messenger (May the peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) be denied?" (Al-Bukhari).

May Allah continue to guide us.

"Whoever rejects false deities and believes in Allah has grasped a firm handhold which will never break." Q 2:256"
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