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Author Topic: Canada: Polygamous Muslim marriages 'on the rise'  (Read 19169 times)
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Concerned Sr.
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« Reply #50 on: Sep 11, 2008 03:16 AM »

ASAK

It has been 3 months since this article has been published, and i was reading the responses but never had a courage to comment. But being an outraged mother of young children and an educator it is unacceptable for me to allow people in my community to practice polygamy on the name of 'Shariah"

 Huh? i would like to update my Canadian friends who are concerned about "Polygamy" among Canadian muslims.
Polygamy is not being spare among young Canadian born educated (professional) practising muslims; who runs the mosque and presented as a role model for youth, and  violating Canadian law as well as creating a bad example with in a community.
Thus making it worse for young girls to bond themselves in marital knot where they feel that they cannot trust their husbands to be fair to them so rather they prefer being single. Moreover many young boys can follow this lead and practice polygamy on the name of shariah, that will further deteriorate already existing problems in a Muslim community.

I think we should do something to stop this 'nuisance' i truly believe these men are practicing halal way of having an affair. This practice will definitely damage Muslim family values and that can affect  upbringing of children in this challenging society.

SO PLEASE TO HELP PROTECT OUR FUTURE GENERATIONS WE SHOULD MAKE A DIFFERENCE
Jazakallah
Concerned Sr.

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« Reply #51 on: Sep 11, 2008 05:30 AM »

wsalam,

Isn't it allowed in some areas of Utah and some other areas too? Allahu alam, but  if it's allowed in some areas and it's practiced properly with all the conditions, and the sisters are protected and given their rights I don't think there should be a problem. Whatever abuses you see I agree we should try to work on preventing those, but I don't think the problem is with "polygamy" it's how it's being abused and misused.

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cheese
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« Reply #52 on: Sep 11, 2008 06:28 AM »

After initially posting on this thread, I stopped because I feared that if I argue too much some of those with opposing views might make kufr statements in justification of their view by attacking Islam itself. It has happened before.

Since then I have read a couple of the later posts so I have to respond.

Polygamy is Hallal. Our religion has been perfected; the last verse of the Quran to be revealed clearly states that.
Polygamy is as Hallal today as it was during the time of our Prophet pbh, and before his time. It was Hallal in the Shariat of Esa, Musa and Ibrahim pbu them all. And it will be Hallal up until the last day and its permissibility will continue for all eternity in Jannah.

The only reason some brainwashed people are against it is because the Muslims are a defeated nation. It is the characteristics of a defeated nation to emulate the victors.
Because the White Christians who conquered Muslim nations don’t like polygamy, some Muslims have decided they don’t like it too.
That is the only reason.
If you are honest you would admit it.
Look in to your hearts, is polygamy the only aspect of this deen whose dislike you share with the conquerors?
What do you think about the death penalty for apostates, and homosexuals?
And the other rules the colonialists don’t like?

I have been attacked many times on this board and even given warnings for what I have said against Jews, Christians, Qadyanis and other Mushriks. Because it is against the constitution to attack Kaffar. But threads like this clearly prove attacks on Muslims including ullima are completely constitutional!
Whether you like it or not, Polygamy and all the other bits of our perfect religion will remain the way they are, because our religion is perfect.
Unlike other religions, the rules of Islam are chosen by Allah. So you, the kings and rulers, the ulima, the feminists and the kaffir colonialists who conquered us have no authority to change the rules of our religion. Their statements are just worthless words. Islam has no Talmud, it has no Pope, and religion belongs to Allah whether you like it or not.
This thread isn’t about me sprouting hate, it is about others sprouting hate against that Canadian Alim. Which makes it clear, when a lot of people say they respect the ullima, they mean they respect their ulimah, the only ulimah who they respect are the ones that agree with them.
If the females here don’t like polygamy, don’t do it. But don’t you dare state that women who want it can’t have it. When I read it I feel the same as when I read articles by feminist Muslims who want Hijab banned.
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« Reply #53 on: Sep 11, 2008 06:41 AM »

Asalaamu Alaikum  bro


You know if you ever listen to the CD Series The Poor Man’s Book of Assistance by Hamza Yusuf, there’s a part in there where he relates a section about having bad adab [etiquette] and says something along the lines of:


Is it Sunnah to have bad adab?


When you think of the hadith where it’s stated that our Prophet saw was sent to perfect noble characteristics, isn’t it a wonder that we have so many Muslims in the world today who seem unable to have some basic manners?


