Madinat al-Muslimeen Community
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Apr 20, 2014 12:00 PM
Home Help Search Login Register
News: To biryani, or not to biryani.
 


Pages: [1] 2   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: How to Attract Mr. MashAllah  (Read 1380 times)
Siham
Sis
Sr. Member
*

Reputation Power: 23
Siham barely matters :(Siham barely matters :(
Gender: Female
Posts: 468


Tranquil Heart


WWW
« on: Jan 20, 2014 08:18 PM »


How to Attract Mr. MashAllah

The ideal spouse that you should focus on is the one that when you look at that person you have no trouble in saying MashAllah, SubhanAllah, and inshAllah, but hopefully not Astagfirullah. I'm not saying the potential spouse has to be Bollywood material or like the Dubaian celebrity Omar Borkan Al- Gala (picture on the left), but someone with descent looks or a someone with a great personality, imaan, and character or perhaps with all of them combined.

First of all your imaan defines who you are in terms of being a practicing Muslim. Only Allah (Azza Wa Jaal) knows what's in your heart and what you a person needs. But the brothers don't know what's in your heart and your actions define who you are. You can say all you want that you do this and you do that but at the end of the day your actions speak louder than your words.

The questions you should ask yourself are:
1. Are you ready for marriage?
2. Can you live with someone with the opposite gender?
3. Can you be patient with another person?
4. Can you sacrifice for the other person?
If you answer yes to all that, now you should move to the next question:
6. How will you attract that person?

Every guy has a different taste in women. A short man may like tall women, a tall man may like short women. At the end of the day, you need to attract that Mr. MashAllah who will like you for who you are without you even trying.

Increase your Faith in Allah
First and foremost, you should make dua and increase your relationship with Allah (SWT). Make constant dua to find that particular spouse that you heart desires. Don't be fooled in what society tells you to like. For example, what's wrong with a darker skin woman? If a Muslim brother likes a darker skin sister then it's ok, but society, especially in the Desi (South Asian) community, the aunties favor a shaada, gori (fair skinned) girl for their sons. When we are placed in front of Allah (SWT) we will not be judged based on what skin color we were given in the duniya, but how strong our deen was and how many good deeds we conducted.

Be Attractive Physically
I know this seems like a jerky statement but you have to understand that men are visual creatures and they will not be attractive to overweight women. It's a cold, hard fact; men avoid the heavy group of women. Men favor petite or skinny women because with age the body mass will increase for women, especially after marriage so, they want a skinny spouse to start with. So sisters, if your BMI is over 22, please drop the biryani and the sweets and hit the gym hard core. I'm not saying you should wear butt tight clothes but even if you wear the abaya and the hijab, it shows if you are slim or not.

Be Feminine
Unfortunately ladies, men are attracted to the opposite of themselves. You have to understand that you are as a woman you won't be attracted to a man who is kind of feminine and soft. The opposite goes for men; they will not like a Muslim sister who boasts about being independent and tough which is a masculine trait. Ignore this whole feminism movement that you hear in the Western media and accept how Allah (SWT) created both of the genders. Women and men have a role in the household. If both partners agree that the wife can work then that's permissible but if you think that as a woman you will prioritize your career above all and be able to find a caring husband, then I'm sorry sister you are mistaken. Don't get me wrong, it's ok for women to have a job and maintain a family; however, keep on thing in mind, that men are like big babies, and you have to treat them like big babies. That means you should take the role of cooking, because in order to get to a man's heart you have to go through is stomach. If you have cooking skills, that just boosts your value in the market. That's just one characteristic of being feminine, but there's numerous to name them all.

Be Humble
MashAllah you may be a beautiful woman, but if you boast about your beauty then it will work against you. Be humble about your beauty. Humbleness is a characteristic that is very attractive to both genders. Be humble is also promoted in the etiquette of following Islam. If you think you are not humble then consider this fact, as a human you are nothing, everything was given to you as a blessing from Allah (SWT), and at his will, everything can be taken away from you.

This post may sound anti-feminine, but however, it's pro-women. You cannot fight the human nature of men and women. These are the basics which I named, but there are numerous more on how to attract that Mr. MashAllah. I hope this helps and if you have any more suggestions then don't hesitate to add them in the comment box.

