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Apr 23, 2014 06:31 PM
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News: A rakah a rakah! My kingdom for a rakah!'
 


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Author Topic: How to Attract Mr. MashAllah  (Read 1390 times)
Siham
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« Reply #25 on: Feb 03, 2014 06:13 PM »

We should close this thread.

I don't think it's appropriate to suggest that we should close this thread, people are entitled to their own opinion and it's important that we have healthy productive debates/discussions.

Sr. Fozia, I have a daughter as well and believe me I don't want her to be a doormat for some guy, but the reality is that we need to work on ourselves to be better Muslims whether one is married or not, Allah said do your best and I will help you but we are so fatalistic that we don't want to exert our efforts.    

The fact that we are lazy and constantly make excuses will not get us anywhere. When I read the above article, I see that a woman need to be a woman and a man need to be a man, perhaps things have shifted a bit nowadays and some women have lost their femininity and vice versa.

Thus, wherever the truth come from we should accept it and not get easily offended, I always tell my younger/unmarried sister to learn how to cook, and she often says she will marry a chef and if she were overweight, I'd have also advised her to lose weight, so I don't understand why people are afraid of change, change can be good and it's ultimately to your own benefit.

"Do not treat people with contempt, nor walk insolently on the earth. Allah does not love the arrogant or the self-conceited boaster. Be modest in your bearing and subdue your voice, for the most unpleasant of voices is the braying of the ass." [The Holy Qur'an, Surah Luqman - 31:18-19]
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« Reply #26 on: Feb 03, 2014 06:38 PM »


I personally feel everyone regardless of sex and desire to be married everyone should know how to cook, keep a clean house and have basic sewing skills. These are basic necessities everyone needs to live life.

I'd like to marry a man with chef skills Cheesy or make friends with culinary chef especially one who's speciality is far eastern food.... I'm hungry.

And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
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« Reply #27 on: Feb 03, 2014 06:39 PM »

I do agree tho men and women need to learn to be themselves, but having lived life I do not want my chidlren male or female to ever be dependant on their spouse or anyone aside from Allah.

And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
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« Reply #28 on: Feb 03, 2014 07:25 PM »

Salam,

Okay, I don't want to close this thread yet. I hope we can all keep our sisterhood/brotherhood love and kindness, which is a lot more important than fighting over our opinions . Everyone is going to have a different opinion. As long as the responses are not personal/insulting iA we should be allright to continue discussing. If someone feels something was too personal just private message me.

How we want to raise our daughters/sons is a very important discussion topic, as long as we do it respectfully and know not everyone is the same. We can't really decide what a person should look for in marriage because 'to each his/her own'. We can think it's not right or not like it, but moving forward maybe we should discuss how we'd like to raise our sons and daughters.

I think everyone would agree that we would like them to be able to find compatible mates and have happy/loving relationships. The question is, how do we do this?


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« Reply #29 on: Feb 03, 2014 08:51 PM »

hmmm... besides the misunderstandings, this thread is becoming boring(so is madina on the whole).

baba, i.e madina's mr. mashallah, why don't you tell us how you'll be attracted Wink
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« Reply #30 on: Feb 04, 2014 11:35 AM »

Asalaamu Alaikum bro


The Qur'an outlines a method by which spouses can ensure they marry appropriately:


...women of purity are for men of purity and men of purity are for women of purity...


One interpretation is that our own character and sincerity determines the type of spouse we will marry. In essence, we can help to choose our own Mr/Miss MashaAllah if we correct our own shortcomings.


As that other famous Quranic verse states, Allah will not change our (unmarried) condition until we change that which is in ourselves.


And Allah knows best.

Say: "O ye my servants who believe! Fear your Lord, good is (the reward) for those who do good in this world. Spacious is God's earth! those who patiently persevere will truly receive a reward without measure!" [39:10]
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« Reply #31 on: Feb 05, 2014 06:23 AM »

Marriage is one half Patience. The other half if anything left is Love.

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« Reply #32 on: Feb 05, 2014 01:46 PM »

Sister Siham...

Assalaamu alaikum

I'm assuming those are all quotes from me (the second one certainly is) - from different threads. Not sure what you find hypocritical. If I was unmarried would it make more sense for me to have the opinion that I do?

Anyway, I'm not offended, you can disagree with me in any way. But I would like to clear up that I am not a pessimist - merely reflecting what I see around.

Apologies for offending you- unintentional, I promise.

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« Reply #33 on: Feb 05, 2014 10:18 PM »

Also, after thinking about this for a few hours, I think if I knew a highly overweight, unmarried girl, I might tell her to lose weight (depending on how well I know her), but certainly not to get or to keep Mr. MashaAllah - for her own health and because she owes it to her Creator to take care of her body. And learning to cook is an essential skill that she will need regardless of anything.

It would also mean that fat girls don't get married, when they actually do.  So once again, it doesn't come down to appearance but it does come down to luck .... Fate?


I really stick by my original point and I don't see it's correlation with getting married?
Siham
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« Reply #34 on: Feb 07, 2014 01:25 AM »

As-Salaamu` alaykum,
Dear Sister,

I think we have to agree to disagree on this, because one has to love oneself in order for him/her to be loved by someone else.  And as many studies and surveys have revealed that attractiveness plays an important factor in choosing a spouse, particularly for men.

Lastly, people should give an advice that they themselves will adhere to insha`Allah. As the famous hadith emphasizes below:

On the authority of Abu Hamzah Anas bin Malik (may Allah be pleased with him) the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "None of you will believe until you love for your brother what you love for yourself." [Bukhari & Muslim]

One Love,
W`s-salâm

"Do not treat people with contempt, nor walk insolently on the earth. Allah does not love the arrogant or the self-conceited boaster. Be modest in your bearing and subdue your voice, for the most unpleasant of voices is the braying of the ass." [The Holy Qur'an, Surah Luqman - 31:18-19]
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« Reply #35 on: Feb 07, 2014 05:20 AM »

Like most people, I don't enjoy the slightest implication that I'm a hypocrite - but since you are choosing to be indirect with your words, I will respect your advice and agree to disagree.

Once again, I'm not offended. And I would prefer that we clear the air before I become disengaged with the forum again. This topic, or any other topic is not worth it to me if it means that you (a sister I have known for a long time) will be upset over it.  So if you want, I will delete my posts on this thread.
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« Reply #36 on: Feb 07, 2014 06:14 PM »

Ok I think we've exhausted this topic.

Jazaks for participating all.
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