I remember hearing from one of my teachers how the Prophet saw would always look at someone directly when he was talking to them. He wouldn’t be fiddling elsewhere, looking distracted, listening to others but would give the person his full attention.


Compare that to today when you have a meeting with someone and they answer their mobile whilst talking to you, or they check their email or even leave half way through and ask you to wait until they come back!!


We seem to forget that Islam spread so widely because non Muslims were astounded and amazed by the behavior of the Muslims and their communities. That obviously begins with one’s own self and one’s own good character.

Say: "O ye my servants who believe! Fear your Lord, good is (the reward) for those who do good in this world. Spacious is God's earth! those who patiently persevere will truly receive a reward without measure!" [39:10]
Concerned Sr.
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« Reply #54 on: Sep 11, 2008 10:55 AM »

ASAK

Jazakallah,  i appreciate your response but let me make it  clear, in this case i am objecting the brothers who indulge in polygamy under islamic umbrella. I am not convinced how can a devoted Muslim only chooses one aspect of Islam and avoids many other duties that he is suppose to fulfill. For e.g: ignoring the duties towards young children leaving behind young wife to perform all the household duties etc. etc...
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« Reply #55 on: Sep 11, 2008 12:03 PM »

Salam sisters and brothers,

what an interesting and at times heated thread  bebzi

These are my personal opinions, based on my own experiences. My father, chose to marry twice. My mother and fathers marriage was arranged (my father agreed to it-it was not forced)-my mother essentially became te second wife as my father selected his own first wife in the UK.

My father like many men became bored with one of his wives-which was my mother.  This was within 6 months of the marriage taking place. Before I was born my father left my teenage mother THREE TIMES. My mum was so scared and frightened-she even took an overdose (my mother was 15 when she was married off-her basic Islamic teachings were very very basic-noone explained the value of life and how ending ones life was wrong).

So mums attempt failed, and I was born. My father simply chose to IGNORE me. Does anyone know how it feels to be ignored by a parent? Does anyone else know how it feels to know you have a parent who said he had an Islamic right to more than one wife, he expressed it and now hes happy with his first wife and family? Do you understand how a child feels when they are taken to school everyday by a grandparent and children whisper "her daddies got two wives and doesn't live with her so her grandads her daddy now?".  My mum was abused on a daily basis by my fathers sisters-because my father chose to abuse the Islamic right to have more than one wife. He abused it no matter what anyone says.

My father refused blankly to divorce my mother-simply because he claimed he had a right to have two wives. My mum was mentally abused by my father and his family for too long-10 years. After this mum built up the courage to leave my fathers family home and with the help of the UK government (for fears of safety) seeked a divorce (Hulla??-sorry cannot spell today!).

My father has never dealt with me and even chose to not be present at my nikkah-he was informed of it. He still doesn't think he did anything wrong my leaving my mother and me to live on state benefits.

Why am I telling you this? When the practice of more than one wife is done in none-Muslim countries the impact is larger than it would be in say Pakistan and Afganisation where a lot of wives live together and nothing is thought of it.
In countries such as the UK the impact is different. My father got bored of having two wives which he says was his right. He couldn't afford two wives but did the person performing the Nikkah take that into consideration? Of course not.

What Islamic rights did my father did my mother? Did he financially support her? No. Did he even come and visit her. Nope. Did he even come and see me? No.

Children are often the ones forgotten in these types of situations, yet in none-Muslim countries its more important for children to have strong values of religion. Seeing someone abuse the religion like this breeds negativity.

I know there is Muslim brothers who are able to take on second wives and treat them fairly-but can you garentee that you will do so until your last breath? Will you treat all your children equally and not ignore than like my father chose to?

If you wish to use a certain right given to you in Islam you MUST be prepared and forfil all other criterias with that right. It is simply not a case of choosing what you want and then ignoring the rest.

There is many questions a brother must ask himself before taking on a second wife-can he afford to? Can he divide his time equally amongst his wives?

And if you have sisters and daughters-would you be fine, happy and dandy with their husbands taking on more wives? You'll say "of course it's an Islamic right" now but how would it feel to watch your own cry themselves to sleep night after night after night wondering where they went wrong and why their husband has moved out into a new home with wife number 3 or even 4.

I've seen sisters lives destroyed by brothers who've taken on second wives because they felt their first marriage wasn't working. The first wives end up on a recycling heap which these brothers may come back to when there old and frail because they simply can.