"Do not treat people with contempt, nor walk insolently on the earth. Allah does not love the arrogant or the self-conceited boaster. Be modest in your bearing and subdue your voice, for the most unpleasant of voices is the braying of the ass." [The Holy Qur'an, Surah Luqman - 31:18-19]
Nature
Sis
Sr. Member
*

Reputation Power: 79
Nature has a powerful personality :)Nature has a powerful personality :)Nature has a powerful personality :)Nature has a powerful personality :)Nature has a powerful personality :)Nature has a powerful personality :)Nature has a powerful personality :)
Gender: Female
Posts: 358



« Reply #1 on: Jan 20, 2014 10:48 PM »


Be Attractive Physically
I know this seems like a jerky statement but you have to understand that men are visual creatures and they will not be attractive to overweight women. It's a cold, hard fact; men avoid the heavy group of women. Men favor petite or skinny women because with age the body mass will increase for women, especially after marriage so, they want a skinny spouse to start with. So sisters, if your BMI is over 22, please drop the biryani and the sweets and hit the gym hard core. I'm not saying you should wear butt tight clothes but even if you wear the abaya and the hijab, it shows if you are slim or not.

Be Feminine
Unfortunately ladies, men are attracted to the opposite of themselves. You have to understand that you are as a woman you won't be attracted to a man who is kind of feminine and soft. The opposite goes for men; they will not like a Muslim sister who boasts about being independent and tough which is a masculine trait. Ignore this whole feminism movement that you hear in the Western media and accept how Allah (SWT) created both of the genders. Women and men have a role in the household. If both partners agree that the wife can work then that's permissible but if you think that as a woman you will prioritize your career above all and be able to find a caring husband, then I'm sorry sister you are mistaken. Don't get me wrong, it's ok for women to have a job and maintain a family; however, keep on thing in mind, that men are like big babies, and you have to treat them like big babies. That means you should take the role of cooking, because in order to get to a man's heart you have to go through is stomach. If you have cooking skills, that just boosts your value in the market. That's just one characteristic of being feminine, but there's numerous to name them all.

A nice post, but I do have to disagree with how these last two points are argued - these characteristics are not necessarily the 'human nature' of men and women!

The comment towards women being 'fat' meaning 'ugly' is quite nasty - in my culture being plump is considered very beautiful, and in many more traditional cultures it is the same! The emphasis should be on health rather than just 'weight'.

The second point is very poor - so men have to be 'tough' and 'independent' whereas women have to be 'submissive' and 'quiet' and 'dependent'? Yes, Allah SWT gives priority roles to the husband and wife, those of provider and home-maker - but that doesn't relegate certain personality traits to each gender. The Prophet saw was a soft-spoken man, to the point that the Quran orders the Sahaba not to raise their voices above his! Aisha  may God be pleased with her was a spunky woman who argued with the Prophet, was the single largest relayer of ahadith, and took a critical part in public discourse, especially after the Prophet saw died.  According to this article, this makes them 'unnattractive', nauthubillah! It's a low blow to throw around the word 'feminism' to shame women and men into thinking that they are not feminine or masculine if they're loud/quiet/not good at cooking/like cooking. Muslim men in my life have been soft-spoken, kind, not afraid to cry - I have always been proud that I came from a background where men were not subjected to the same pressures as they are in Western society, where there is a pressure to be 'tough', 'loud', 'strong' and have a six pack, and you're considered 'gay' if you show affection to your family, gentleness, and an affinity for studying or reading! Also - imagine women brought up to believe that men are 'big babies'! How demeaning!
Siham
Sis
Sr. Member
*

Reputation Power: 23
Siham barely matters :(Siham barely matters :(
Gender: Female
Posts: 468


Tranquil Heart


WWW
« Reply #2 on: Jan 21, 2014 04:54 PM »

Quote
Transmitted from Ali [son-in-law of the Prophet], may God be pleased with him, who, when asked to describe the Prophet, peace be upon him, would say:

He was not too tall nor too short. He was medium sized. His hair was not short and curly, nor was it lank but in between. His face was not narrow, nor was it fully round, but there was a roundness to it. His skin was white. His eyes were black. He had long eyelashes. He was big-boned and had wide shoulders. He had no body hair except in the middle of his chest. He had thick hands and feet. When he walked, he walked inclined, as if descending a slope. When he looked at someone, he looked at them in full face. Between his shoulders was the seal of prophecy, the sign that he was the last of the prophets. He was the most generous hearted of men, the most truthful of them in speech, the most mild-tempered of them, and the noblest of them in lineage. Whoever saw him unexpectedly was in awe of him. And whoever associated with him familiarly loved him. Anyone who would describe him would say, ‘I never saw, before him or after him, the like of him.’ saw

Well, this sound like an extremely masculine man, the ultimate Mr. MashaAllah!!!

The Prophet, peace be upon him and Aisha, may God be pleased with her, were completely the opposite, hence the attraction, imagine a man who talks much (a feminine trait) would not be a perfect fit for Aisha, may God be pleased with her, and the same goes for the Prophet saw

"Do not treat people with contempt, nor walk insolently on the earth. Allah does not love the arrogant or the self-conceited boaster. Be modest in your bearing and subdue your voice, for the most unpleasant of voices is the braying of the ass." [The Holy Qur'an, Surah Luqman - 31:18-19]
jannah
Administrator
Hero Member
*****

Reputation Power: 277
jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!
Gender: Female
Posts: 7134


I heart the Madina


WWW
« Reply #3 on: Jan 22, 2014 01:34 PM »

Hmm, I kinda have issues with that original article. It seems to me he/she's saying women should be skinny, doormat, cooks. The last general advice about being humble seems fine enough. I always wonder what these articles are saying. Is marrying a skinny, submissive, cook correlated to better marriages? Sure everyone has their preferences but it's like these articles are teaching and enforcing stereotypes and setting what should be the "achievements" and "goals" of young Muslim girls. So this is what they have to do to attract a Muslim husband? Be thin, submissive and cook? I mean it's sad really. It's one thing for some guy to have these preferences in 'what they're looking for'. It's another to teach girls that to attract a "Mr. MashaAllah" they have to be some stereotype.
Fozia
Sis
Hero Member
*

Reputation Power: 124
Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!
Gender: Female
Posts: 2659



« Reply #4 on: Jan 23, 2014 09:32 AM »



You know these lists they can be made the other way round, there's nothing about women to indicate they do not want beautiful gorgeous, incredibly rich partners with hearts of twenty four karat gold.

Patience and sacrifice are generally only needed if one person is being oppressed ime.

And it gets on my last nerve to be told a man wants a cook, cleaner household drudge etc. If that's what you want either remain living with your mother as she's bought you up to expect that so should suffer it or pay for it.

Marriage is team work, so long as you have the same goals, and are a decent god fearing person achieving your goal together will be easier together than alone.

If you want a beautiful looking skivvy who will service you in every way, quite honestly go whistle for it.

If you want a gorgeous woman, who's a gourmet cook, an amazing housekeeper a fabulous mother a highflying super rich corporate executive and amazing in bed, then you've got to ask yourself, what the hell will you contribute to her life to enhance it? Why on earth would such a woman choose to be with you when you just add to the general drudgery of her life?

The more I read these lists the higher expectations I have for a husband otherwise I am more than happy as I am to be honest.

And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
Siham
Sis
Sr. Member
*

Reputation Power: 23
Siham barely matters :(Siham barely matters :(
Gender: Female
Posts: 468


Tranquil Heart


WWW
« Reply #5 on: Jan 25, 2014 08:34 PM »

 salam I really don’t have an issue with this article, it all depends on how you look at it… I mean, it definitely doesn’t suggest that a woman should marry-down or whatnot. All it states is if you want Mr. MashaAllah = the total package, then these pointers can boost your chances... bebzi

"Do not treat people with contempt, nor walk insolently on the earth. Allah does not love the arrogant or the self-conceited boaster. Be modest in your bearing and subdue your voice, for the most unpleasant of voices is the braying of the ass." [The Holy Qur'an, Surah Luqman - 31:18-19]
Nature
Sis
Sr. Member
*

Reputation Power: 79
Nature has a powerful personality :)Nature has a powerful personality :)Nature has a powerful personality :)Nature has a powerful personality :)Nature has a powerful personality :)Nature has a powerful personality :)Nature has a powerful personality :)
Gender: Female
Posts: 358



« Reply #6 on: Jan 28, 2014 03:16 AM »

salam I really don’t have an issue with this article, it all depends on how you look at it… I mean, it definitely doesn’t suggest that a woman should marry-down or whatnot. All it states is if you want Mr. MashaAllah = the total package, then these pointers can boost your chances... bebzi

The problem lies in defining just what 'the total package' is, and if these pointers really do 'boost your chances'! I just took issue with those two points that I mentioned above - opposites do not necessarily attract, nor are certain personality traits only 'feminine' or 'masculine'. Let's re-emphasize the beginning of the article - that you should be yourself, and not 'tone your personality down' to what you think some imaginary ideal is. Different people are attracted to different aspects in other human beings, and I think that you shouldn't have to marry someone who makes you be someone you're not! Spiritually it would be an exhausting experience, to say the least.
jannah
Administrator
Hero Member
*****

Reputation Power: 277
jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!
Gender: Female
Posts: 7134


I heart the Madina


WWW
« Reply #7 on: Jan 28, 2014 08:55 AM »

I'm just wondering how an article written entitled 'How to attract Miss MashaAllah' would go down. One that told men to: Be extremely wealthy, work out and have muscles, be more macho and dominantly masculine. (After all, these attract women right?)