As you can tell, I'm personally against the idea of more than one wife in this day and age. I am not saying I am against the Islamic rule of brothers being able to take more than one wife though. Shariah law should be practiced completely-not like pick and mix sweets.

And as someone previously said (forgive me for forgetting whom-was it Sister Fozia?) if you live in anywhere in the world you SHOULD stay within the laws. Taking the law into your own hands is never good. What would we do if none-Muslim extremists decided one day to start slaughtering Muslims as they want to? It wouldn't be nice now would it.

I can see faces of brothers and sisters now saying "ah this case is a one off" I'm afraid it's not. Just visit us in the Midlands in the UK and I can present to you at least 25 sisters who've gone through similar experiences to my mother.

Our Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) wasn't just sent to guide us Muslims, he is a unique, true example to EVERYONE.
This life is only a test-passing will equal Jannah, Inshallah!
Oh Muslim brothers and sisters-consider sponsoring an Orphan if Allah has blessed you with the finances to do so-Ameen.
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« Reply #56 on: Sep 11, 2008 04:58 PM »

salam

Oh Sr Princess, I am so sorry. may your life be filled with so much happiness you wont have occassion to revisit past hurts ever..

It's often the case when one is busy imposing ones own rights over others, one is at the same time riding roughshod over the rights of others.

I have also found increasingly, that the thought, and one day perhaps very soon, I am going to be answering to my creator for this, helps me keep a vice like grip on reality.



Wassalaam

And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright. Surah 2  Verse 186
ume bilal
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« Reply #57 on: Sep 13, 2008 10:48 PM »

Assalam Ailkum.,
Much has been said about the couples invoved...Who knows the ins and outs of what really went on.
Forgive me if I am not as knowledgeable as the brothers who say polygamy is halal. As I understand it  under Islamic Law a second marriage cannot be performed if the current wife does not give her permission..Correct me if I am wrong!
Up to now there is no record of Safa Rigby giving her permission for this so surely that renders the marrige invalid and thus haram.
There are those that always refer to their countries of residence as "the land of the kufr".

I am the first to admit that especially since 9/11 there are many who no longer trust us, however these "Kufr lands" allow us to dress as we wish  and practice our religion freely. For this I say Alhumdilliah.
Safa Rigby needs our Duah and the children of both couples...We should not be trying to justify what  sounds like  cheating on the part of certain individuals in this unhappy affair.
Salaams.
JJ
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« Reply #58 on: Sep 13, 2008 11:31 PM »

Assalam Ailkum.
My oh my!!...Brother Cheese....You seem to know a lot about St. Augustine....I must say I am not happy about your distinction by colour...We are all descended from Adam ...I dislike the references to colour..
Not wishing to start another angry debate, but this is part of the problem in Darfur.
As muslims we should not discriminate on colour. Allah knows  why he did  not make us all the same.
I don't wish to be personal but you seem very angry. May Allah soften your heart. I ask you to stop for one minute think of the pain and distress of Safa Rigby and the innocent children involved. This is a sad situation and  not a good example to non muslims of the Islamic way of life.
Salaams.
JJ
cheese
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« Reply #59 on: Sep 13, 2008 11:41 PM »

Umm Billal, with all due respect, you are wrong.
This condition does not exist, in the Quran or in the Sunnah. For anyone to state it is a condition, they have to bring a verse of the Quran or a hadith of the Prophet pbh stating this condition.

“"Kufr lands" allow us to dress as we wish  and practice our religion freely”
While they allow you to dress the way you want, they spend the money you give them in taxes to slaughter your brothers and sisters all over the world.
And this thread itself is testament to how much they believe in religious freedom and hypocrisy. They ban one man from living together with two women in Marriage, but they allow married men to commit as much adultery they like, married women to have as many children by as many men as they like and this is applauded as freedom.
They interfere with our very bedrooms, and the claim religious freedom?
What religious freedom?
I don’t see this as allowing us to practice our religion thing, I really don’t see it. What I see is they interfere and attack our religion at each and every opportunity. Look at the number of Muslims locked up on made up charges.
Look at the number of women who have lost their Jobs, lost places at university and school for dressing Islamicly.
And look at how they harass Muslims at airports?
Who else do they treat like this?
We are second class citizens, we are seen as the filth beneath their feet, the only reason they tolerate us being alive is they need our labour meaning their greed for the money we provide them is greater than their hatred of us.