Dunno... again I think the problem is not telling women to change themselves to fulfill men's expectations, but what we need to do is change men's expectations to be more realistic, normal, accepting and varied. It seems it's always women who have to change to 'be more attractive, to be more feminine' and blah blah, whatever ludicrous expectations there are, without examining why men think that being extremely thin, extremely white, not being a career woman yet working, being submissively feminine, etc are all attractive things and correlate to a 'good wife/marriage'. I mean how has it come about that being strong and independent are now bad things to look for in a spouse??
jannah
Administrator
Hero Member
*****

Reputation Power: 277
jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!
Gender: Female
Posts: 7134


I heart the Madina


WWW
« Reply #8 on: Jan 28, 2014 09:00 AM »

And I just thought of something... how do you work and not be a career woman??
akhan
Bro
Hero Member
*

Reputation Power: 107
akhan has an aura about them. :)akhan has an aura about them. :)akhan has an aura about them. :)akhan has an aura about them. :)akhan has an aura about them. :)akhan has an aura about them. :)akhan has an aura about them. :)akhan has an aura about them. :)akhan has an aura about them. :)akhan has an aura about them. :)
Gender: Male
Posts: 1706



« Reply #9 on: Jan 28, 2014 01:07 PM »

Men want to change women, and women want to change men Tongue
Fozia
Sis
Hero Member
*

Reputation Power: 124
Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!
Gender: Female
Posts: 2659



« Reply #10 on: Jan 28, 2014 01:47 PM »

I don't think that's true.

society on the whole appears to be geared towards pleasing men and women are taught from the cradle they must change themselves/mould themselves into the ideal wife.

Men aren't taught at all to be ideal husbands or that if they behave in such a manner they wont be good husband material. not seriously at least.

I've watched slightly bemused the arrogance of the mother of boys insisting that people are dying to marry their sons, because they are boys and nothing else!




And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
JustOne
Sis
Hero Member
*

Reputation Power: 17
JustOne has no influence :(
Gender: Female
Posts: 543


« Reply #11 on: Jan 30, 2014 01:35 PM »

I actually laughed when I read this. This is article is complete garbage. It sounds like it was written with someone in mind, and it's telling her that she needs to completely change who she is. Just another reason to put down a girl and tell her she's doing everything wrong. You know even if you take 10 teenage girls and model them in this way, the statistics still won't change. Roughly half will still have a tough time getting married. Of the ones that do marry eventually, most will marry slightly deranged or outright abusive men. There will be 1 who will marry a Mr. MashaAllah, but most will marry average or subpar men. The one who lucks out- well that's just it, she lucks out.

So why not raise your girls so they have something other than a man to look forward to?
Fozia
Sis
Hero Member
*

Reputation Power: 124
Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!
Gender: Female
Posts: 2659



« Reply #12 on: Jan 30, 2014 03:47 PM »


So why not raise your girls so they have something other than a man to look forward to?


Absolutely, I'm raising my girls to look forward and towards being so much more than some mans slave.

And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
sadah
Brother
Bro
Sr. Member
*

Reputation Power: 38
sadah is working their way up :)sadah is working their way up :)sadah is working their way up :)
Gender: Male
Posts: 479


Dont be sad...


« Reply #13 on: Jan 31, 2014 01:56 PM »

I actually laughed when I read this. This is article is complete garbage. It sounds like it was written with someone in mind, and it's telling her that she needs to completely change who she is. Just another reason to put down a girl and tell her she's doing everything wrong. You know even if you take 10 teenage girls and model them in this way, the statistics still won't change. Roughly half will still have a tough time getting married. Of the ones that do marry eventually, most will marry slightly deranged or outright abusive men. There will be 1 who will marry a Mr. MashaAllah, but most will marry average or subpar men. The one who lucks out- well that's just it, she lucks out.

So why not raise your girls so they have something other than a man to look forward to?

Amen JO, amen!!! Now, how to get the rest of the ummah to think this way...sigh!