Concerned Sr.
“brothers who indulge in polygamy under islamic umbrella.”
Brothers don’t do polygamy as a duty; they do it because Allah has not forbidden them from doing it.
It is not practiced under the Islamic umbrella; it is practiced under every umbrella, as polygamy is Hallal in each and every religion. Humans might forbid it, but every religion allows it. The key question is who has authority to forbid, Humans or Allah?
Who should we worship, Humans or Allah?

“ignoring the duties towards young children leaving behind young wife”
This statement is irrelevant to polygamy. It is to do with Marriage. Is marrying one wife Hallal? Is a wife marrying a husband Hallal?
What if the husband or wife doesn’t fulfil their duties?
Should someone get married at all, as it isn’t obligatory and doing so requires obligations?
Catholic clergy have forbidden themselves from getting married. Are nuns and priest right to forbid what Allah has allowed? If not, are they equally wrong to forbid polygamy when Allah has allowed it in their scriptures? If not, are Muslims wrong for forbidding themselves from doing polygamy when Allah has allowed it in our scriptures?
Remember Allah say about the Jews and Christians; they take their Priests and rabbis as gods above Allah. How are we any different when we do what they do?
 

Princess you have told us your mothers side of the story. And no one can make a judgment from hearing one side of a story. Your father has his side too.
Before people line up to say how bad he is, they should realise that there is always two sides to every story.
Did they get married in the UK? If not your last statement about abiding by the law of the land is irrelevant. Unlike the Dutch law which bans living in polygamy, UK law only forbids additional marriage. It doesn’t require a man who went in to a polygamous marriage in another country to divorce additional wives when they arrive in the UK, and the UK government with its laws has no jurisdiction in Pakistan.
If your father didn’t give you and your mother your rights, that’s his sin. His sin isn’t the polygamy, his sin is not giving you your rights. If your mother was his only wife, the situation of him not giving you and your mother your rights is equally possible.
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« Reply #60 on: Sep 13, 2008 11:58 PM »

Umm Billal
You have to take what I said in context.
I wasn’t attacking whites; I was attacking people worshiping whites and white culture as being intrinsically superior.
If you read through what I wrote again, I’m sure it would become clear.
The attack was on the Uncle Tom mentality.
People don’t have to be white to be a white supremacist.
Conquered people were thought white supremacy in colonial schools, this started to be removed after independence but since September 11th white Supremacy has infiltrated the minds and speeches of Muslims all over the world.
There are currently a whole bunch of white supremacists with brown faces and Muslims names telling us to obey the white masters and how nice these masters are and how we got it real good here. The same kind of stuff the uncle toms told the black men during slavery.


Secondly Durfar isn’t about racism, it is about rebellion.
The so called Sudanese Arabs are every bit as black as people from Durfar. People from Durfar speak as much Arabic as the so called Sudanese.
There is no difference between the two except for what the Kaffar say to get Muslims to kill Muslims, and support rebellion and division in the Muslim world.
I am not saying people in Darfar don’t have legitimate grievances, but they are not the lies you have seen on TV and they don’t justify killing Muslims to try and get independence.
It is true the Sudanese government has neglected Darfor, but what the Zionists don’t want you to know is this neglect stated with British occupation. The reason was Darfor fought Jihad against the British under the leadership of the Ottoman Khilafah while Khartoum sided with the British during the First World War.
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« Reply #61 on: Sep 14, 2008 12:45 AM »

Assalam Ailkum.

Brother Cheese while a lot of the worlds problems are the result of British colonialism....The time has come  for us to take responsibility, we cannot keep looking back.

You must also take things in context, Muslims killing Muslims is happening and we must condemn it..I have actually met refugees who have manged to escape for Dafur and heard their sad stories and seen their injuries.

Yes there are white supremacists, but there are a lot of good white people, just as  there are Muslims who discriminate against other Muslims for reasons of colour or origin, and good Muslims that don't.

I am sad to read your response to Princess 1983, it is credit to her mother that she has brought her up to be such a fine young woman and a good muslim.To imply that her mother was responsible for this is cruel and below the belt. there are many with similair experiences who have left Islam, because of this negative example..MashAllah she has not.One can feel her pain.
Brother cheese, clearly what has happened in Canada is not to be applauded.It is not an attack on Islam by white supremacists but muslims who have used Isalmic Law in a negative way.
May Allah soften your heart.
Salaams.
JJ
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« Reply #62 on: Sep 14, 2008 10:13 AM »

.”I have actually met refugees who have managed to escape from Dafur and heard their sad stories and seen their injuries.”