That's indeed the challenge Sis. Shahida. When I first read the article, I wondered when would this unnecessary obsession about marriage stop. I didn't want to comment until you guys started commenting with more sensible points. The Ummah truly need to start thinking beyond marriage. I always argue with my friends who think getting married is the ultimate goal of life. I don't buy that and I dont think I will ever be convinced to. Men and women should strive to be people who can make positive impact on the society and the environment. That is what I consider to be the ultimate goal. I consider the prophetic ahadeeth on the importance of marriage as a way of ensuring that we safeguard our chastity/morality which some people may be capable of in some other way. There had been in history many pious people, men and women (people like Ibn Taimiyya), who lived unmarried but they are still remembered for their contributions to the deen. It's a norm in the society I come from to see young ladies quit school to be married or await marriage. They say marriage is half of the deen. I ask, "if that should be taken literally, what happened to the deen of prophets wives when they seized to be married and other pious scholars who did not marry at all during their lifetime?" Many things are just stereotypes and people have embedded them into religion.

"Whoever rejects false deities and believes in Allah has grasped a firm handhold which will never break." Q 2:256"
Halima
Sis
Hero Member
*

Reputation Power: 39
Halima is working their way up :)Halima is working their way up :)Halima is working their way up :)
Gender: Female
Posts: 1714



« Reply #14 on: Jan 31, 2014 11:13 PM »

Just the words Mr. MashaAllah raised my eye brow before I even read it. Un-realistic expectations are difficult to be met. And whenever I hear or read that "women should this and shouldn't do that", my defenses just go up automatically. Mr. MashaAllah... hmm interesting. Would there be a Miss MashaAllah?

The Almighty Allah says,

"When a servant thinks of Me, I am near.
When he invokes Me, I am with him.
If he reflects on Me in secret, I reply in secret,
And if he acknowledges Me in an assembly,
I acknowledge him in a far superior assembly."

- Prophet Muhammad (SAW), as reptd by Abu Huraira
akhan
Bro
Hero Member
*

Reputation Power: 107
akhan has an aura about them. :)akhan has an aura about them. :)akhan has an aura about them. :)akhan has an aura about them. :)akhan has an aura about them. :)akhan has an aura about them. :)akhan has an aura about them. :)akhan has an aura about them. :)akhan has an aura about them. :)akhan has an aura about them. :)
Gender: Male
Posts: 1706



« Reply #15 on: Feb 01, 2014 02:07 AM »

Would there be a Miss MashaAllah?
I hope there would be. Otherwise how's baba gonna get married? Grin
Fozia
Sis
Hero Member
*

Reputation Power: 124
Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!
Gender: Female
Posts: 2659



« Reply #16 on: Feb 01, 2014 06:21 AM »




Reminds me of a joke, there's a chap who rejects all proposals because he's looking for the perfect woman. Unfortunately when finally finds her, she's looking for the perfect man...




And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
akhan
Bro
Hero Member
*

Reputation Power: 107
akhan has an aura about them. :)akhan has an aura about them. :)akhan has an aura about them. :)akhan has an aura about them. :)akhan has an aura about them. :)akhan has an aura about them. :)akhan has an aura about them. :)akhan has an aura about them. :)akhan has an aura about them. :)akhan has an aura about them. :)
Gender: Male
Posts: 1706



« Reply #17 on: Feb 01, 2014 07:40 AM »

yea I've heard that joke too, it said the chap was baba, didn't it? Wink
Jaihoon
Jaihoon
Bro
Sr. Member
*

Reputation Power: 21
Jaihoon barely matters :(Jaihoon barely matters :(
Gender: Male
Posts: 362



WWW
« Reply #18 on: Feb 01, 2014 08:04 AM »

Assalamu alaikum

Dunno about other points, but sure agree with "to get to a man's heart you have to go through is stomach." Smiley


sadah
Brother
Bro
Sr. Member
*

Reputation Power: 38
sadah is working their way up :)sadah is working their way up :)sadah is working their way up :)
Gender: Male
Posts: 479


Dont be sad...


« Reply #19 on: Feb 01, 2014 08:36 AM »

yea I've heard that joke too, it said the chap was baba, didn't it? Wink

No, it didnt. It said the chap was Akhan (N Bhai) Wink

"Whoever rejects false deities and believes in Allah has grasped a firm handhold which will never break." Q 2:256"
jannah
Administrator
Hero Member
*****

Reputation Power: 277
jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!
Gender: Female
Posts: 7134


I heart the Madina


WWW
« Reply #20 on: Feb 01, 2014 08:26 PM »

akhan awww why u so mean to baba... the bro has to finish his studies u know. it's not that easy to get married for anyone! and if u ask me everyone starts out looking for perfection! then they see reality and it re-sets their criteria... but the best way is to focus on being the best muslim/person you can be and keep making dua then when the time is right Allah swt will u send you a good companion iA.