“their sad stories” are the key words here, their stories. There is another side to the story. There is another side which the neo-colonialists want to hide from you.
You heard about the consequences of the war, but what do you know about how the war started? About who started the war? Have you thought about the rules of Jihad and when it is Hallal to declare war against a country? Or don’t those rules matter when the country is a Muslim country and the rebels are armed by America and Israel?

You have met people from the rebelling side of that war, but if you meet people on the pro-government side you’d find that their stories and injuries are just as sad.
We can argue about who is suffering more and who has done more evil until the last day and nothing will change. The Key issue is to know how the war started to try and ensure it doesn’t happen again, and how to stop it. Darfor wasn’t invaded by Sudan, and the people there aren’t fighting an invading force like what the Mujahideen in Iraq, Palestine and Afghanistan are doing.

Darfor is fighting for independence; they are fighting to carve a piece of Sudan off in to an independent country. So they should stop the fight which will stop the atrocities and use peaceful means to try and resolve their legitimate grievances which started when the British tried to punish them for siding with the Khilafah and Islam during the Jihad of WW1 and continue to this day.

When America invaded Muslim nations they called the Muslims who fought back terrorists, but why don’t they call the people fighting for Darfors independence terrorists?
I see Muslims killing Muslims for independence as terrorists, and Muslims fighting invading Kaffir as Mujahideen. The Americans view things the other way around, there is nothing they love more than Muslims killing each other for America and Israel.

“Yes there are white supremacists, but there are a lot of good white people”

Sorry you still don’t understand what I meant.
I repeat I am not attacking white people. What I wrote wasn’t attacking nice white people, it wasn’t even attacking bad racist white people. It was attacking people like this Black man:

It was attacking brown people who think themselves inferior, and Worship White people as gods above Allah.
The context I wrote it here was about Polygamy. What I was saying is all nations practice it. It is the norm all over the world. We Muslims are not unusual for doing it. White Christians are unusual for refusing to do it. I say White Christians because African Christians and Asian Christians are polygamous. So when Muslims say Polygamy is wrong and try and reinterpret verses of the Quran to hide their true meaning, they do so because they think White culture is superior. They think like that man in that cartoon I pasted.
This mentality invaded the Muslim mindset during colonialism when some Muslims thought that if they start behaving like the invader they will become like them. Some black slaves thought the same. So whether it is a Black uncle tom praising his white masters, or Muslims praising the white invader, it is the same thing. It is the defeated nation emulating the victors thinking that the victor will accept them as one of their own in exchange.
This is why we have Muslim versions of that man in that cartoon, in Musjids and on the News attacking Muslim practices such as polygamy, Niqab and Jihad while praising everything in white nations and culture. These people are that man on that video, they are doing it for the same reason as that man on that video. They think the conquering colonialists will accept them as one of their own, but do you know what?
It will never happen; the Jews and Christians will never be pleased with us until we accept their religion. And when we reject polygamy for monogamy, Niqab for what modern western Christians consider modest dress, are we trying to accept their religion? Allah hu Alim.

About what princess wrote: Again I wasn’t attacking her or her mother. I was telling others not to attack her father, because they don’t know his side of the story. If you make a judgement you are doing exactly what you did about Darfor on this issue.

Quite the opposite of attacking her mother, I spoke as if her mother was in the right.
I stated that if her mother was right, her father’s sin would be the fact that he didn’t provide her mother with her mother’s rights.
So what princess wrote is irrelevant to the issue of polygamy, because there are a lot of men with one wife who treat her very badly and don’t give their children their rights. It is to do with people marrying and not providing the other parties with their rights. This can equally apply to a man married to one wife, to wives or a woman married to one husband, it may even apply to children not giving parents their rights.
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« Reply #63 on: Sep 14, 2008 08:19 PM »

As salaamu alaikum

Rather than speak on anything specific in detail I'll focus more on the general and pick a few things to mention. Islam and Muslims are under attack on many fronts - both from the outside and from the inside.

Everything we've been taught and everything we hold dear is scrutinzed and every attempt is made to alter it.  This thread is about the "legality/illegality" or if you will "acceptability/unacceptability" of polygymy.  But the same can be said about homosexuality in that we know it is wrong yet there are Muslims who are now "coming out of the closet" and insisting that Islam needs to be changed to make such a lifestyle acceptable.  (Yikes and icky). 

We cannot say that Western society gives Muslims the right to dress as we choose and pratice our religion as we choose when barriers to employment and education are set up in many places that makes being a visible practicing Muslim problematic. 