Quote
Men and women should strive to be people who can make positive impact on the society and the environment. That is what I consider to be the ultimate goal.

So true bro!!
Siham
Sis
Sr. Member
*

Reputation Power: 23
Siham barely matters :(Siham barely matters :(
Gender: Female
Posts: 468


Tranquil Heart


WWW
« Reply #21 on: Feb 02, 2014 06:51 PM »

Quote
it's not that easy to get married for anyone!

Indeed, because those people take delight in their ignorance, and they don't want to better themselves. So, if they don't make marriage a priority;
Do you know where they usually end up? Nowhere but lonely and miserable.  

Quote
So why not raise your girls so they have something other than a man to look forward to?

Oh, really.


Quote
True, in my case... I got married at 26, and it was arranged.

We met once when I was 4 and once when I was 18....


How hypocritical!


I actually laughed when I read this. This is article is complete garbage. It sounds like it was written with someone in mind, and it's telling her that she needs to completely change who she is. Just another reason to put down a girl and tell her she's doing everything wrong. You know even if you take 10 teenage girls and model them in this way, the statistics still won't change. Roughly half will still have a tough time getting married. Of the ones that do marry eventually, most will marry slightly deranged or outright abusive men. There will be 1 who will marry a Mr. MashaAllah, but most will marry average or subpar men. The one who lucks out- well that's just it, she lucks out.

Amen JO, amen!!! Now, how to get the rest of the ummah to think this way...sigh!

This pessimistic view of yours is not helpful and I find your analysis to be baseless. Therefore, I would encourage that you adopt more optimistic outlook on life.

"Do not treat people with contempt, nor walk insolently on the earth. Allah does not love the arrogant or the self-conceited boaster. Be modest in your bearing and subdue your voice, for the most unpleasant of voices is the braying of the ass." [The Holy Qur'an, Surah Luqman - 31:18-19]
Fozia
Sis
Hero Member
*

Reputation Power: 124
Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!
Gender: Female
Posts: 2659



« Reply #22 on: Feb 02, 2014 10:20 PM »

who are the first and third quotes sis?

I personally think stay away from marrying someone who wants to change you or someone who you think willl change for you. Marry someone you can see yourself growing old with and do istikhara loads and loads and shedloads of istikhara.

And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
jannah
Administrator
Hero Member
*****

Reputation Power: 277
jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!jannah is awe-inspiring mA!
Gender: Female
Posts: 7134


I heart the Madina


WWW
« Reply #23 on: Feb 03, 2014 12:44 AM »

Never realized how contentious this topic was. I think everyone is going to have a different opinion on it. Hopefully the married one's can give wise advice to the unmarried iA.
Fozia
Sis
Hero Member
*

Reputation Power: 124
Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!Fozia is awe-inspiring mA!
Gender: Female
Posts: 2659



« Reply #24 on: Feb 03, 2014 08:49 AM »

salam

you know something, I think sometimes as we don't all speak English as a first language, something does tend to get lost in translation.

Sis Siham, we are all discussing our views of the article you posted, nobody was angry or rude about it (slightly incredulous and tongue in cheek perhaps), but I think depending on how one reads the words the replies could be taken differently.

I myself have clashed with posters who I've (I am ashamed to admit) written off only to later find them to be intelligent profound people with big hearts mashallah.

I do think healthy debate is good especially about marriage, as someone who has been married (very unhappily) and is now single quite cheerfully (Alhumdulillah), I reckon a lot of the advice and points of view are exactly what I wished someone had told naiive idealistic me when I first got married, altho I wasn't around on the madina at that time.

As a mother of daughters, I would never ever counsel my girls to change themselves to fit an (ever changing) mould of some mythical ideal wife. I want my girls to be confident, awesome, headstrong hugely educated and knowledgeable kick ass Muslimah's  who make people sit up and reassess their prejudice of the Muslim women! (I'm not demanding at all me Wink )

Much love

Wassalaam


And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
Pages: [1] 2   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  




Powered by SMF 1.1.18 | SMF © 2013, Simple Machines
GirlyMan Theme by Aku