We know that racism/racial division is not from Islam but it has permeated the ummah and is very real and its impact is felt by those not of the 'chosen color" yet they are continuously told that it doesn't exist.

We know that there is not to be a distinction between those who are born/raised Muslim and those who are reverts but that distinction is made manifest more often than not yet they are told that it doesn't exist.

We know that there are certain factors that should be top priority when choosing a spouse yet the superficial qualities have floated to the top priority status.  Sad thing is superficial qualities fade and thus the wisdom in the original set of qualities that should be sought after.

We are supposed to treat each other with kindness yet we know that some people can be rude or abrasive for any reason (or no reason other than having a superior mindset). 

Have these things come about due to accepting the "conquerors" mindset; probably but what are we doing to go back to what we should be doing?  Apparently nothing or very little because if something was being done then no matter what the outside influence the internal (the ummah) would not be infected nor impacted. 

It pains me to not only know that these things are going on but to experience them first hand.  This is not the time to continue to speak of "be patient" but rather the time to act because before we know it Islam will have taken on such a completely new form that no one will recognize it.  We cannot necessarily rely on our "leaders" to impose the positive change since they have thus far opted to not really focus on it and when viewed on their personal choices know that the words they speak to the contrary are aimed at others but not themselves.  It is up to us as individuals to do something or we will find many people - both born/raised and revert Muslims - walking away and opting for a different path; a path that will permit them to do as they please when they please.

Fa'izah
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« Reply #64 on: Sep 29, 2008 12:25 PM »

Salam guys,

I would like to respond to brother Cheeses comments based on myvprevious post.

Firstly, I would like to comment AGAIN on the fact I am not against brothers using their right of taking more than one wife. Again, I want to highlight that before a brother uses his right to take on another wife he must must must consider all the factors attached to it. The rights of his wife and children, can he financially afford more than one family, can he divide his time equally. Polygamy is not on trial her brother, the fact is some choose to abuse a right given to them. That is what I feel is being discussed her along with the use of it in none-Muslim country.

In regards to my fathers side of the story. It is the month of Ramadan brother I have no desire to entertain what I feel is a "blokes rule" vibe you give out. All I have to say on the issue is if a father tells their child to their face "I don't want you I have my own KIDS" then I'm afraid that father is failing on many Islamic levels. A man who refuses to give his wife her rights is failing so WHY should he be 'bigged up' and phrased for using his right to have more than one wife?  Angry

There maybe brothers and sisters on this forum who know my fathers family due to the nature of my grandfathers work and if they do know my family they would be able to tell you my fathers side is what I present to you-empty. However brother I do not feel the need to justify my post to you and stick by what I wrote.

I do not mean to offend you brother but I feel you are suffering from tunnel vision when it comes to this thread. Maybe this subject is close to your heart-it is also close to my heart as I grew up without what I feel is a basic right of a father due to the abuse of the Polygamy rule.

I do hope that NO ONE on this forum or on this planet goes through what my mother was put through-and brother cheese I hope none of the women in your family go through it either and that is a sincere duaa. I do sense a kind of 'maybe your mother brought it on herself' vibe to which I say-feel what you want brother. I witnessed a lot with my own eyes. The reason I posted on this forum was to highlight that Polygamy can be abused. I must stress that there is more to consider than just 'oh I fancy her I'll marry her to stop myself commiting sin'. Marriage is a bond that we hope and pray is a lifelong bond. My mother prayed for the same and I'm sure sisters on her will agree that that is a prayer on the lips of many brides and their families and friends.

I was also addressing the fact that children are often a forgotten source in this situation.  I see that you have brushed that to one side. Children are the next generation of Muslims. Should we not strive to make sure no part of Islam becomes distorted and open to abuse so the next generation is clear on what Islam is about?

Oh and before I forget-yes my parents were married in the UK. I suppose that disappoints you now.

I am sorry if I have offended anyone-my reason for posting is to highlight exactly the issues we hide behind closed doors because we feel that it is best. If I can discuss my mother and my own life experiences and maybe touch the heart of one muslim and maybe stop someone from commiting to say a second marriage without thinking it through Mashallah my mission is well on its way.

Ume Bilal-thank you for your comments  hijabisis

Princess

Our Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) wasn't just sent to guide us Muslims, he is a unique, true example to EVERYONE.
This life is only a test-passing will equal Jannah, Inshallah!
Oh Muslim brothers and sisters-consider sponsoring an Orphan if Allah has blessed you with the finances to do so-Ameen.
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